Finding my way back to you
by Elisagirl
Summary: This story takes place after the episode 5x12, after Lindsay left Lucas. He is struggeling a bit, but finally realizes who truly owns his heart.
1. Chapter 1

_So, this is my first story on . It's a BL Story, I hope you all like it. Feel free to post a review, i'd love to read how you liked it...  
_

Lucas sat on his bed, looking around his empty room

Lucas sat on his bed, looking around his empty room. He closed his eyes, breathing out still in disbelief. Was this really happening? It was a few ago since Lindsay had left him. His mum, Andy and Lilly had already left, but not before Lucas assured his mother that he was going to be okay. But now he wasn't so sure about that. What happened? A months ago he was so sure about him and Lindsay. Or did he only lied to himself? His head was a total mess, he felt like he couldn't think straight. He got up, and started packing a bag. He went to his closet looking through his stuff. That's when he saw a little box. He grabbed it with a smile on his face. He opened it, only to find an empty bottle of his HCM Medication, along with a red feather. He smiled again. Brooke. Her name came to his mind, along with some memories. Some good memories.

„Hi." Lucas rushed around to find Peyton in his doorway. She looked at him with big eyes.

„Hi." He replied. He put the box away and got a shirt in stead, walking back to his bed to put it in his bag.

„Are you leaving?" She asked with a little voice. He simply nodded.

„You are going after her, aren't you?" she asked.

„No Peyton, I'm not." He saw relief in her eyes. And somehow he didn't feel good about it.

„So, then where are you going?"

„I don't know yet, i just need to clear my head."

She nodded, she seemed to understand. „I'm sorry i didn't check in before, i just really didn't know what to say to you."

„So then why are you here now?" he asked. Peyton was taken aback.

„Like i said, i wanted to see how you're doing. I wasn't expecting to find you packing up your stuff and leaving without saying goodbye."

„I'm sorry, I didn't know i had to report every single step i'm about to take.."

„Luke..." She looked at him, hurt by his harsh words. He turned around and got some other stuff to put in his bag. He didn't feel good talking to her like that, but somehow he couldn't change it.

„I know, this is probably the worst timing ever – but where does this leave us?" Her voice was unsure and almost cracking up.

„Somehow it's always bad timing with you. With us." He said sheepishly.

„What do want to say by that?"  
He just gave her a look, and she looked down. Taking this in. There was a moment of silence. Peyton Sawyer. She was beautiful, caring, and just so much like him. And yet, he felt that something has changed.

„Like i said, i just need to get away, i need to clear my head."

„Okay... For how long are you going to be away?"

„I have no idea Peyton." His voice was getting louder. Her eyes got bigger. „Right know i don't know much of everything. So would you just please stop questioing me?" She stepped back, reaching for the door.

„Call me, when you're home – and when you want to talk. Anytime."  
And then she was gone. And then he felt the strangest thing. He felt relieved. He picked up his bag, and left his room and his house.

Brooke rushed in to her store a few days later. It was morning and she was late – again.

„Oh Milicent, thank god you're already here."

„Of course, someone has to open the store, right?"

The two girls smiled at each other. Brooke was happy to have her here. She heared the door open and turned around. „Hey Tutorgirl!" She greeted Haley. „Hey." Haley replied.

„In the mood for some shopping?"

„Not really. Just came by to say hi."

Brooke put an arm around her and guided her to the couch.  
Shortly after they were sitting next to each other, having coffee and were talking.  
„Have you heard from Lucas?" Brooke asked her.

„No. I tried his cell, but he didn't answer."

„Do you think we need to worry about him?" Brooke asked her friend.

„I don't think so. He said on the message he left me on my mailbox the day he left, that he just need to be alone, and clear his head."  
Brooke nodded. „Yeah, i understand. Sometimes you need to take a step back to really deal with it all."

„By the way? How's Peyton?"

„She's okay. She keeps herself busy – i know she's still very confused, and the fact that he said yes kind of bugs her too."

„Yeah." Haley nodded. „Do you think they are going to work things out? Getting back together?"

Brooke shrugged. „I don't know."

„To be honest, i don't even know if i want them to."

„What do you mean?" Brooke asked her friend.

„Don't get me wrong, you know i love Peyton. But somehow, she never managed to make him entirely happy. And he was devasted when she turned down his proposal. I was really worried about him back then. And at the same time i was kind of angry at her." She took a sip of her coffee and put the cup down again.  
Brooke took this in, not responding. She remembered his visit in New York, when they were celebrating his book. He tried his best to show that he was really happy, but she knew he had been heartbroken. She decided to burry this thought for now.

„How are things with you and Nathan?" She asked instead. Haley looked down, she seemed still upset.  
„I don't really know. I'm still having a hard time to entirely forgive him and to move on."

Brooke grabed her hand and squeezed it tightly. „You will get there – you're Nathan and Haley. You're the definition of true love."  
She squeezed Brookes hand back. „I missed this Brooke." Haley confessed.. „You and me, talking. I'm really glad to have you home friend." Brooke gave her a warm look.

A FEW WEEKS LATER

Brooke got home, looking trough the mail as she found Peyton sitting in the kitchen, having tears in her eyes.  
„Hey Peyton, what's wrong?" She rushed over to here, sitting next to her.

„No word from him. It's been weekes and no word from him. I even left him a few messages, and he just doesn't answer.

„Sweetie, he said he wanted to be left alone for a while. What were you expecting?"

„I don't know. Just something. Anything."

Brooke nodded. „I know it's not easy. But that's how Lucas is. When something happens he first has to deal with it on his own. You just have to let him. And when he's ready, when he wants to talk to you, he will get in touch with you."  
Brooke took her in her arms, offering her a hug. She knew what it was like to feel left behind from Lucas. She knew how Lucas could react in those kind of moments.

After making sure that Peyton was okay, she left again, to take a little walk. She breathed the fresh air in. She had been thinking to try to contact Lucas herself. Maybe it wasn't her place anymore, but she was somehow worried. Like she's always been when he was in a dark place. Suddenly she found herself in front of the rivercourt. She walked her way to the middle of the court and looked at their signatures they all made years ago. A sad smile came across her face. Those were the days. Most of them were good, but some heartache too. Suddenly she heard something behind her. She looked up in surprise, only to find Lucas in front of her. He looked good, as always.  
A small „Hey" left her lips. He smiled at her. She followed her instinct and made a few steps towards him, and hugged him. He hugged her back tightly.

„Since when are you back?" She asked as she broke away from his embrace.

„A few hours ago." He replied. She noddes. „Are you okay?" She asked.

„Yeah. It was good to get away from it all."

They both looked down again at their signatures. „Seemed like a lifetime ago, hm?" said Brooke.

„Tell me about it." They both shared a sad look.

„What are you doing here alone on your own?" he asked after a while.

„Had to get some air. But i wasn't expecting to bump into you here. Well, this was normally the place to find you when you weren't doing so well, but i meant you being away and everyhing."

He nodded. „I wasn't expecting to find you here either. But i'm glad i did."

They shared another look, smiling slightly at each other.

It was a beautiful night. You could see the stars very clearly, and it wasn't too cold, neither was it too warm. Just the perfect night for two souls to walking next to each other, talking to each other.  
„So did you go see Lindsay on that little trip of yours?" Brooke asked Lucas. He hesitated for a second.

„Well at first i didn't want to. But then, somehow, I ended up in New York anyway. I was in front of her office, ready to go up, i had my whole speech planed out, i knew had to go to talk to her." Brooke looked at him, listening. „But then i saw her coming out of the building, and i saw her smiling, talking to a collague. She was happy. And i realized I haven't seen her smile in a long time. All this messed up history with Peyton – she really suffered."

„Yeah, that's a tough one, believe me" Brooke said with a little voice. He looked at her with worried eyes. „Never mind, go on", Brooke reasured him.

„Anyway, i didn't approached her. Somehow I felt like i didn't have the right to it..."

„Well maybe, someday you will."

„Yeah maybe."

There was a moment of silence. „Then i left New York, i joined my Mom, Andy and Lilly. And it felt really good to just be for myself a little while. You know, without all the drama. Silence really helped me realize, that i need to be on my own for now. Focus on other things."

„Like your second book?"

Lucas smiled. „Well, that's mainly the reason why Lindsay walked away. I think I'm going to burn that script. Brought me nothing but trouble..."

„That bad?" Brooke smiled, trying to light him up.

„The story is about a boy, who's waiting for something to come back to his life. Giving it meaning again. And she thinks I was talking about Peyton."

Brookes smile froze. „Were you?"

He shrugged. „It's true that I felt like something was missing in my life when I wrote it. I felt like I'm still searching for something that's been missing. So she might be right to be worried about that – i mean, not the greatest start for a marriage, right? But was I thinking of Peyton specifically? No, I don't think so..."  
They kept walking next to each other, until they ended up in front of her house.

„Well thanks for walking me home Lucas."

„Anytime Brooke."

They hugged, and Brooke went up the stairs to her door.  
„Hey Brooke!" Lucas said. She turned around, to face him again.

„I don't know if that still means something to you – but I am truely sorry for all the times i did make you suffer." He looked straight into her eyes. She shrugged and nodded: „It does." After a second she added: „Thank you."  
After a beat he turned around and left. She remained on her porch, watching him leave. For a minute she felt like seventeen again – hurt, heartbroken and alone, watching he boy she loves walking away.

When Brooke came down the stairs the next morning she felt tired. She hadn't slept very good. When she met her best friend Peyton in the kitchen, something was telling her, she wasn't the only one.

„Good morning P. Sawyer."

„Good morning. Coffee?" Peyton offered her a cup of coffee, which Brooke accepted.

„So, today is a new day. I'm gonna stop crying over Lucas, I'm gonna stop all that crap. Life goes on right?"  
Brooke looked at her with a guilty look.

„What?" Peyton asked.

„Haven't heard from him?"

„No, why?" Brooke bit her lower lip. „Did you?"

„Yeah. I met him last night."

„What? Where? And why are you telling me this only now?"

„Because I came home late, you were already in your room."

„Late? So did you guys talk? Did he mention me?"

Brooke looked out of the window, her eyes narrowing the porch, from where she watched him walking away yesterday.  
„Yes and no" she replied. Peyton looked at her still all confused. „Look, just talk to him yourself" She checked the watch. „And like you said - life goes on! I gotta go, I'm late again, Milicent is going to kill me." She packed up her stuff and ran out of the door.

„Brooke, you can't just..." Peyton yelled after her, but she was already gone, leaving her friend alone.

Shorty after that, Peyton was knocking on Lucas's door.  
After a beat, the door opened, and Peyton was standing in front of Haley.

„Hi Hales."

„Hey."

There was a akward moment of silence. The two girls haven't really talked since the day Lindsay left Lucas.

„Looking for Lucas, I guess?"

„Yeah, actually I am."

„Well he's out for a run, but if you want you come in and wait for him?"

Peyton nodded and entered. They both went into the living room. Peyton sat down on the couch, greeting Jamie, who was watching TV. „Jamie wanted to see his uncle, so we stopped by. We're waiting for him like you are." Haley left the room and went into the kitchen. Jamie stared at Peyton. After a moment she got up, joining Haley in the kitchen.

„Haley – we're cool, right?"  
Haley looked at her in silence. „I mean, i feel like there is this negativ tension between us. And i know, you are close to Lindsay..."

„Yeah, I am Peyton."

„And that's great, she is a nice girl..."

„Oh come on Peyton, you've never liked her. You always wanted Lucas to yourself."

„What's that suppose to mean?"

„He was happy Peyton – he really was. After you turned him down he was heartbroken. And then when he finally finds happiness again, you just come rushing back into his life, and tearing down everything he's been building in the meantime. So forgive me, if i'm not as happy as you are to see my best friend devastated again..."

„You think I'm happy about this?" Peyton's voice got louder.

„Honestly? Yes, I think you got excactly what you've wanted, what you came home for."  
All of the sudden Jamie came running in the kitchen yelling: „Uncle Lucas is home!" Both girls looked to the door, where Lucas was standing, looking back at both of them.

„What's going on?"

Haley sighed as she reached out for Jamies hand. „Come on we're leaving the two of them alone."

„But i want to spend some time with uncle Lucas" Jamie protested.

„You'll see him later, right Luke?"

Lucas stroke the boy's hair. „Yeah, i will stop at your house later, okay?" Jamie nodded and then they were gone. Lucas walked into the kitchen and took a bottle of water out of the fridge.

„What's up Peyton?"

Peyton looked at him in disbelief. „Well you're home, that's already something. Didn't you get my messages?"

„I did. But like I've told you before I left – I really needed some time alone."

„Okay, okay. Well would just please talk to me now?"

„What do you want me to say?"

Peyton took a few steps in his direction. „How did we get here? I feel like you're miles away from me."

„Since you haven't noticed we've been miles away for years now."

„I know, and i've already told you i should've said yes..."

„It's not about that Peyton", he interruped her.

„Then just tell me what happened? How did we end up here? I mean, I've been trying to fix this, to fix us, but somehow you just won't let me.."

„Maybe it's because I don't want you to."

„You don't want me to...?" Peyton's eyes filled with tears.

„Peyton, I'm not saying this to hurt you, it's just - things change. I've changed. And right now, I can't pretend like nothing has happened. I mean, after everyhing, you can't honestly expect me to just go back to where we were years ago? Because I can't do that."

Peyton looked at him with big eyes. Not able to respond.

„I'm sorry." He left the kitchen to take a shower, while Peyton was trying her best to hide her tears.  
When Lucas entered the bathroom he heard the front door closing.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you guys so much for your kind reviews.. Love reading those  
So here's the next update... A short one, but i hope it's still worth to be checking out.._

_--_

In the afternoon Lucas stopped by at Haley's. He knocked, but went straight in to find her sitting at her piano, playing. „Hey Hales."  
Her eyes met his. She looked concerned.

„What is it, Hales?" He asked her.

„How was your talk with Peyton?" He was just going to reply, when she interrupted him. „You know what? I don't really wanna now. If you wanna go back to her just a few weekes after Lindsay left you at the wedding, then fine, it's your life. But just for the record: I don't think she deserves a guy like you."

„Hales..."

„I know, none of my business, I'm just.. worried about you Luke.."

„Well first of all Hales, it is you business."  
He went up to her, his hands meeting her shoulders.  
„You are my best friend. You have a right to have an opinion. Even when we have our differences, i want you to care. And I'm glad you do."

A little smile came across her face.

„And second of all, getting back to Peyton is the last thing on my mind right now."

Haley looked surprise. „Really?"

„Yes, really. I just wanna be on my own for a while. Since high school i've always been in a relationship. And with Lindsay... I really thought that I found the one person I wanna spend the rest of my life with." He sighted. „I just don't wanna rush things at the moment. I feel like i need to take a step back..."

She nodded. „You'll be okay Luke. I know you will."

„Uncle Lucas, finally you're here!" Jamie came running up to Lucas. He picked him up, swinging him in circles. „Hey buddy. Ready to go?

„Where are we going?"

„Well how about some ice cream?"

Jamie was screaming in agreement.  
Haley smiled. „You two have fun!"

„Well well, if it isn't my godchild and his other godparent..." Brooke smiled when she saw Lucas and Jamie walking trough the door of her store. „And you're eating ice-cream with him too?" She asked Jamie in shock.

„Next time i'll go again with you aunt Brooke, i promise."

„It's okay. You have to take all the ice-scream you can get, right?"

Lucas laughed at the two of them. They were too adorable. It was amazing how good Brooke were with children.  
„We just came by to say hi." He said.

„Well then... Hi."

„Hi." He replied with a smile.

„How are you doing?" She asked.

„I'm okay i guess."

„Brooding much these days?"

He smiled at her, feeling good inside. „There isn't much cheering in my life lately."

She smiled back. „Well then, come on, let's change that."

„What are you up to Brooke?"

They spent the afternoon together, along with Jamie. Brooke took the day off, leaving the store to Milicent. They ate some more ice-cream, went into the park, chased each other around, and having a good time. A stranger, passing them by, would be thinking of them as a happy little family.  
Later they headed to the rivercourt, Jamie wanted to play some basketball.  
„Do you know how to play, Brooke?" he asked her.

„Not really, she always sucked at this." Lucas answered the question for her.

She hit him softly. „Hey, i dated a basketball player once."

„Yeah? Was he good?" Jamie asked.

„He wasn't bad." Brooke winked in Lucas direction, while he was about to object.  
„No, he was pretty good", she added.  
„Better than daddy?" Jamie asked.  
„Well, that's a tough one..." She didn't know what to respond. Lucas started laughing and Brooke smiled as well.

„Didn't he teach you how to play?"

„I'll bet he did." Lucas said.

„Yeah, he did – once or twice."

„Where you in love with him?" Jamie looked at her.  
She blinked. „Yes." She simply said.  
„Why did you stop dating him?" Jamie asked.  
Brooke was caught by surprise. She looked at Lucas who was silent, looking at her.  
"Well, for different reasons."

„Did you not love him anymore?" Jamie looked at her, with his big, innocent eyes. Her eyes got bigger as well.  
„No, that wasn't one of the reason." Lucas looked at her, his gaze was somehow sad, she couldn't read him.

„Where is he now?" Jamie asked.

„He... He's gone. He's not with me anymore."

Brooke looked down, avoiding Lucas's eyes.  
„Come on buddy, let's play!" Brooke took Jamies Ball, leading him on the court and leaving Lucas sitting on the bench. He watched them play, giggling and running around. Suddenly he saw images in his mind, rushing by. He remembered how they used to have fun just playing around on the rivercourt. How he tried to teach her to do a free throw, and how she failed nearly every time. And when she succeeded, she was screaming and bouncing around in excitment. She would run up to him, hug and kiss him. He remembered how her soft lips met his, how he stroke her hair everytime they hugged. How she got him smiling every time he was feeling down. Kind of like now.

„Look at this Jamie, your uncle is smiling!" Brooke yelled from the center of the river court.

Lucas's smile got bigger. He got back on his feet and made his way up to them, stealing the ball from Brooke's hands and dunked it.

After they brought Jamie home, the two of them decided to grab something to eat.  
They ordered some food, and kept talking and laughing. When they got out of the restaurant, it was already late. „Come on, i'll give you a ride home" he offered her. She accepted and they walked up to his car. A few minutes later Lucas stopped the car in front of her house.

„Thanks Luke."

„No, thank you Brooke. I had a great time today. "

„Yeah, me too." She replied.

They were looking in each other's eyes. There was a moment of silence. Lucas thought about bringing the subject of Jamie's questions up, but she already opened the door.  
„Bye Lucas." And then she was out of his car, already walking towards her door.  
„Bye Brooke" he whispered more to himself than to her, as she couldn't hear him anymore. He watched her walking away, and suddenly he felt the urge to keep her from leaving. To make her stay with him. Her smile, her way of seeing things, her way of being just herself – he's been missing it. He's been really enjoying her company.  
She turned around again, waving to him. He waved back.  
Maybe it was the only company he could bear at the moment.  
When she closed the door behind her, he started the engine and drove away.

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_TBC_

_I will update as soon as I can! Feel free to review…_


	3. Chapter 3

_So here's another update my dear readers! Thanks again for all your reviews!_

_Enjoy :_)

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"Good morning!" Nathan walked his way up to Lucas, who was sitting on the bench, next to the river court.

„Morning little brother!" Lucas smiled as he saw Nathan walking up to him, having a basketball in his hands.

„Haven't seen you in a while.. You're okay?", Nathan asked

„Getting there." He answered his question. „How are you? How are you and Haley? Things good again between you guys?"

„Getting there." Nathan answered with a little smile. „So, Jamie was all excited when he came home the other day. Apparently he had a blast with you guys."

Lucas smiled. „Yeah, it was a good day."

„Due to the fact that my awesome son was part of it, or that Brooke Davis was there too?"

Lucas gave him a look. „Both i guess."

„Yeah, i figuered."

„What?" Lucas smiled innocently.

„I know you Luke. You have that look. The same you had years ago when I told you, you should tell the girl you have feelings for how you really feel." Nathan walked up to the middle of the court, facing him again. „In case you haven't noticed back then – I was talking about Brooke."

While Nathan was shooting around, Lucas mumbeld with a pensive look on this eyes: „I know you were."

Later they walked together back to Nathan's and Haley's house. Nathan had invited him to eat lunch with them. „So, talk to me. How are you really doing?" Nathan asked his brother.

„The trip i took was really great. It cleared my mind a little bit."

„Okay. So do you know what you want now?"

Lucas gave him a look.

„What? I know that's a tough one, especially with you."

„What are you saying?" Lucas asked Nathan.

„Come on Luke, it's always been like that with you. First Peyton, then Brooke, then Peyton, then Nikki, then Anna, then Brooke again, Peyton again, and then Lindsay..."  
„Okay okay, you can stop there", Lucas interrupted him.

Nathan laughed. „You are a real piece of work man... But hey, it's your life. I'm not judging. I'm just saying, that kind of always been your problem."

„Isn't everyone struggeling with that question? What they really want in life? Which path, which direction we're supposed to take?"

„Yeah I guess so – at a some certain point maybe." Nathan answered. „But we're talking about some really great girls Luke, that I care about too. I'm just saying, whoever you choose to be with – may it be someone from your past, or maybe someone you haven't even met yet – just be sure that you're in it with your whole heart this time. Because when you are, then you won't ever ask yourself those kind of questions."

Lucas let this sink in, not respoding for a beat. Then he looked at his brother again, asking: „So, did you always know what you wanted?"

„Yeah, about one thing i was always certain in my life." Nathan pointed towards his house, where Jamie and Haley were playing by the pool.  
Lucas looked at them, with a smile on his face. He looked back at Nathan, who looked happily at his wife and his son. „I'm not saying that people don't screw up Lucas. I mean look at me." Nathan paused. „We all make mistakes. But the important thing is what we do afterwards. We need to make sure that we know what we really want. And then we need to figure out how we're gonna mend the things we broke – and fight like hell for it."

Nathan touched his brother's shoulder and then walked up to Haley and Jamie, picking his son up, and putting his arm around around Haley, putting a soft kiss on her cheeck.  
Lucas was watching the scene. He felt happy and sad at the same time. Happy to see his brother and his best friend like that. Happy to see Jamie smile again, having both of his parents around him. But at the same time he felt a void in his heart. He felt empty, wishing to finally find and be at peace with this kind of happiness he was witnessing.

At the same time, Brooke was sitting in her office in her house. She had re-decorated the room with a beautiful view, making it to her office. Besides having a desk with the phone on it, and her mac, she also had another table, where she was designing her new clothing line. It was more for fun, she hadn't done it years ago, she's been really busy with the whole business stuff from her company. But today, she was in the mood to make so new designs. She sat on the table, enjoying the view, and breathing the fresh air in. She looked around in her room. There were all sorf of pictures. From her success with her company, but there was also one of jamie, one of nathan and Haley, one of her and Peyton, one of Rachel. She got up, wandering around, watching the pictures. She really missed being home, missed being around her friends, the people she spent the most valuable time of growing up together. And then she found another picture. It was one of Lucas, he was smiling widely into the camera. She's been fighting how good she's been feeling in Lucas's company. Of couse she had spent some time with him lately to cheer him up, but she couldn't deny that she was enjoying the time they spent together. She felt something that she hadn't felt in a long time ago: She felt entirely and truely happy.  
Then she found another one. The one they took at the prom in honey grove. It was one with all of them. On the left Nathan and Haley, in the middle her and Mouth and on the right - Lucas and Peyton. She frowned. She remembered how she walked in on them that night – she felt like her heart was ripping out of her chest. But that was the way it was suppose to be. She re-felt the pain in her heart when she first read Lucas's novel but only to chase that thought away again. Lucas and Peyton obviously belonged together. She had been right all along – but that didn't really helped much.

At the same time, a certain someone was thinking about her as well.  
He didn't know why, but he catched himself thinking of Brooke more an more these days. He couldn't really explain it, but as soon he had caught himself thinking about her, the thought was gone, all what was left behind was a bittersweet moment.  
He had joined Nathan, Haley and Jamie for lunch. They sat down together, eating lunch and laughing, enjoying time together. He remembered what Haley told him a few years back: You're a part of this family, and you always will be.

„Lucas?" He snapped out of his thoughts, looking at Haley who was obviously waiting for an answer.

„Sorry Hales, I was..."

„Brooding?" She asked with a smile on her face. Lucas smiled back, Brooke immediately came back again to his mind.

„Let's call it thinking."

„Whatever you say... Do you want some coffee?" She asked him. They had finished lunch by now, Nathan was joining Jamie, who was already by the pool again, enjoying the beautiful weather.

„No thanks, I think I'm gonna head home." He stood up, picking up his plate, and brought it in the kitchen. Haley followed him with some other dishes. „You are welcomed to stay you know."

Lucas turned around to face her. „Thank you, but I'm in the mood to do some writing."

„Oh, okay." Haley nodded.

„Since my last book probably won't get published and you didn't like it, i got some work to do."

„Come on Luke, that's not fair. It was just the Peyton part that was a little weird, regarding you were just about to marry somebody else."

„Would you just stop? God, why does everybody think that? It's not about Peyton, okay?" His voice was getting a little louder.

„Well it's obviously about somebody or something you're missing in your life. If it's not Peyton, who or what is it?" Haley looked at him.

Lucas shrugged. Not responding.

„Call me if you need anything at all, okay?"  
She hugged him tightly, whispered „bye" and left the kitchen to go out to Jamie and and Nathan, who were still playing by the pool. And there it was again – Brooke. The image of her, chasing after Jamie the other day was rushing trough his mind. He tried to follow the thought, where it came from, but it was gone again. He smiled. Then he frowned, sighed, opened the door and left.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you so much for all your reviews._

_Here is another update:_

--

Lucas was sitting in front of his computer

Lucas was sitting in front of his computer.  
Yesterday he felt the urge to write, and he did write a few pages, but today, he couldn't think straight. Somehow no word seemed right, and every path he chose to take, somehow ended wrong. He sighed. He got up, walked into the kitchen and poured him a glass of water. All of the sudden his phone rang.

„Hello?"

„Hey Lucas, it's Nathan."

„Hey Nate, what's up?"

„Nothing, just checking in and looking if you're maybe in the mood for some basketball?"

„I'd love to, but right now I'm writing – or at least I'm trying, and afterwards I kind of already have plans..."

„You do?"

„Yeah, Brooke asked me If I'd go with her in this new Club not too far from here."

„I see..." Nathan simply said.

„I know what you're thinking little brother..."

„I didn't say anything man!" He heard him laughing.

„Whatever... Do you and Haley care to join?"

Nathan hesitated. „I don't know, actually it's been a while since we last went out."

„Well then come on, it will be fun! And since you and Haley got this new nanny, you don't even need a babysitter for Jamie."

„Okay I will talk to Haley about this. I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

„Yeah sure. Bye."

At nine o'clock there was a knock on Lucas's door. He opened and saw Brooke standing in front of him. She looked amazing. She had a short black dress on, her hair was curley, and she smelled incredibly good as he pulled her into a hug. When they broke away from each other Lucas looked at her again. „Wow. You look beautiful Brooke." He could see her blush a little as she thanked him.

„So, you're ready?"

„Yeah, just give me a minute." He walked back to his room, getting his jacket.

He heard another knock on the door. That must be Nathan and Haley. Before he could explain to Brooke that he had invited the two to join them, she had already opened the door and greeted their friends. „Hey you!" She gave both a hug.

„Is it okay if they join us? I meant to ask you, but somehow I lost track of time..."

„Yeah absolutely. The more the merrier, right?" She laughed. She took Haley by the hand, telling the guys they would be waiting outside. Lucas put his Jacket on and got his keys.

„You forgot to tell her?" Nathan asked, shaking his head.

„You heard it yourself, she's cool with it. We'll have a nice evening as friends. All together."

They all got out of Lucas's car and walked in the club. It was really nice inside. Not too crowded, but still enough people to create a nice atmosphere. There was some good music in the background. People were mostly sitting and talking. There was a dance floor in the back of the club, but they sat down at a table. Lucas and Nathan went to the bar, getting the drinks for everyone.

„So, thanks for taking us with you guys, it's been like forever since Nathan and I went out."

„No problem, it's my pleasure! And I'm glad we get to spend more time together."

„Yeah, me too. We should do this more often. You know, just the gang. Altough it sould be getting a little weird, with Lucas and Peyton around, since they are somehow not together – I think."

Brooke nodded. „Yeah, I know what you mean. But I'm sure they'll work it out." She felt awful hearing herself saying those words.

„I don't think so Brooke", Haley said. Brookes heart jumped a little. „Why?"

„Well Lucas doesn't seem like he wanted to get back together with her. He told me the other day."

Brooke felt her heart racing. She looked over to the bar, catching Luke's eye. He was looking straight at her. She lost herself in his blue eyes, feeling her heart race a little faster. He was staring back, not moving at all. He gave her a sweet smile, which she returned slightly. She broke away from the moment, getting back to reality, facing Haley again who was telling her about hiring a new nanny.  
„There you go girls!" Nathan brought a glass of wine for everyone. Haley thanked her husband with a kiss on the check. Lucas and Brooke simply looked at each other without saying a word.

„So, how about a toast?" Haley suggested.

„Okay. Do you have one?" Nathan asked her.

„Yeah, actually I do." She held her glas in the middle and the other joined her.  
„To the best godparents that Jamie could ever dream of – and to the best maid of honor and best man - and to friendship, hope and courage." They all smiled at each other and clinked glasses.

„Thank you Haley." Brookes whispered to her friend.

„Nicely said Hales." Nathan put his arm around her waist.

„Well it's true. You two are so good with Jamie, he adores both of you. I'm really glad we picked you guys to be his godparents"

„Well it's been an honour – right Brooke?" Lucas winked in Brooke's direction. She just nodded with a smile on her face. They had some more wine, and talked for a few more hours. The girls even hit the dancefloor once – they couldn't resist to the music. Haley and Brooke had a blast, just kidding around, laughing and feeling young.  
Lucas and Nathan have been watching from their table. Lucas eyes rested on Brooke – her body was moving rhythmically to the music, and her happy face made him smile, and feel all good inside.

„I'm gonna get another drink Nate." With that said, he went to the bar, and ordered his drink. From where he was standing, he got an even closer look at Brooke. He noticed the looks of the other guys, resting on the pretty brunette as well. One even tried to hit her by dancing so obviously around her. Haley rolled her eyes, and tried to drag Brooke with her. But they guy followed them and tried again to get closer to Brooke. Lucas took a big sip from his glass. He didn't like what he saw. Haley seemed to have noticed him, because she formed the word „help" with her lips. Lucas didn't think twice, he made his way through the crowd and after a few steps he stood in front of Brooke. The guy still tried to get closer to her, maybe he's had a few too many beers, there was no chance in hell that Brooke would be hoocking up with this guy. Lucas put his arm around Brookes waist and turned her towards him, until she was leaning against his chest, her eyes looking surprised into his. His eyes were narowing the guy who has been trying to hit on her for the past few minutes.

„Take you hands of my girl, would you?"

Lucas held Brooke tight against his him. She felt his heart racing against hers. She could feel him breathing. The guys just held his hands up, shrugging and walked away.

„Nicely done Luke." Haley seemed impressed and left them alone, joining Nathan who was still standing by their table. Brooke looked up to Lucas.

„Thank you."

„Anything for you." He said with slight smile on this face.  
She remembered when he had found her in his kitchen, cleaning the floor. He had told her the exact same words, she remembered how he had looked at her – his look was full of warmth and kindness, and something she wasn't able to understand. Kind of like he was looking at her now. Brooke didn't dare to move, his arms around her made her feel something she hadnt felt in a long time – she felt good in her own skin. She felt alive. They kept staring in each other's eyes. For a moment the music stoped, they didn't hear the loud music around them, all the cheering and laughing from the other people around them faded away, all they could see was each other's eyes – and remain in the memory of the past, yet feeling each other in the present.  
The moment ended, as a drunken someone bumped into them. „Sorry" he mumbled and moved on. Lucas rubbed Brookes back slightly. „Let's go back to our table." Brooke nodded and they left the dancefloor.

„What was that?" Haley asked her husband, while she watched the scene on the dancefloor.

„Don't tell me you haven't noticed until now..."

„Noticed what?"

Nathan didn't answer, he just pointed towards Brooke and Lucas, who joined them at their table.

„What a jerk! Thank god Luke was around." Haley said.

„Yeah, he's a life-saver!" Brooke agreed.

„Good thing you were standing so close to that dancefloor" Nathan whispered to Lucas, while the girls started talking. They shared a look and Nathan just grined at his brother.  
Brooke tried to avoid Lucas for the rest of the night. After what had happened on the dancefloor, she somehow she didn't feel comfortable around him. Not that she didn't enjoyed being near him, it actually the opposite. It re-awakening something inside of her, that she wasn't ready to deal with, or show, or share with anyone. Especially not with him.

Lucas noticed that Brooke has been acting different, since he had gone rescueing her on the dancefloor. Was it about the moment she had been in his arms? He was surprised that taking Brooke in his arms felt to him like the most normal thing in the world. Somehow she just matched perfectly.

„Jamie won't stop telling us about the afternoon he got to spend with you guys!" Haley told them. „You guys spoil him to much."

„Well it was Lucas who bought him ice-cream this time!" Brooke defended herself.

„Ho-hoo... And who bought him candy a few blocks further?"

„Okay, so I guess we are spoiling him, it's all on us!" Brooke declared. They all started laughing.

„Imagine that, some days ago he even asked me, why his aunt brooke and his uncle Lucas aren't a couple" said Haley, still laughing. Lucas smile froze, noticing the look from Nathan.

„Yeah, imagine that..." Brooke replied. She looked at Lucas who simply looked back. Somehow she felt offended. At the same time she felt ridiculous for feeling that way. There was a pause of silence. Suddelny she got up. „I'll be back in a minute."  
She rushed to the bathroom, relieved to find it empty.  
She hoped the others wouldn't be suspicious about her sudden departure. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. „Don't be ridiculous" she said to herself. She tried with all her strength to fight what she was feeling re-awaking in her heart. This just couldn't be happening, she couldn't go trough it all again. She kept breathing in and out, trying to clam herself down. This must be the wine, there's no way that this was happening again.  
There was a knock, and suddelny Haley was standing in the door. „Hey Brooke. Is everyhing okay?"

Brooke nodded. „Sure." She was trying her best to smile, and convince her friend that everyting was okay. She started searching trough her bag, looking for her make up. She heard Haley steps behind her.

„Still, you do seem to be upset." Haley rubbed her friend's back, looking at the reflection of her in the mirror. Brooke looked up, nodded again.

„I'm fine Hales – really." She reasured her Haley and herself at the same time. Brooke squeezed Haley's shoulders and then she left the bathroom again, leaving a worried Haley behind.

„Goodnight guys!" Nathan waved at Lucas and Brooke from the driveway of their house. „I had a wonderful time, we should this more often!" Haley added, standing beside her husband. Brooke waved back through the open window. „Sure, anytime."  
She was sitting next to Lucas who was behind the wheel. „Bye guys!" Lucas restarted the engine and drove slowely away, in direction of Brooke's house.

„You've been quiet for the past hours. You're okay?" he asked her.

„Yeah, i think so." She replied with a soft voice.

„You can always talk to me, you know that, right?" He touched briefly her leg, offering some sort of comfort. She seemed sad, and pensive. She looked at him, not responding. Then she nodded slighlty. He looked away again, concentrating on the traffic. She turned, facing the window and Tree Hill at night. She could still feel the spot where he had laid this hand a few seconds ago. She felt cold and warm inside, everything at the same time. She put her arms around her, shivering a little bit.

„Are you cold?" He noticed instantly. They stopped at a red light. He grabbed his jersey, putting it on her shoulders. „There you go."

„Thank you" She nestled herself in it. And there it was. This smell. His smell. She would recognize it out of a million. She thought of the many times he had been close to her, his skin against hers, her breathing his taste in. That smell would always make her feel safe. It was the smell she was scenting when she had been in his arms.  
„Do you sometimes picture your life?" His question ripped her out of her toughts.  
„I mean, like who you're gonna be in like five years from now? And what you'll be doing, or who you're gonna have by your side?"

„Yeah, sometimes." She replied. „I mean I achieved some pretty great things. I have my company, my cloths. So I took care of the what – so I'm guessin it's more about who these days" she admitted with a little voice.

„So then who do you see in your future?" he asked her.

„You know, it's funny. If you would have asked me that same question a few years ago, the answer would have been without hesitation: Lucas Scott."

He looked at her in surprise of her honesty. She looked back for a moment, then turned around to face the night again. „But right now, I can't see too much" she added in her raspy voice.

He kept watching her, searching for a suitable answer.  
Suddelny there was a horn behind them. Lucas looked at he redlight again, only to find it green. He apologized with a hand wave to the car behind him and started driving again.

She closed her eyes again, breathing in his smell once more, and enjoying the moment of some more memories passing trough her mind. They remained silent for the rest of the drive. Brooke in her toughts, and Lucas still thinking about what to say, only to realize that the moment was already gone.  
Suddenly the car stopped. She opened her eyes, turning towards Lucas and realized that they were already infront of her house. She wished that they would drive some more, and she could spend some more time in his company, and in the company of some good old memories. But it was time to face the present, the reality.

„Here we are" Lucas said.

Brooke simply nodded, and remained silent. They sat next to each other, looking at each other. It was dark, but he could still see her. Street light was reflecting itself in her eyes. He thought the same thing he had been thinking when she came through the door a few hours ago. She was beautiful.  
Brooke grabbed her purse, suddenly she had to get out of the car, somehow the whole situation felt awkward. „Thank's for the ride." She said. She leaned forward, and kissed him softly on the cheek. She leaned a little bit back, facing him. Their faces remained very close. She felt how his hand got up her back, to her head, where he began to stroke her hair. His eyes were shining. And then he leaned forward, his lips came closer to hers, until his lips crashed on hers. Brooke reacted only after a few seconds, pushing him away from her. Lucas looked at her, confused. Brooke shake slowley her head, opening the door of the car and got out in a hurry, running around the car, to her door.  
„Brooke!" Lucas screamed after her. He got out of the car aswell, catching her up in the driveway.

„I'm sorry..."

„Yeah you better be. What do you think this is? Am I some sort of comfort prize after a girl turns you down – again?" her voice got louder.

Lucas looked at her in disbelief. „You can't honestly think that Brooke. This is not about Peyton or Lindsay."

„Then what am I suppose to think Lucas? That we're just having fun, and fooling around?"

„I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I just got sort of carried away."

„You can't keep doing this Lucas. This has got to stop. Maybe you're just still a little confused about Peyton or..."

„This is not about her Brooke" he cut her off.

„Then how come you haven't talked to her? I mean really talked to her? You keep avoiding the subject and you keep avoiding her. And I can't be part of this game. I won't be."

She turned around and walked to her door, opening it and then she was gone.  
Lucas was still standing there. Shaking his head, he couldn't understand what got into him. How could he be so stupid? Of course kissing her would drive her away after everything he had put her through. He wasn't even blaming her, of course she would think that he was just fooling around. He saw the hurt in her eyes again in front of him. She really seemed upset. He thought about going after her, knocking on her door, trying to explain himself. But the truth is, he wouldn't know what to say, because he still couldn't really explain what had happened. Somehow his heart took over, and without really realizing what got over him, there he was, kissing her. „Idiot" he said to himself. He walked back to his car, and got in. He put his head on the wheel. Then he looked at the closed door for a moment. Suddenly he knew what he had to do. Something he sould have done a long time ago.

Peyton was working late. Actually she wasn't really working. She was just in her office, listening to some new music she'd found online. Suddenly she heard footsteps coming in the direction of her door. There was a knock. „Come in!" She said. The door opened and Lucas was standing in her door. She hadn't seen him for some time now. He looked serious. She had a feeling that this wasn't going to be very pleasant.  
„Hi Lucas." She greeted him.

„Hi Peyton." He took a few steps in her direction, and stopped in front of her desk. „Listen, I wanted to apologize for the way i was talking to you the other day."

„It's okay, really..."

„No, it's not. I didn't mean to be unfair or rude Peyton. It's just, right now I can't be thinking about being with you... When I look at you, all I can see is anger."

„Anger?" she asked, her voice bearly audible.

He nodded. „I have so much anger against you inside of me. And I know you're not the one to blame, for my past screwed up relationships – it was not you who messed them up, it was me. Because i let you."

Peyton looked at him with tears in his eyes. „Luke, please don't say that."

„I'm not saying this to hurt you, I just want you to know how I feel and I want you to understand. I don't think I will ever be ready for us again."

„Luke, you don't mean that..."

„I do Peyton. I need closure on this chapter. And I think I owe it to you and our past to be honest with you, and tell you this face to face."

Peyton looked at him, upset. Not able to respond.

„But I'm praying that the day will come that my anger will fade away, and I will start seeing in you the girl that I used to care so truly about. Because that girl used to be a very good friend of mine..." He looked sternly at her. Then he turned and walked to the door.

„Lucas, please, let's talk about this..." Tears were shining in her eyes. He didn't turn to face her. He simply said: „I'm sorry Peyton. I told you everyhing I had to say." Then he was gone, out of the door, out of the building and out of Peyton's sight.

--

_TBC_

_I'd love to hear what you guys are thinking about the my newest chapter!_

_- Elisa  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_Here comes Chapter 5!_

--

When Brooke woke up the next morning she didn't feel much of anything.  
She raised her head, saw the rain pouring down outside and laid down again. She sighed. She closed her eyes, thinking about yesterday night. Couldn't it all have been a dream?  
But that kiss hasn't been a dream. It couldn't have been a dream. That kiss was so gently, so pure – she had forgotten how Lucas's lips matched hers so perfectly, she had forgotten about the butterflies in her stomach, and how her heart would begin to race. Even tough it did last just for a few seconds – it was definitely real. She sighed again. This could just not be happening.

After thinking about staying in bed all day, she finally got up and made herself ready. She was not going to let herself throw back in this game again – she had been over this one boy she once loved more than anything – and she decided to let things stay that way.  
When she came into the kitchen she met Peyton, sitting at the table, not facing her.

„Hey Peyton!" she greeted her.

„Hey" Peyton said back with a little voice.

Brooke realized immediately that something was wrong. She approached her friend, taking the seat next to her. „What's wrong?"  
Peyton looked at her. Her eyes were a little puffy, and she looked tired.

„Lucas. It's over." She told Brooke.

„What? What are you talking about?"

„He came by my office yesterday late at night, and told me that he's not going to come back to me."

Brookes blinked. „What? But, why? I mean, did he told you why?"

Peyton shrugged. „He just not going to. I mean, let's be honest it has been over for years now, we've been apart for such a long time. I just kept him and the idea of what we've been close to me."

„Yeah." Brooke rubbed her friend's back.

„So today is just like yesterday, or last week, or last year. And I just need to stop chasing something I can't have. He made himself very clear about that last night, believe me" Peyton smiled sadly at her friend.

Brooke felt an ache in her heart. She thought about what she had told Lucas before he left.

_'Then how come you haven't talked to her? I mean really talked to her? You keep avoiding the subject and you keep avoiding her. And I can't be part of this game. I won't be.'_

Was she the reason why Lucas went to see Peyton? She blinked and looked away.  
_‚You got to stop doing this'_ she told herself. She had to close this chapter for good. All the more when she saw her friend like that. She would never do that to Peyton – she wouldn't wish on anyone how she felt, finding out about the two of them sneaking around her back – twice.

„There are other things to focus on in my life. Like my record label and Mia..." She heard Peyton saying.

„Excactly. That's the right path." Brooke said with a sad look, squeezing Peyton's hand. Meaning it maybe a little bit for herself as well.

After Brooke had breakfast with Peyton went up again in her bedroom. After she had closed the door behind her, she let herself fall on her bed. She felt relieved, not having to put the brave face on. She felt horrible comforting Peyton, but at the same way feeling how Lucas was back again in her mind and maybe even her heart. She laid down on her bed, feeling something under the cover. She reached for it, and found Lucas's sweater. She put it against her chest, snuggling it, and couldn't help but noticed the smell again. This smell. His smell. She saw the yesterday's scene again in front of her. How his eyes were shining, looking straightly into hers. How the world seemed to have stopped for a moment. She closed her eyes, breathing his scent in once again.  
Then she opened her eyes again, getting back on her feet. It was time to wake up.

Lucas was standing in the gym, narrowing with his eyes the state championship title, thinking back of that day, where he had told Peyton that he wanted her next to him when all his dreams came true. He thought about how Brooke had told him that it was okay to go see her friend. And he never realized until now the look on her face. She seemed happy for him, having his dream come true, but at the same time sad. He wondered why he remembered that. In his memory he never noticed her sad expression. But now he saw it very clearly in front of him.  
The quote of his book came back to his mind, about that specific moment.  
He had written about Peyton but not one word about Brooke in that moment. But looking back now, all he could think about was Brooke in that moment of his dream coming true. He saw her so clearly in front of him, her smile, and the pride in her eyes when she looked at him. She was the first person to have congratulated him, to have hugged him. How could he have forgotten about her? And at the same time the memory of Peyton seemed to fade away – losing somehow its meaning.

"Where is your head at?" Nathan approached his brother from behind, his sneakers squealed on the floor.

"State champion ship" He pointed in the direction of the trophy.

"Yeah, that was a great moment. I mean, besides Haley getting hit by a car and you and your heart attack." They both smiled bitterly.

"It was still a big moment. I mean, without the aftermath" Lucas said.

"Thinking about Peyton again now?" Nathan asked carefully.

"What? No, why would you think that?" he asked with an irritated voice.

"Well, if I remember correctly, that's where you guys kissed, right?"

"That's right." Lucas confirmed. Going back to that moment again. Still, he didn't feel what he used to feel, like when he did write his book.

"So then you are thinking about Peyton again?" He asked again.

"No Nathan. I'm not. I wasn't. I actually told her last night that I don't want to be with her."

"Really?"

Lucas nodded. "I just had to be honest with her. Lately I feel like I don't even know her anymore. And even worse: I don't know the guy anymore who used to be in love with her."

Nathan took a step closer to his brother.  
"So then what were you thinking about?"

Lucas turned his head, facing his brother. He smiled slightly, before pronouncing the girl's name which had been on his mind for the last days, and especially since yesterday night. "Brooke."

Nathan smiled back. "So then you finally made up your mind?"

"Maybe." He wasn't ready for this kind of question. He didn't want to share this with anybody. He felt like he had to deal with this on his own.

"Well if this 'maybe' is about to get to a 'sure' then you should do something about it." He took the ball from Lucas's hands. "Because you know, it's getting kind of obvious." He smiled and tried a shot.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Lucas asked in surprise.

"Nothing, I just noticed. That's all."

It was getting dark when Brooke went outside, going for a walk.  
She knew where she had to go.  
She knew what she had to do.  
With one hand she held the umbrella, which protected her from the hard rain. With the other one she held Lucas's sweater close to her. She could have taken the car, but she preferred walking. She had to clear her head, and hoped for all this thoughts to disappear, to leave her alone. She already succeeded to make them go away before, by focusing on her work, by moving on. Then she found herself in front of his backdoor, the one to his room. She remembered seeing the door red once – when he had offered her his room. Now it was black. Sometimes she wished the red door would still be there. She remained standing there, looking at his door. But eventually she made her way up to his porch. She closed her umbrella, facing the door again.  
She knew what she had to do.  
Just when she lifted her hand to knock she heard a voice behind her.  
„Brooke?"  
She jumped a little as she realized who was standing behind her. She turned around and found Lucas, standing behind her on the porch of his house. She saw his car parked in the driveway. She hadn't heard him arriving.

„Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He told her.

„It's fine.. Hi." She said with a shy smile.

„Hi." He said back to her, returning her smile. His hair was wet from the rain. Some raindrops were dropping down to the floor. They looked at each other in silent, while the rain was still pouring down.

"I brought back your sweater" she said and broke the silence. She handed him the sweater. He grabbed for it, thanking her.

"Do you wanna come in? It's getting kind of cold out here." He shivered a bit, running his fingers trough his wet hair. She hesitated for a moment, holding on tight to the umbrella in her right hand. She shrugged and finally said: "Yeah, okay."  
He walked around her and opened the door, and let her enter his room.

Shortly after, Brooke was sitting on his bed, looking around in his room with big eyes. It had been a while since she last was here alone with him. Then Lucas entered his room again, trying to dry his hair with a towel. She got up on her feet, standing in front of him.

"Brooke, about yesterday…" began Lucas, but Brooke interrupted him immediately: "How about we don't talk about that?"

"How about we do?" He suggested, insisting. "I went to see Peyton last night, and I told her…"

"I know. I saw her this morning." She said and looked down.

"Oh okay." He nodded. "You were right, Brooke. When you told me that I was avoiding the whole subject." She looked back up to him, meeting his eyes. "But I was planning on telling her that for some time now – yesterday seemed like the right time. And I want you to know that it had nothing to do with you or with our kiss…"

"Let's just forget about that, okay? I mean, we both had some wine, you weren't thinking straight, and I overreacted."

He looked at her, not knowing what to answer.  
Should he tell her what he had been feeling lately? That she's been on his mind like every second? Should he tell her about the urge to kiss her again in that very moment? To run his fingers through her hair, feeling her soft skin against his, and breathing in her sweet perfume?

"After all it was just a kiss, right?" She looked at him with big eyes.

He still hesitated, looking into her eyes, searching for a right answer. She seemed cold and distant, he realized that she wasn't going to let her guard down. Not today.  
He heard himself whispering "Right", lying about what he had really felt when he had kissed her, hiding his awakening feelings towards her. He had no choice, he wouldn't want her to run away from him again. He needed her close to him, he had to explore those feeling a little more, before telling her about it.

"Good." She said, feeling relieved hearing him saying this, but at the same time she felt an ache in her heart. At some point, she wished for him to change all this, to step forward and confirm what she had felt for the past days and weeks when they looked in each other's eyes. To tell her that he was feeling the same she was. That they would figure it out, and overcome all the obstacles, as long as they were together. And that nothing else would matter.  
But he remained silent. They both let this sink in.

"Okay then, I think I'm gonna head home. I just wanted to bring you that sweater back." She grabbed her umbrella.

"Or you could stay." He suggested. She looked at him in surprise.  
"I was going to make some pastas, you are welcomed to stay. And besides, it's still pouring."

Brooke looked out of the window, watching the rain fall. Her head was telling her to go home, to get out of here, that she needed to escape the temptation. But her heart was yearning for his presence, his smile, and their conversations. She faced him again, and decided to follow her instinct and finally said: "Yeah, why not?"

Later, she was sitting in his kitchen, watching him cook, and singing along with the song they played on the radio. She couldn't help but smile. She felt happy being around him, which was exactly what worried her. That was the moment where her head took over. What was she doing? Didn't she decide to hide out, and not let him in again? That was the perfect way doing it, _congratulations Brooke_ she said to herself. But seeing him like that, made her heart melt even more. She wasn't able to fight the urge she felt in her heart to be near him. Besides, it was pointless to avoid him, they have been friends for so long.

At the same time her phone was ringing. It was in her purse, in Lucas's room, where she had left it. On the display was Peyton's number. But of course she didn't hear it, so it was left unanswered.

Back in the kitchen, Brooke and Lucas were sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying their meal. There was some music in the background, coming from the radio.

"Luke – that's delicious!"

"Where did you learn that? I don't remember you being the perfect cook. Actually it was quite the opposite, right?" She started laughing and Lucas laughed along.

"True, but hey, I had my mom, and you know how good she can cook."  
Brooke nodded. She remembered the diner she's had with her and Lucas, back when they lived together. "So, there was no need for me to stand in the kitchen back then" he added.

"Lucas Scott – if that writer career doesn't work out, you can start as a cook. Who would have thought?"

"Well, people can change Brooke." He looked at her with his blue eyes, and she could see that he really meant it. She remained silent for a beat, letting this sink in.

"Yeah, I guess sometimes they do."

Lucas was relieved that the tension from before was gone, and they could talk and laugh with each other without hard feelings. He enjoyed her company, happy that she had accepted his invitation, and that he had managed not to drive her away again.  
After they had some dessert, and did the dishes, Brooke said: "It's getting late, I should go home." Luke nodded, following her out of the kitchen, back into his room, to get her bag and her umbrella.  
"So, thanks again for this delicious diner. I think I ate far too much, but it was worth it." She smiled at him.

"I'm glad you liked it."

She grabbed her bag and the umbrella, and they walked to the door, where Lucas opened the door for her. There was a wind gust, and they both stepped a step back. It was still pouring down, and it seemed like a big storm was coming up.  
"You sure you wanna walk home in this bad weather?" He asked her. She looked at him, and then back again outside. He felt that she couldn't decide what to do.  
"Come on, there's no way you're getting out there right now." He guided her back into his room. "I'm sure it will pass soon." He closed the door again.  
She looked out of the window with an annoyed glance. "Stupid storm" she mumbled.  
"Now what?" She sat down on his bed throwing her hands in disbelief in the air.

"I'd say we stay put." He suggested.

She didn't answer.

"Come on, am I such a bad company?"

She started to smile. "Of course not. Would I be hanging around here the whole evening if that's the case?"

He returned her smile.

"I'm just so tired" she confessed. "I was really looking forward to my bed." She moaned.

"Then feel free to crash on my bed." He offered. She gazed at him with a very questionable look.

"I'll take the floor of course. Or the couch." He added with an innocent smile on his lips. "I really don't mind."

She still seemed unsure for a moment, but finally her expression relaxed a little.  
"Wait here, I have an idea, I'll be right back" he said, and left the room, leaving her no chance to say anything at all.

Just about when Brooke decided to check where Lucas was, he came back into his room, with two cups in his hands. "How about some hot chocolate?"

Later they were sitting on his bed together, drinking the hot chocolate, while outside the heavy storm didn't seem to pass over. The rain was pattering against the windows, accompanying Brandi Carlile's second album, which Lucas had put on.

"Remember the last time we had to stay put, due to a heavy storm?" Brooke's gaze went to the window, and then back to Lucas. They look at each other in silent. After a beat, Lucas slightly nodded.  
"Yeah, I do."

"I was cooking for you, just like you did for me tonight. With the slight difference that we actually ate your diner. Mine burned in the oven." She smiled bitterly, remembering that night.

"I'm sure it would have been delicious", Lucas tried to take her mind off those memories. It had been the night they were arguing in the rain, about Peyton. Their first real fight, and were all her true emotions and insecurities had bursted out. But eventually they had made up in the rain, ended up in each other's arms, falling asleep next to each other, after being separated for such a long time. Even tough it had turned out to be a wonderful night, looking back today, after everything that had happened in the meantime, he realized how much it must've hurt her.  
She remained silent and took another sip from her cup.

"Besides, afterwards there wasn't much time to sit down and eat, regarding we were busy in your room - with something even better than diner." Lucas grinned and Brooke hit him softly, but grinned back, grateful for his effort to light up the mood.

She took the last sip from her hot chocolate, and put the cup on the bed stand. She got up on her feet and went to the window, to check on the weather.

"I'm afraid it still doesn't look very… pleasant." Lucas said from his bed, trying to get a glance at the weather outside.

"Yeah, I think so." She walked back to his bed and laid herself on his bed, her face turned in his direction to face him.

He was about to get on his feet, when he heard Brooke say: "Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna make the couch ready" he said.

"Don't be silly Luke. We slept in the same bed before."

That's when he outstretched himself carefully beside her, remembering how this was always how it used to be. Her on the right side, and he took the left side. He never knew why, but it was just the way they always used to spend their nights.

"Do you still hate it to fall asleep alone?" He asked her, turning his face and body towards her.

She nodded with a smile on her face. "I don't think that will ever go away."  
He smiled back.

"I could fall asleep right now..." she mumbled in her raspy voice, already sounding sleepy. She closed her eyes, listening to the words of Brandi Carlile.

_And I wish I could lay down beside you__  
__When the day is done__  
__And wake up to your face against the morning sun__  
__But like everything I've ever known__  
__You'll disappear someday__  
__So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away _

Lucas kept looking at her, laying next to her. There was a gap, but he could still hear her breathing, and smell her perfume. He was just laying there, watching her falling asleep, while he heard the rain still pouring down.  
„Then go ahead" he whispered. She didn't respond, she had already fallen asleep. He reached for the light switch, and switched out the light. He rested his head on his pillow, facing Brooke again. A smile came across his face. He was happy, having her here with him. He felt the urge to place his hand on her cheek, only to touch her for a few seconds, feel her soft skin – to make him feel alive. But he resisted the temptation, he wouldn't want to wake her, or drive her away, like he had the other night. He thought again about what they had talked about, that memorable storm night. He remembered seeing her standing in front of him, so upset, so insecure about his past with Peyton. He knew he had hurt her more than he could ever imagine in the past – he couldn't bear seeing her like that again, he wouldn't rush things this time.

He was surrounded by the sound of the raindrops falling down on his porch and pattering on the windows, and the last notes of Brandi Carlile's song

_My mind wanders through all that I've been hiding from__  
__I tried not to let you down__  
__Now I wonder if I've been doin' something wrong__  
__Help me get my feet back on the ground_  
_  
__Someday we might learn to tell the truth__  
__We might even find the fountains of our youth__  
__We all needed something real we all need proof__  
__I just want to be closer to you__  
__I only want to be closer to you_

He felt how his eyes got heavier by the minute. But he forced himself to stay awake, he didn't want to fall asleep, he wanted to stay awake, just to look at her. From time to time there was a lightning, which illuminated his room for a few seconds. In those seconds he could see her face even clearer.  
One last thought kept going through his mind before he fell asleep, unable to fight his tiredness: What if this pretty girl, sleeping only a few inches away from him – was indeed his destiny?

--

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks to everyone out there who took the time to review my story!_

_Here is another update - enjoy :)_

When dawn was breaking over Tree Hill, the rain had stopped pouring down, and there were no thunders and no lightings around

When dawn was breaking over Tree Hill, the rain had stopped pouring down, and there were no thunders and no lightings around. The storm was over – a sudden peace was floating in the air.

There was also peace in a house in Tree Hill, there were two people lying next to each other. Sleeping. Peacefully sleeping. Their bodies were lying towards each other, only a few inches apart.

When Lucas woke up for the first time, he blinked a few times before he could actually see what was in front of him, but what his heart has been seeing for the longest time –  
There she was. The morning light framed her pretty face perfectly. She was sleeping, breathing in and out equally. Her hair was falling into her face, while her hand was lying next to her pillow.  
He glanced one last time at the perfect image, memorized every single piece of it, and fell asleep again.

The next time he woke up, he found his bed empty. He blinked, stretched out a hand, and placed it on the cover where she laid a few hours ago. He blinked again, feeling sad for not having her with him anymore. He sat up in his bed, and looked around. She was gone.

Brooke opened quietly her front door. It was still early in the morning, and she felt like she had to be quiet, not waking anybody. She put her umbrella down, and went up the stairs, to her room. When she reached the hallway she suddenly heard a "Good morning" behind her. She spined around in surprise and found Peyton standing behind her. "Hi!" She said, and tried her best to force a smile and hide her surprise.

"You're busted Brooke" Peyton said in a serious voice, looking at her sternly.

Brooke's expression froze and she felt her whole body stiffened. "Excuse me?"

"You're busted. You thought I wouldn't notice, right?"

"Peyton, I can explain…" Brooke started, but Peyton cut her off immediately.

"Oh there is no need to. I'm pretty sure I know where you were last night."

"You do?" Brooke raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah, where you always are when you come home late – at work" Peyton said, and walked a few steps in direction of the bathroom.

Brooke breathed a sigh of relief and whispered quietly: "Right…"

"I tried calling you several times", Peyton told Brooke.

„You did?" Brooke opened her purse and grabed her phone. „Yeah sorry, I must have missed it. Are you okay?"

„Not really. I really needed you last night. But somehow I fell asleep, I didn't even hear you come home... Anyway, I'm gonna take a shower." Peyton closed the bath room door, leaving her friend alone in the hallway.

„So, let me get this straight man", Nathan poured Lucas a cup of coffee, who was sitting at the bar in his kitchen. „You spent the night with Brooke?"

„Well not literally, I already told you, there was this storm, and we just slept in the same bed." Lucas explained.

„Mhm", Nathan said.

„What? Believe me, your Mhms are the last thing I need right now."

„Sorry. So nothing happened between you two?" Nathan grinned at his brother.

„No." Lucas said, not really convincing. Nathan raised his eyesbrows, giving Lucas a questionable look. „But I kind of kissed her the other night..."

„You did what?" Nathan said, raising his voice. „Why are you only telling me this now?"

„I don't know. It just kind of happened. I don't really have an explanation, but there I was, kissing her."

„And..?"

„Well, she panicked and pushed me away – which, I know, was kind of to be expected, regarding our history."

Nathan nodded in agreement. „What are you going to do?"

„I'm not sure yet. When she came by yesterday she told me that she wanted to forget about the kiss, that it meant nothing. And I kind of agreed – but the truth is, all I did was watching her sleep last night – and I just couldn't take my eyes off her..." The image of this pretty girl, sleeping in front of him was rushing trough his mind. „What if it did mean something? What if it does mean something?"

„Then maybe you should tell her that." Nathan suggested. But Lucas shook his head.

„Believe me, if I would do that, I would chase her completely away."

„Yeah, but you can't run from this either Luke."

Lucas glanced at his brother, taking a sip from his coffee. He knew that he was right, but he had no idea how he could possibly just be her friend after he realized that his feelings for her were reawaking in his heart. How could he show her his true feelings without chasing her away?

„Morning brother in law" Haley greeted Lucas. „You are here early."

„Hey, you guys have the best coffee in town!" He smiled at Haley, while she poured herself a cup of coffee.

Around noon Brooke went into her store. It was Sunday, and the store was officially closed, but she had to distract herself. She needed to do something. She had spent almost the whole morning listening to Peyton, who clearly had a hard time letting Lucas go. And she felt guilty about not telling her the truth, where she had been the last night. Not that there was something to tell, because she had made herself very clear that there was nothing going on. But still, her thoughts kept drifting away to the moment she had woken up this morning. She remembered opening her eyes and seeing him lying close to her. Not too close, but close enough for her to breathing his scent in. Close enough for her heart to melt by just looking at him. But she had to get out of there. She had woken up, and it was time to face reality again. She thought about waking him, but she had decided to let him sleep, she wouldn't want that moment to be ruined. So she took her things, and left his house quietly.  
Suddenly she heard a knock. She looked up in surprise and found Mouth standing in front of her door. She got up, and opened. „Hey stanger!" They hugged.

„I'm sorry, I know, I haven't really checked in with you lately."

„It's okay Mouth. I've been pretty busy as well. What are you doing here?" She walked back to her desk.

„Well I was getting some breakfast for me and Milli, as I saw you in the store. What are you doing here? It's Sunday."

„And? Sunday is just like any other day." She grabed a dress, looking at it and wrote something down.  
He simply gave her a look, and tried to get through to her. She noticed and looked up, facing him.

"You want to hear the truth? I'm just keeping myself busy."

"Why?" he asked and sat down on the chair in front of her.

"I have… I just have some stuff going on. Some stuff I don't really want to deal with. I'd rather keep it buried. So I come to work instead."

"Well that doesn't sound healthy…" He raised his eyebrows. "I don't know if you remember, but I am a good listener. So come on, talk to me. What's going on?"

She looked at him, and put her pen down. "Okay. So, where should I start? Ehm, how about this morning. I woke up in Lucas's bed."

"What?" he asked, raising his voice in surprise.

"It wasn't like that. We were just sleeping."

"Okay… Then why do I get the feeling that there is more to it than just the sleeping part?"

"Because there is", she replied, almost whispering. "I've been spending a lot of time with Lucas lately. And I don't know, but somehow I feel like I'm awaking. I haven't felt like that in such a long time… I mean, when I'm with him, I just feel good about myself…"

"Brooke Davis - you're about to fall for him again, aren't you?" Mouth smiled at her.

"No Mouth, I'm not." She said, focusing again on the dress in front of her.

"I think it would be great Brooke." Mouth leaned forward.

"How could this be great Mouth? No, it's just not happening."

"Well if you ask me, it's already happening. You should see your face when you talk about him." He smiled, but his expression froze when she glanced angrily at him. "Sorry" he apologized. "But why are you so freaked out about this? What is so bad about this?"

"Let me think - how about everything?" She threw her hands up in the air, and leaned back in her chair. "I mean, my best friend is still heartbroken, he just got dumped by his fiancé at his very own wedding, he cheated on me - twice and I…" She blinked, looking at him again. "I finally found peace with this whole screwed up story Mouth. I moved on, I'm over him" she said, nodding her head in agreement to herself.

"Yeah I can see that – just keeping yourself busy, right?"

They exchange a look, and Mouth saw the sad expression in her eyes.

"This just won't be happening Mouth. It just can't. End of story."  
Suddenly Brooke's phone rang. She grabbed it and answered. "Hello?"

"Hi Brooke, it's Haley."

"Oh hey. What's up?"

"I'm just calling to ask when we could expect you tonight."

"Tonight?" Brooke's head was spinning, did she forget something?

"Yeah, diner at our house. Some burgers from the grill, remember?"

Brooke remained silent for a moment, thinking. "Oh yes, of course!" she finally said.

"You forgot didn't you? Brooke, I reminded you Friday night, before we got out of the car. The whole gang is coming over, and Jamie is so exciting to grill some burgers, especially the one for his godmother Brooke…"

"No Haley, it's fine, of course I'll be there. Around six?" She suggested.

"Perfect! See you later, bye!"

"Bye Haley." Brooke hung up, facing Mouth again who looked at her in a questionable look.

"See? This whole thing is so confusing, that I even forgot that this thing was tonight. You're coming too, right?"

"I can't, Milli's parents invited us. They are in town, so we're going to have diner with them."

"Oh really? Getting serious, hm?" She grinned at him.

"Yes, I think so. And I'm very happy about it." He grinned widely back at her.

"Good for you Mouth. Good for you."

"I'm sorry though, you're on this on your own tonight." He got up and Brooke realized what she got herself into. The gang – so they are all going to sit at one table. And by all she meant her, Peyton and Lucas. She sighed.

"I probably should head back, Milli is waiting for her breakfast." Mouth said, and walked to the door. Before he left, he turned around to face her once more. "Brooke – you can't avoid this forever. Deal with it."  
She nodded, taking this in.

_You can do this Brooke._

She was sitting in her car, driving, while Peyton was sitting next to her. She was talking about the record label, and from time to time, she changed the subject to Lucas, asking if he's going to be there. Every time his name was pronounced she froze. But she kept looking on the street in front of her, hoping that they would never arrive, and that she could run far far away from this. But eventually they arrived at Nathan and Haley's house. She parked her car in the driveway, and they got out of the car, approaching the front door. Peyton rang the bell, while Brooke was standing behind her.

_You can do this Brooke._

The door opened and Brooke saw Nathan standing there, greeting them. He hugged Peyton, and let her walk in the house. Brooke stepped forward, and hugged Nathan as well.  
"Hey Nate", she greeted him back.

"I'm glad you decided to come Brooke. Jamie is already waiting for you by the grill."

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world" she said, trying her best to smile.  
She stepped in, and was hugged by Haley who was just coming out of the kitchen. They exchanged a few words, and then Brooke went outside. "Hey Jamie, ready to grill some burgers?" As she stepped in the backyard Jamie was already running in her direction. She picked him up and hugged him. "Finally you're here Aunt Brooke! Uncle Lucas and I were just about to start..", he said.  
She looked around and spotted him immediately. He was standing next to the grill, holding the tongs in one hand, and in the other one he was holding the burgers. She kept on holding Jamie, but was lost in his blue eyes for a moment. He looked straightly back into hers.  
Peyton and Skillz were sitting at the table, watching the scene in silence.

Shortly after they were all sitting around a table in the backyard, having diner. Brooke was sitting next to Peyton, and Haley, while the guys were sitting on the other side. Lucas was right across from Brooke, which had happened not really on purpose. But there she was, sitting right across from him, facing him the whole evening.

Fortunately there was Jamie, who was lightening up the mood with his sweet comments.

"Sweetie, those burgers are delicious!" Haley told him.

"Thanks Mamma. I had some help from the best godparents in the world!" He smiled at Lucas and Brooke, who shared a smile as well.

"I'm just gonna get some more wine", Lucas said, and got up, carrying the empty wine bottle in the kitchen. Haley got up too, following him.

"Hey Luke, Iisten, I'm sorry if things are a little awkward, I invited her a long time ago, you know, before this all happened."

He faced her, knitting his eyebrows. Did Nathan tell her something?  
"What are you talking about Hales?"

"Peyton."

He shook his head. "It's fine Hales. I don't have a problem having her here. I clarified the situation once and for all."

"Oh okay. Well then maybe she's still having a hard time letting go, maybe that's why there's this weird tension in the air."

Lucas shrugged his shoulders. He felt bad for not thinking of Peyton at all, how it must be for her to sit with him on a table, but the truth was, all he could look at was Brooke. She looked amazing. When she started to laugh about a joke, he couldn't help but smile as well. He tried his best to avoid her from time to time, especially when he noticed his brother's look, but he couldn't resist the temptation to look at her, and wanting to be close to her again.

Nathan joined them in the kitchen and got some more bread. Haley kissed him briefly and went outside again. Nathan looked at him with a grin on his face.

"Just shut up, okay?" Lucas took a new bottle of wine out of the fridge.

Nathan held up his hands in defence. "I didn't say anything man!"

They grinned at each other briefly. Lucas went outside again, and frowned as he saw Haley and Peyton talking by the pool. He sat down next to Skillz and opened the new bottle of wine. "Some more wine, Brooke?" He offered.

"No thanks, I'm trying to cut down a little", she replied. He raised his eyebrows, surprised by her answer and remembering her words  
_"Let's just forget about that, okay? I mean, we both had some wine, you weren't thinking straight, and I overreacted."_

By the pool Haley approached Peyton.  
"Hey there. You're okay?"

Peyton turned around and smiled. "Yeah."

"Listen, I wanted to apologize for the other day – I was pretty hard on you, and I was a little out of line. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Haley. Really. I know you were concerned about Lucas. But you know, maybe that's exactly what I needed… And besides, I wasn't exactly nice to you either after you came back from your tour" she admitted.

Haley nodded her head, remembering Peyton's comments. "Anyway, I think it's great that you're here tonight, and that we're all able to sit together and spend some time together. It means a lot to Jamie as well."

Peyton nodded. "Yeah, it is nice. Still awkward" she smiled bitterly, "but nice."

"So, we're good?" Haley asked.

"Aww, come here!" She pulled Haley into a hug and guided her back to the table.

"...Well then there's more for me!" Lucas said with ostentation and poured himself a glass of wine.

"Hey, save one for me too. I'll be right back." Skillz said and went inside, leaving Brooke and Lucas alone.

"Are you aware of the fact that I could feel very offended?

She looked at him in confusion. "Because I don't want to drink wine with you?"

"No, because you left me this morning without saying a word – guess it must not have been very good then?" He whispered. She grinned, and he smiled back.

"I'm sorry, I meant to call you. Thanks again for letting me crash" she said with a hushed voice and looked around as if she was scanning the garden.

"Are you okay? You seem a little tense" he asked her.

"I'm fine" she replied, almost whispering.

"Listen, I get that this is a little weird, but…"

"Luke, it's fine" she cut him off, glaring at him, just about when Haley and Peyton came back. They looked up to the two girls who shared a questionable look. "You don't need to stop talking just because of me" said Peyton and sat down next to Brooke. She looked at her friend, offering her a half smile. Haley sat down next to Lucas, asking him to pour her a glass of wine as well.

"I think it's bedtime for someone!" Nathan stepped in the backyard, chasing after Jamie who was running around, clearly not ready to call it a night. Eventually he grabbed him and picked him up.

"Come on, say goodnight, and then I'll bring you to bed." Haley said, and took Jamie into her arms. Nathan placed a soft kiss on his wife's cheek.

Jamie waved at everyone. "Goodnight! And thanks again Aunt Brooke and Uncle Lucas!"

They all waved back and wished him a goodnight too. After Haley and Jamie were gone, Peyton turned to Brooke and said "Isn't he lucky, that his godmother took the time" Peyton said. "Usually, she likes spending her nights in her store working. Just like yesterday." She winked in Brooke's direction, whose expression froze. She forced a little smile, and avoided Lucas's eyes by looking down. While the others changed the subject and were discussing loudly, Brooke lifted her head and find Lucas staring at her.

Darkness had come at nightfall. There were only some candles on the table to lend some light. But it was enough for Brooke to see a certain sadness in Lucas's eyes. She returned his look, but was unable to read him. He just looked at her and wasn't participating at the discussion as well. The voices of their friends seemed to fade away more and more and all they could see were each other. Everything around them seemed to turn black. Only the flames of the candles were reflecting in each other's eyes. She could drown in that look of his.

"Excuse me" Brooke got up, and left the table. Lucas followed her with his eyes until she was out of his sight. He sighed barely audible. While the others continued discussing, Nathan and Lucas were sharing a look. Nathan pointed towards the house, signalising his brother to go after her. Lucas rose following his instincts, and mumbled something about that he's going to be right back, leaving Peyton, Skillz and Nathan. After he was gone, Nathan picked up the bottle of wine. "Who wants some more wine?"

"Brooke please wait!" Lucas ran after her, caught her up in the driveway, and grabbed her, turning her towards him. Her face was in pain, she clearly was upset and confused.

"What do you want Lucas?"

"I just want to talk to you." He let her arm go.

"About what? What is there to say?" her voice got a little bit louder.

"There is about a million things I'd like to say to you Brooke…" He looked deeply into her eyes.

"Just stop Lucas. Please just stop" she pleaded throwing her hands in the air. "Didn't we agree on this? Nothing is happening between us."

"Then how come you lied to Peyton about where you spent the night?" he said, raising his voice as well. "If there really was nothing going on between us, then why lie to her?"

She was taken aback, "I don't know, okay?" She said, blinking her upcoming tears away.

"I think you do Brooke. I know this is all very confusing, but we need to talk about this. We need to talk about that kiss…"

"I already told you: That kiss didn't mean anything…" she whispered.

He stepped a step closer to her, and grabbed her arms, pulling her towards him.  
"A kiss always means something, Brooke. Remember?" he said back, in a soft voice.

She didn't answer, she just looked at him, not able to think or feel anything at all. There he was, standing in front of her, keeping her back from running again. Their faces remained close to each other, their lips were only a few inches apart. He could feel her breathing.  
And then there it was. A kiss so tender. A kiss so long anticipated.  
His lips crashed on hers. Simply following her heart, she returned his kiss. Feeling his soft lips on hers made her forget everything around them. He pulled her even closer, taking her into his arms, offering her and her sweet kiss his embrace.

Eventually their kiss ended, leaving them both breathing heavily. Lucas opened his eyes, and stared right into Brooke's big eyes. He could swear that for a moment she had been there with him.  
But suddenly she broke away from him. "What are we doing?"

"Brooke…" He tried to touch her cheek, but she had already stepped back.

"No, Luke, we can't..." her voice was cracking up in her upcoming tears. "Just stay away from he." She turned and ran to her car.

"Brooke, please, you can't just leave like that!" he yelled after her.

But she was already in her car, and started the engine.  
He followed her and stopped in front of her car, putting his hands on it. He formed with his lips the word "Please".

She simply shook her head, and drove backwards, leaving him standing there watching her drive away.

_TBC_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hello everyone..._

_First of all: Thanks to all of you who posted reviews and contacted me! I'm glad you seem to like this fic as much as I like writing it :) _

_So here comes chapter 7! I will upload chapter 8 later, so there is a huge update coming your way :)_

_It's a huge update because I won't be able to post anything new for the next too weekes (going to Ireland - can't wait)_

_But I'll be back, for sure with some great new ideas!_

_- Elisa_

--

Luke spent a long moment in the driveway

Luke spent a long moment in the driveway. He looked in the direction where she had left a while ago. He was still praying for her to come back, to run back to him, to be here with him. But she wasn't and she wasn't going to. He closed his eyes, and ran his fingers trough his hair.

Then he made his way back to Nathan and Haley's house. He opened the door, and went back in. He hadn't noticed Haley, standing at the upper window from Jamie's bedroom, gazing out and looking worried.

"Hey, have you seen Brooke?" asked Peyton, as he stepped in the backyard. She was still sitting next to Skillz at the table, across Nathan, who was looking at him with raised eyebrows. Lucas hid his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, she left."

"She left? She left with the car? Without saying anything?" Peyton looked worried.

Lucas just looked at her, unable to answer her question at this moment.

"I can give you a ride home if you want" offered Skillz, as he got up.

"Thanks, I'd like that." She accepted and got up as well. Skillz walked over to Nathan and said goodbye.

"Luke, are you coming too?"

"No, I think I'm gonna walk."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Okay then" Skillz turned and left. Peyton glanced one last time at Lucas she left as well. He didn't return her look, he kept looking in the other direction, and seemed miles away. He sighed.

"What happened?" Nathan asked him as soon as the others were gone.

Lucas simply shook his head. "I don't really know. I'm afraid I made things just worse." He took his jacket. "I'm gonna take off as well. Say goodnight to Haley for me, okay?"

Nathan nodded. "Sure." He watched his brother leave trough their backyard and then he was gone. Nathan shook his head, mumbling "what a night" to himself as he started to clean up the table.  
In that moment Haley stepped outside, meeting her husband.

"Hey you…" Haley walked over to him, and Nathan put his arms around her.

"Is Jamie in bed?" He asked her.

"Yeah…" She answered. She returned his hug, leaning even closer against his chest.

"Is everything okay?" Nathan rubbed her back softly.  
Haley just nodded, and remained silent.

While Haley and Nathan were sharing some time alone, Lucas was walking home through the streets of Tree Hill. He couldn't get the image of Brooke's reaction after their kiss out of his head. He remembered to have opened his eyes and noticed something in her eyes. There was this sparkle. And it was almost like she was about to smile. And for once she wasn't running, she wasn't hiding, she had let down her guards for the slightest moment. And in that moment he had seen the real Brooke for the very first time in a long time. Not the tough woman she had become in the last couple of years, but the pretty girl from his past. His pretty girl.

As soon as Peyton got home she called for Brooke. She ran upstairs and knocked on her door. "Brooke?" she called again, but didn't receive an answer. She tried to open the door, but found it locked. "Brooke, hey, it's me. Open up!" She knocked on the door again.  
Finally she heard the door unlocking. She opened the door, stepped into her room, and just saw Brooke laying back down on her bed again. Her room was dark, only the light of the full moon was shining through her blinds.

"What happened? You could've said something before just leaving without me!" Peyton stood in the middle of Brooke's room, trying to find out what had happened.

"I'm sorry" Brooke finally said, her voice sounded weak and tired.

"Well what happened? Are you okay?" Peyton stepped closer to Brooke's bed.

"Yeah - I'm just... I'm just having this terrible migraine headache." Truth was, she wasn't even lying. She felt like her head was going to explode. There was so much going on in her head, she couldn't stop her thoughts from racing, she couldn't stop the images from rushing trough her mind.

"Oh, okay…" Peyton sat down on her bed. "Hey, you didn't happen to talk to Lucas, right? I mean you guys were all weird during diner, and then he disappeared just after you took off – I mean, did he maybe say anything about me?"

Brooke felt terrible to hear her asking her that, terrible for hearing the naïve and innocent tone in her voice. But most of all she felt terrible about not being able to be completely honest with her best friend. She turned her body towards the window, away from Peyton.

"No, he didn't. Sorry…" At least that wasn't a lie.

"Not one single word?" Peyton asked, obviously seeking for some more details.

Brooke shook her head. "Peyton, I'd really like to get some rest. Do you mind leaving me alone?"

"No, no of course not." She got up, and left Brooke's room again.  
After Brooke heard the door closing, she tuned around and ran her fingers trough her hair.  
She saw his face again. His eyes, how they were staring into hers. How his fingers were caressing softly her cheek. She closed her eyes and reliving that kiss again. How she returned his passionate kiss, and let herself drown in his sweet embrace. She felt tears forming in her eyes.  
How on earth could this be happening again?

"It must be a curse."

Lucas turned around in surprise, and found Haley, standing behind him meeting his eyes. He had come early in the morning to the rivercourt, to play some basketball and do some thinking, and some healing.

"Excuse me?" he asked her.

"It must be a curse." She repeated. "I'm always the one who's catching you, kissing a girl who you shouldn't."

He frowned, not answering. She walked over to him.

"I saw you Luke. When I brought Jamie to bed yesterday, I saw the two of you in my driveway, arguing and kissing." She stopped as she stood in front of him.

"Listen Hales…" he tried to explain but was cut off by her. "What do you think you're doing, Luke?"

He looked at her, and suddenly forgot what he was about to say. Every explanation he had prepared somehow vanished.

"You can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" he snapped at her.

"Going around and kissing girls without really thinking about the consequences. We're not kids anymore Luke. I mean, is this about Peyton? Or Lindsay?"

"This isn't about Lindsay or Peyton."

"You're sure about that? Or are you just hiding and scared to facing your true feelings?"

"No, that's not it. You still don't get it, do you?"

"Well then explain it to me!" She folded her arms while Lucas turned around and tried a shot. He missed it.  
"Have you once thought about Brooke?" Haley asked him. His expression immediately got stern. "Because while you were all in love with Peyton towards the end of our senior year - I've been spending a lot of time with Brooke. I've been the one she's been talking to." She stopped, looked down and shook her head for a moment. He turned, and faced her again. She looked up to him.  
"She was crushed Luke" her voice had softened. "So please, just try to use your head for once!"  
With that said she turned and walked of the rivercourt. Lucas turned, and looked angry. He tried another shot, but missed again.

"Hello? Anybody home?" Haley got home shortly after she had left the rivercourt. Nathan came out of the kitchen. "Hey there." He placed a kiss on her lips. "You've been up early. Where have you been all morning?"

"At the rivercourt. Trying to talk some sense into Lucas" she answered, and let herself fall on the couch.

"Is he okay?" Nathan asked.

Haley shrugged. "I'm not sure." Nathan sat down next to her. Haley looked at him, and then she said: "You knew about it all along didn't you?"

"I just noticed that's all. And yes, I've talked with Lucas about it. But I already told you that in the club, remember?"

"Yeah, now that you're mentioning it, I do", Haley admitted. "Aw, this is all so screwed up. I was hoping that everything would go back to normal. That this drama would be over, and everybody could be friends with everybody and we could all hang out as a group – like we used to. But I'm afraid that things are going to get really ugly."

"Why would you think that?"

"I saw them yesterday. Kissing", Haley told her husband.

"What? Are you serious?" Nathan raised his eyebrows. Haley nodded.  
"Well, maybe this isn't that bad. You need to stop worrying so much. And besides, what if they truly found each other for good this time?"

Haley didn't answer, just let this sink in.

It had been the third time. The third time Lucas had tried to call Brooke. But just like the other two times she didn't answer. He was sitting in his room, in front of his laptop, trying to do some writing but he couldn't type one single word. All he could think about was her. He looked at his cell, considering calling her a fourth time. He just needed to talk to her.  
_"Just stay away from me"_ - her words were resounded again in his mind. The way she had said it. Her voice was on the edge of cracking up and she was clearly fighting back her tears. He didn't want this. He just wanted to be honest with her. He couldn't pretend anymore.  
He grabbed his phone and dialled her number again. He couldn't stay away. He simply couldn't.

"Hey Haley" Peyton greeted her friend who had knocked on the door of Brooke's house.

"Hi Peyton. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Do you want to come in?" Peyton stepped back and let Haley enter.  
"What can I do for you?"

"Actually I'm here to see Brooke. Is she home?"

"Yeah she is, but I'm afraid she's not doing so well, I think she might be down with the flu."

"Oh. I didn't mean to disturb, but I'm going to check on her anyway, okay?"

"Yeah, sure go ahead. I was going to the record label anyways." She grabbed her jacket and the girls said goodbye. Haley made her way up to Brooke's room and knocked on her bedroom's door.  
"Brooke? It's me, Haley."

"Come in" Brooke's voice resounded from inside the room. Haley opened the door and stepped in. Brooke was laying in her bed, under the covers. Her eyes looked puffy.

"Hi sweetie. Peyton told me you're not feeling good?" She walked over to her bed, sitting down next to her.

"No, not really. Probably the flu. I'm sure it will pass soon." Her voice sounded even more raspy than usual. Suddenly Brooke's phone rang. Brooke grabbed it and looked for a second on the display. Then she turned it off.

Haley watched her. "Flu called Lucas?" she said in a soft voice.

Brooke's expression froze. "What did he tell you?"

Haley grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "He didn't have to, I saw the two of you yesterday in the driveway."

Brooked nodded. Taking this in. "Peyton can't ever know Haley."

"You're worried about Peyton right now? Are you serious? The next thing you're telling me that the kiss didn't mean anything to you." Haley looked at her with raised eyebrows. Brooke smiled bitterly.  
"I know what I saw Brooke, that was definitely something."

Brooke looked at her with big eyes, still not responding.

"I'm not here to judge Brooke. I'm just here to make sure that you're okay."

Brooke nodded, blinking her tears away. "You know what? Actually I'm not." She looked down, and tears were streaming down her cheek. "But we're not going to do this, okay? I won't even start with telling you how he has been in my head again. I won't tell you how confused I am right now, and how I can't get that kiss out of my head, how feeling his skin and warmth make me yearn for his presence…" Brooke's voice cracked up under her tears. Haley squeezed her hand even tighter. "We are not going to this okay?" Brooke repeated.

Haley was moved to tears as she saw her friend struggling like that. She leaned over and pulled her into a hug, offering her some comfort.

Peyton had spent the whole day in her office, working. As she was closing the door of her record label she spotted Skillz at the bar, having a drink. She walked over to him. "Hey there. Is this seat taken?"

Skillz shook his head. "Please, I'd be happy to have some company."  
Peyton smiled, sat down and ordered a drink.  
"So how was your day Sawyer?"

"Okay I guess. I might have found a really cool band."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I really love their stuff. We'll see. What are you doing here anyway?"

"Enjoying a drink and the club. We used to hang here a lot, remember, in high school?"

Peyton nodded in silent.

"Those were the days, huh?" he added, taking a sip from his drink. "So how are you doing? Still struggling with the whole Lucas issue?"

He turned and faced her. The bar tender served Peyton her drink. She thanked him and then faced Skillz as well. "It will take a while, but it's getting better by the day." She took a sip from her drink. "My head already knows that it is over. It's just my heart that needs some time to heal." She paused and listened to the song that was playing in the background. "Besides it's not all bad, you know? I mean, I have this amazing opportunity here, I'm living my dream. Music has always been such a big part of my life. It was the one thing that I never lost over the years. And I feel very blessed to give something back, to the world, and to the music itself – so that this music could be heard, and that everyone could dream along with me. And I get to do this everyday. That's something nobody can take from me."

"I'll drink to that!" Skillz raised his glass to Peyton. She smiled and raised her glass as well. "Cheers!"

Lucas sat in his coaching office in high school. Practice was over, and he had been sitting over his notes for some time now, but he couldn't really focus on his players. He checked his phone again. No new message. No word from her. He buried his face behind his hands and sighed. Then he got up, took his jacket, turned off the light and went home.

Brooke was still in bed. She didn't get up all day, she didn't feel good enough to go to work and face everyone. She stayed in bed instead, under the cover, hiding from the real world and tried her best to sort out her feelings. She kept telling herself that she had to stop, stop thinking about him, stop letting him confuse her, stop kissing him. But every time she went back to last night, all her good intentions vanished – her head was completely blanked out, all she could feel was her heart racing. She could feel it race in that moment, as she was looking out of the window, watching the rain pour down, thinking about the last time she had listen to the rain like that. She turned her body to the side. And as she closed her eyes, still listening to the rain, he was right there, resting beside her.

"Knock knock!" Lucas looked up in surprise to find Haley standing in his bedroom door. He put down the book he was reading in his chair and faced her again. She had a remorseful expression on her face. She walked up to his bed, and sat down.

"I'm sorry I was so harsh to you this morning. You didn't need a lecture – you needed a friend. I'm sorry Luke."

"It's okay Hales" He got up and walked over to her.

"Sometimes I do need a lecture you know…" He grinned at her and sat down next to her. "You know, I get why you reacted this way. I can't really explain it either. None of it. I can't even start to try to put into words how I'm feeling right now. I can't tell you what has happened or why I'm feeling this way again about her. Have I just been lying myself about the way I'm feeling about her all those years? And why is this all coming back to me now? Why now, why not sooner? And is this yearning I have inside of me for real? Real enough risk hurting her again? Those are question I've asked myself a million times, Hales."

"Well have you tried talking to her about it?" she suggested, but already knew the answer to her question, as the image of Brooke from this afternoon came back into her mind.

"She won't pick up the phone. She doesn't want to see me."

"That is kind of understandable Luke. Imagine how confusing that must be for her…"

"I know, I know Hales. But you think I'm not confused?" He got up and walked over to the window. "I just wish she would talk to me."

There was a beat of silence.  
"I'm sorry I have been so busy, and that I didn't notice what was going on with you" Haley said.

"Don't be. I know you had a lot going on these last weeks. Besides, you're here now. And it feels good to talk about it." He sat down again next to her and put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his chest.

"You asked me this morning if I ever think about her, about what I've put her through…"  
Haley nodded.  
"Truth is I think about her all the time Hales. All the time…" he admitted almost in a whisper.

She broke apart from his embrace, facing him again. "So then what it is between the two of you?"

Lucas looked straightly into her eyes, and Haley simply returned his look. Then he finally said:  
"It might be everything."

--

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

_Here is the second part of the update - chapter 8!_

_And in case you wonder - the songs featured in this chapter are:  
"with me" Sum41  
"Telescope" Graham Colton  
"See you, see me" Magic numbers_

_Enjoy!_

--

The sun was rising when Lucas arrived at Brooke's house

The sun was rising when Lucas arrived at Brooke's house.  
He hadn't slept much last night. His thoughts had kept turning around Brooke who obviously refused to pick up the phone. And after Haley had left he went through some old stuff of his. Some letters, some old e-mails and some old pictures. He had noticed that on almost every picture he was laughing and smiling – next to Brooke. He did not only remember her very clearly, he also remembered the guy he used to be. A happy guy. She had brought something very rare and very special to his life. And these last weeks he had felt it coming back bit by bit. It took him some time to realize who he had to thank for that. And he wasn't ready to let that go. That's when he had decided to go see her first thing in the morning. He simply had to try to talk to her.  
And now there he was. Standing in front of her door suddenly feeling a little insecure. He took a deep breath and knocked on her door.

The door opened a moment later and then he saw Peyton, who looked slightly surprised.  
"Good morning Peyton", he said.

"Hi Luke" she said, almost a little shy.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure, sorry…" She stepped out of the way and let him enter. "It's just... I didn't expect you, that's all."

"Yeah, I know, it's still a little early, sorry. I didn't wake you, did I?"

She shook her head. "I've got an early meeting with a band I might sign."

"That's great Peyton" he said sincerely.

She nodded. "So, what are you doing here Luke? I'm sure you didn't just come over to chat with me."

"No, I'm not" he paused. "I'm here to see Brooke" he added.

"Oh… I see another visit for our patient. Well, I'm not sure if she's already up."

Lucas frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"So I guess that's not why you're here." She folded her arms. "She's down with the flu. Go ahead." She waved towards the stairs and walked by him, to get her bag and her keys. Lucas stepped forward, but turned once more. "It will pass Peyton."

"Excuse me?" she said, turning around to face him as well.

"This awkwardness between us. And everything else..."

She nodded and looked down. Then he turned around again and went up the stairs.

"Brooke?" Lucas knocked on her bedroom door. "Are you awake?" he kept his voice quiet, but he was sure that she could hear him anyway. "It's me. Open up."  
There was a moment of silence, giving him the chance to listen carefully if she would respond. After a beat he knocked again. "Brooke!" he said once again. Suddenly he heard a noise behind the door, telling him that she was indeed in the room and awake. "I know you're in there. Please, open the door." Silence. He waited for a moment. He supported his arm on her door, looked down and swallowed hard. "Open the door, please Brooke" he begged.

_I don't want this moment, to ever end,__  
__Where everything's nothing, without you.__  
__I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile,__  
__Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.__  
_

On the other side Brooke had gotten out of her bed. She was wearing a black top, and a pair of trousers of her tracksuit. Her hair was falling loosely in her face, and her eyes were still a bit puffy. She stepped unsurely closer to the door.

"Obviously you're avoiding me, but I need to talk to you." She heard him saying. His voice sounded tired. "Open up!" He tried to open the door, but it was locked. He formed a fist in despair. He took a step back from the door.  
"I know you told me to stay away from you, but I just couldn't. I didn't make it through one single day." He confessed, chuckling bitterly. Then he looked around the hallway.

_Through it all, I made my mistakes.__  
__I stumble and fall,__  
__But I mean these words._

"If you're worrying about Peyton, she's already gone. It's just you and me Brooke." He assured her. He stepped closer again and placed his palm on her door. "Just you and me" he repeated in a whisper.

She remained silent. Still standing in the centre of her room, unable to decide what she was suppose to do. Should she open up? Should she let him in? Was she already strong enough to resist the temptation to rush right into his arms?

_Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.__  
__And pieces of memories fall to the ground._

"I know I ambushed you – again – with that kiss. I didn't mean to make this any more confusing. And I'd like to tell you that I'm sorry, but that would be a lie. Because I am not sorry. Not even a little bit. Because in that moment it felt right, and I know, I know you were there with me… I know it…" His voice ended in a whisper.  
Suddenly he felt a little stupid talking to a closed door. He closed his eyes, imagining Brooke behind the door, hoping he could get through to her.  
_  
__I know what I did and so, I won't let this go.__  
__Cause it's true, I am nothing without you._

Brooke stepped a few step closer to the door. She was standing right in front of the door. Tears were streaming down her cheek. She wasn't even trying to hold them back. Her head was telling her to stay put, not to move, and not to breathe. But her heart was calling his name, touched by his words, pushing her to open the door. She put her hand on the doorknob for a second. Then she pulled away again, staring at the closed door. She felt her whole body shivering while the sunlight was shining through her blinds, illuminating the room.

_In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,__  
__When you don't know what you're looking to find.__  
__In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,__  
__When you just never know what you will find._

"Please Brooke, just talk to me…" she heard him saying. "It did mean something. It wasn't "just" a kiss for me Brooke. I don't think that even exists. Not with you…" he said in a soft voice, while his eyes were shining, having her pictured in his mind.  
"I feel that something is happening here. I feel it when I see that light in your eyes, when you're looking into mine. I feel it when we talk, or just sit in silence. I feel it when you're sleeping next to me. I feel it when I touch your skin, and your lips capture mine…" He put his head on the door, his palms resting beside his head. "It's the beginning of something very special. I can feel that. I want to be part of that. I won't let this go, do you hear me?"  
_  
__I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.__  
__These words are my heart and soul_

She turned her back on the door, resting her body against it, and glided slowly down, letting herself fall to the floor, still crying.

Lucas heard a soft sob, coming from below. He sat down on the floor, putting his ear closer to the door. "Just say that you're okay Brooke" he begged.

"Just go Luke" she whispered, more to herself than to him. But he had heard her anyway.

_All the streets, where I walked alone,__  
__With nowhere to go.__  
__Have come to an end._

"I won't go anywhere."

"It's for the best, believe me" she said. Her voice sounded teary and weak.

"For the best..? Oh Brooke, the best thing I might have in my life, is sitting right behind this damn door."

"God why are you saying all those things Luke?" she said in that quiet, little voice of hers.

"Because it's the truth. It's my truth."

I hold on to this moment you know.  
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

"You have no right to say them, even if they are true – not after everything you've put me through." she answered after a beat.

There was a moment of silent. Brooke closed her eyes, her face full of tears.  
They both remained on one side of the door, sitting on the floor, leaning with their backs against the door. They were close, they could actually hear the other breathe, but still, there was this giant wall between them, so many obstacles, which they couldn't seem to overcome.

"Honey, we're home!" Nathan walked through their house door, followed by Jamie. They found Haley sitting with her guitar in the living room. She looked absent, lost in her thoughts. But when they stepped closer, she faced them eventually.  
"Hey, there they are my boys!" She greeted them, Jamie jumped on the couch, and gave his mother a peck on her cheek. Haley smiled and took him into her arms. "How was the training?"

"Good!" Jamie told her with big eyes.

"Exhausting", Nathan stated. He leaned forward and kissed his wife.  
"And salty!" She laughed as she wiped off traces of his sweat on her lips. Nathan smiled. "Yeah. I'm gonna take a shower." He disappeared and left the two of them alone.

"What are you doing Momma?" He asked her.

"Not much, honey. I'm just playing some guitar, trying out some new melodies and lyrics."

"Do you have a new song?"

"No, not yet."

"Well, what's it about? Is it about daddy?"

Haley smiled. "I guess somewhere it's always about the ones you love, sweetie."

Millicent had just sold a dress to a customer, as Mouth and Skillz stepped into the cloths over bro's store.

"Hey Milli" he greeted his girlfriend and kissed her briefly.

"Hi there. That's sweet of you to stop by."

"Actually I came to check on Brooke – I mean, besides seeing you of course" he smiled innocently.

"And I'm just here because Mouth's here" Skillz added with a grin.

Millie smiled back. "No worries. But Brooke is at home, she's not feeling very well."

Mouth looked worried. "Why, did something happen?"

"Yeah, I guess the flu" She smiled again, and Mouth was just about to answer, when somebody stepped into the store. Millicent greeted the new customer friendly, asking him if she could be of any help.

"Actually I'm not here to buy anything, I was just wondering, if there was a chance that Brooke Davis was showing up here today?"

Mouth and Skillz turned in surprise, they both seemed to have recognized the voice immediately. Mouths's eyes widened, as he saw Chase standing in front of him.

"Hey guys!" He stepped forward and they all shook hands.

"Hi Chase! What a surprise!" Mouth said.

"Man, back in town again?" Skillz asked.

They were interrupted as Peyton rushed into the store. "Hey guys, I have great news!" She had a huge smile on her face. "I have a new band! I just signed them a few minutes ago!"

"Peyton, that's great! I'm happy for you girl!" Skillz congratulated her.

"Well, here is the best part: They are playing a concert tonight at tric. So you all need to come, I want a full house!"

They all agreed to come immediately.  
That's when Peyton noticed Chase. "Hey Chase, what are you doing here?"

"I'm just stopping by."

"Well then stop by tonight. You should come too."

He nodded. "Yeah sure. Thanks."

"Okay guys, gotta run, there is so much left to do." Before she left she turned around again. "Oh, would you mind telling everyone else? You know, spread the word. Oh, and I got to tell Brooke!" She smiled again and run out of the store.

"Hey coach!" Nathan approached Lucas from behind, who was standing near the sideline of the gym, watching the ravens practise.

"Hi" he greeted back.

"You look tired man" Nathan said.

"That's probably because I am." Lucas kept his eyes on his players.

"How are things with Brooke? Got a chance to talk to her?"

His eyes softened. Then he shrugged. "Yes and no. Let's just say I was literally talking to a brick wall."

Nathan put his hands on his shoulder. "Sorry man. Maybe you get another chance to talk to her tonight?"

That's when Lucas turned, and faced his brother. "What are you talking about?"

"That's why I stopped by. I got a call from Mouth, there is this concert at Tric tonight. Apparently the brand new band of Peyton's label."

"I don't think I'll be in the mood for a club night."

"It's a concert Luke. And everyone is going to be there. And maybe you want to consider that Brooke is might going as well."

"And? She's not going to talk to me anyway."

"Come on Luke. That's not the brother I know. You got to put yourself out there!"

Lucas rested his eyes again on the boys practicing.  
"Just think about it, okay?" Nathan said and then he left again.

"Peyton, I already told you, I'm not feeling good. I shouldn't be out tonight" pouted Brooke as they got out the car. Peyton took her arm and guided her towards the entrance of tric. "Come on B.Davis, this is my big night. And this may be exactly what you need. I even got a little surprise for you."

"You do?" Brooke's voice sounded immediately in a better temper.

Peyton nodded. "I know you B. Davis. You've been bumped for some time now, and don't think I haven't noticed. But guess what, he's not worth it."

Brooke's body froze. She stopped walking and faced her friend. "What do you mean?"

"Owen. I'm talking about Owen. I know he hasn't really stayed in touch, but like I said, forget about him – cloths over bro's right?" She smiled at Brooke, but she couldn't really return it. She looked at her, unable to think about what she should answer first.

"I knew that wasn't going to help much" Peyton chuckled. "Good thing I got the real surprise in there." She grabbed Brooke's arm again and passed the other people, who were queuing. Brooke let Peyton drag her in, and seconds later they were standing inside the club.

"Over there, that's the surprise" she pointed towards Chase, standing near the stage. Brooke's expression froze, as she spotted him. He had seen them as well. He smiled at Brooke. She forced a little smile, and waved towards his direction.  
"What is this Peyton? Did you arrange this?" she whispered, as she saw him moving towards them.

"I bumped into him this morning. You can thank me later."

"No, Peyton…" Brooke wanted to object, but was forced to shut up, as Chase suddenly stood in front of them. Peyton greeted him briefly. "I'm afraid I have to leave you guys, I'm going to see if the band's ready." She squeezed Brooke's hand, raised her eyebrows in her direction and left them alone.

"Hi Chase" she forced again a smile.

"Hey Brooke. You look good."

Brooked looked down on her tight black jeans, and the simple red top she was wearing. "Thanks" she finally said.

In the same moment Lucas stepped into the club, along with Haley and Nathan. While they were talking about leaving Jamie alone with the new nanny for the first time, Lucas spotted Brooke immediately. His heart jumped for a brief moment. He felt happy to see her, and that she would actually leave her room, even if she might had to meet him. That was a progress. But as soon as he saw who she was talking with, he felt his stomach turn and his heart stopped. While he was narrowing the two of them, he felt how his pulse quickened.

_Up here alone in this room __  
__Watching you coming into view__  
__Off the distance__  
__Where I want you to stay_

Brooke hadn't seen him at first. She focused on Chase, she was glad to see him after all. But it still felt weird, considering Peyton kind of arranged it. But eventually she had to follow her heart, because it was screaming at her, to look in the direction where he was standing.

_Can't get you out of my mind__  
__I'm tired of passing the time__  
__I've got your picture and all I can do__  
__Is try to look away_

But before she could actually see him, she turned herself towards Chase again.  
They exchanged a few words and he made a joke, which made her laugh

_It's easier when you're far away__  
__You disappear in the crowd_

Lucas was watching her from across the room. Her beautiful smile, how her eyes were shining and how he could tell, that he heard a note of her raspy voice.

_I scream but don't make a sound__  
__I never know when you might come back again__  
__So close but don't let me in_

"Is that Chase?" Haley asked, walking up next to Lucas.  
Lucas didn't respond and walked over to Sillz, who was standing by a bar table.

While Chase was telling her about his college years, Brooke was scanning the room, the room got more crowded by the minute. And then she saw him. He was standing in the back of the hall, narrowing her with his blue eyes.

_It's easy to stay where you feel safe__  
__You don't wanna get too close_

For a minute she felt like she couldn't breathe, and she got lost in that intense look he gave her. Eventually she could break away from that moment and looked at Chase again.  
"Brooke?" he looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah?" she answered in surprise.

"Do you want to drink something?" He asked, obviously repeating his question.

"Yes, please. A glass of white wine?" She suggested. He nodded and told her he would be back.  
After catching sight of Lucas again, she turned around and took a deep breath. And then she told herself something she had been telling herself over and over during the past days: You can do this Brooke.

"Hey you two" Peyton showed up next to Nathan and Haley. "Glad to see that the word has gotten around." The girls hugged. "Thanks for letting us know" Nathan said.

"Well it's my pleasure. I know it was a bit last minute, but it all came so sudden" she explained.

"That's totally cool. Hey, did you see that Chase is here?" Haley asked her pointing over to him, standing at the bar and ordering his drinks.

Peyton turned shortly to look at him. "Yeah, I bumped into him this morning at the cloths over bro's store. I invited him." Peyton turned and looked for Brooke. She found her near the stage, joined by Chase who gave her a glass of white wine. "Brooke is surely happy to see him again" Peyton pointed in their direction. Haley followed the hint. "Who knows, maybe they'll find each other again" Peyton added.

Haley looked worried, but just nodded in silence.  
"Okay, I got to introduce the band Haley James. See you in a bit."

Haley watched Peyton walking away, noticed how she looked in Lucas's direction, who was standing at a bar table at the other end of the room. Then she looked over to Brooke and Chase again. She sighed. Then she suddenly felt a hand on her waist. She looked up and saw her husband and told him: "See? That is when things get really ugly."

Lucas tried his best to follow the conversation he was having with Skillz. They were talking about their basketball team. Or maybe Skillz was only talking, he pretended to listen, but in reality he couldn't take his eyes off Brooke and Chase. Every now and then he threw a "Mhm" in.

_So close but don't let me in__  
__You still get under my skin_

Every smile, every laughter from her made his heart hurt. Chase clearly was flirting with her. And he didn't like what he was witnessing. "I need a drink" he said and went over to the bar, leaving Skillz by himself.

"So I know this was suppose to be a regular club night, but we have a little surprise for you guys…" As Peyton was introducing the band, Lucas ordered his drink at the bar.  
"Hey, do you really think this is going to help much?" Nathan asked him with a hushed voice.  
"Right now: Yes, I do" Lucas answered.

As Peyton left the stage, the crowed began clapping, to welcome the band.  
Haley stood by herself in the crowd, as she was watching the band getting on stage. They were four guys, all playing their instrument. They started to play, and she immediately liked their sound. A mix of rock and sing/songwriting. She was impressed by the guitar player.  
"And, what do you think?" Haley turned and found Peyton next to her.

"They are really good, Peyton" she said highly impressed. "I wonder who will bring their first record out!" She smiled and Peyton smiled back. "No seriously Peyton. I think you did great. With all of it." Her expression got more serious and Peyton faced her.

"Thanks Haley. That means a lot. And not just because of the fact that you have some experience in the music business" Haley rolled her eyes, playing it down. "But because it's coming from a friend" Peyton added. She put an arm around Haley shoulders and after they smiled at each other, their gazes wandered back to the stage.

"They are good" Chase said to Brooke, after the band had played a few songs.

"Yeah, they really are." Brooke enjoyed the band, and forgot for a moment all her worries and hard feelings.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Chase's question caught her by surprise. She turned to him, only to feel Lucas's eyes resting on her again. Her eyes wandered in his direction as well. Then she slightly shook her head.  
"I'm gonna get another glass of wine" she said.  
Chase took the glass out of her hand. "Why don't you let me take care of that?"

Nathan joined his wife and Peyton. "You did good Peyton" he told her. She thanked him.  
Nathan put his arms around Haley from behind, she leaned back to rest her head on his chest.

"Hey Lucas!" Chase greeted him, as he got up next to him at the Bar. Lucas greeted back, trying his best to hide his true feelings. Deep inside him he felt the urge to punch the guy in the face. Even tough he has always been a decent guy to everyone.  
After they had exchanged a few words, Lucas said: "So, I see you're here with Brooke…"

Chase looked at him slightly irritated. Something in Lucas voice revealed that he wasn't pleased about it.

"No not really. But she told me she isn't seeing anyone, so I'd say you never know what's gonna come your way, right?"

Chase smiled and looked over to Brooke, and winked in her direction. Lucas felt how his pulse was racing up again. He took another sip from his drink. Chase was about to leave again when Lucas yelled after him, trying to drown the music of the band. "Hey didn't you kiss Peyton the last time I saw you?"

Chase looked at him, even more irritated. "Hey, didn't you watch us jealous as hell, while you were about to marry someone else?" Then he turned and walked away. Lucas followed him with his eyes, watching him jealously how he was walking back to Brooke – and he was the one sitting at the bar all by himself.

"Good evening everybody. Are you all having a good time?" The lead singer was addressing the crowd as Chase gave Brooke her glass of white wine. Everyone was cheering and clapping in agreement. The rest of the band had already left the stage. "The next song is a very special song." He was sitting by himself on a chair on stage, holding his acoustic guitar. "Actually it's not one of our songs, unfortunately, it's a song by the magic numbers, and it's called "I see you, you see me. Enjoy!"

The crowd clapped once more.  
While he began to play the song, Millie and Mouth walked into the club. They were holding hands and smiled happily at each other. As soon as Brooke spotted them, she waved to them, signalising them to come over to join her and Chase. Mouth walked over to them, dragging Millie with him. They all greeted each other and they talked about the band.

"I'm going to get us some drinks Millie, okay?" Mouth suggested. She agreed with a smile.

"I'm going to come with you Mouth" Brooke said, as she took Mouths arm, leaving the two of them alone. As soon as they were a few steps away Mouth said: "What are you doing over there with Chase? Considering Lucas is across the room…"

"It's complicated. Peyton kind of arranged the date with Chase. And Lucas…" She stopped as they arrived at the bar. "You know what? It's not complicated at all. Lucas and I are just friends."

"Friends?" he asked her with raised eyebrows.

She nodded in agreement.

Mouth looked over to Lucas who was talking to Skillz. Then he shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy Brooke."

Lucas found himself staring at Brooke once again. He just couldn't take his eyes off her. In the background he listened to the lyrics of the song.

_"You always looked like you had something else on your mind__  
__When I try to tell you, you tell me "nevermind"__  
__But darling when I see you, you see me__  
__I wanna tell you that I never loved anyone else__  
__You wanna tell me that you're better off by yourself__  
__But darling when I see you, you see me_

While Mouth ordered his drinks, Brooke turned and watched the singer on stage again.

_I never wanted to love you, but that's okay__  
__I always knew that you'd leave me anyway__  
__But darling when I see you, you see me_

And then she caught his eyes again. She couldn't control it. She noticed Peyton joining their table. While she mostly talked to Skillz, he kept staring at her. There she was, staring back into his eyes, unable to move.

_I never thought that you wanted for me to stay__  
__So I left you with the girls that came your way__  
__And darling when I see you I see me_

Their eyes seemed to meet automatically.  
"Friends with some serious eye sex going on?" she heard Mouth saying. She faced him again, caught by surprise. He offered her a little smile, which she returned slightly at first, but then her stern expression took over again.

Shortly after they joined Chase and Millie again. They all stood next to each other, enjoying the song.  
While Brooke tried to concentrate on what was happening on stage she felt his eyes resting on her. He stood across the room, but she could tell that he was looking at her. She looked down, trying to avoid the intense situation.

_I never thought that I could feel there's something__  
__Rising, rising in my veins__  
__And it looks like I feel there's something__  
__Rising, rising in my veins__  
__Looks like it's happened again_

Their eyes met again, and this time he was smiling slightly at her. She couldn't help but smile back.

_This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do__  
__This is not what I'm like, I think I'm falling for you_

As the song was ending, and Haley approached Lucas. "Hey buddy. Hanging in there?"

He turned to face her. "More or less. I don't really have a choice here."

"I hate to be the one to break this to you, but just watching her the whole night won't make it any better."

He nodded and chuckled bitterly. "I know Hales. But I tried - she won't talk to me." He shrugged. "Besides, she seemed to be busy with other things."

"Come on Luke, you know that there's nothing going on" she almost laughed. Then her eyes and voice softened. "Just be patient." She rubbed his back briefly and left him alone again.

As the band was announcing a little break, Brooke went to the bathrooms. When she got out of it a few minutes later, a hand grabbed her arms, pulling her into an obscured corner. She first got frightened a little, but relaxed when she looked into Lucas's eyes. "What are you doing?" She asked while she broke apart from his grip.

"I'm sorry for the circumstances but this situation demands radical measures" he explained.

"What situation?" She asked calmly.

"Enough okay?" he yelled out. His voice was louder than he expected.

Brooke looked around them, but they seemed to be all alone in the hallway. She faced him with her big eyes.

"You may be okay with hiding your heart and pretend that you and I aren't happening, but I'm not." He looked away for a moment and then he faced her again. "And I understand that you're afraid – of getting hurt again, of opening up to me again, and maybe even Peyton's reaction." He stepped a little closer to Brooke. Then she took her hand and put it to his heart. First she hesitated a little, but he pressed his hand onto hers. "Can you feel this? It's my heart racing. And I feel it every time I'm near you. Every time I look into your hazel eyes or I see that beautiful smile of yours. Every time I think about that kiss – and you can deny it all you want Brooke, but I know deep down you know what I'm saying is true." She looked up to him, still unsure. Tears were shining in her eyes. "I'm sure with my whole heart - this is happening Brooke."  
Brooke didn't know what to answer, she just stared into his eyes, blinking her tears away.  
He squeezed her hand a little and eventually let it go. She pulled it back slowly, and looked down for a beat. Before she could respond to any of it, he was already gone.

After the band played their last song, and the audience clapped for a long time, Nathan suggested to call it a night. Haley nodded. "Just let me first check on Lucas." She walked over to him. He was still standing in the back of the room, by the bar table, next to Skillz who was now talking to some girl. She followed his gaze, who was pointing to Chase and Brooke, who were talking to Peyton. "We are going to take off. Can we give you a lift?" she offered.

"I'll be out in a minute, okay?" he answered.  
She nodded and walked back to her husband again.  
Lucas took the last sip of his drink. He looked over once again to Brooke and Chase. He was helping her putting her jacket on. They seem to be leaving too. He saw her walking to the exit, and decided to try his luck to catch her before she could leave with Chase. He said goodbye to Sillz, and just when he was about to leave Peyton showed up in front of him.

"Hey Luke" she greeted. "Thanks for stopping by."

"Yeah sure" he said. "It was a good concert" he added. While he was looking for Brooke in the background Peyton kept talking. But he couldn't really follow. He was annoyed that he lost sight of Brooke. But then he saw here again, and felt even more annoyed when he noticed that Chase was by her side, and they were leaving together. "Peyton, I'm sorry, Nathan and Haley are waiting for me - I got to go" he interrupted her.

"Yeah, well, see you soon" she said, while he was already walking away. She shook her head and smiled bitterly in disbelief.

Brooke and Chase took the stairs down to the parking lots. "I had a great time, tonight, Brooke. It was almost like a few years ago" he confessed.

Brooke looked at him with a sad smile. "Chase, I want to be honest with you. And I'm telling you this because you've always been such a nice and decent guy." She paused for a moment as they reached the proper ground.  
"I lied to you. When you asked me if I was seeing someone."

"So then you are seeing someone… Are you back with Owen?"

"No" she shook her head. "I'm not actually seeing someone, it's just that… I gave my heart away a long time ago" she said, her voice even raspier in the end.

Chase nodded. "That is one happy guy. I hope he knows how lucky he is."

Brooke smiled gratefully at him.

"Well it was good seeing you again Brooke Davis" he added.

She smiled. They leaned into a hug, just as Lucas stepped out of tric. Chase placed a soft kiss on Brooke's cheek. He watched them from the stairs. He looked hurt and mad at the same time. He turned, run down the stairs and walked over to Nathan and Haley's car, which was parked behind the building.

"Can I give you a ride?" He offered.

She shook her head. "There's something I need to take care of." She stepped back and gave him a last little smile. She waved to him and then she turned. Chase watched her walking away for a moment. Eventually he got in his car and drove away.

--

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

_So, here comes another update!_

_First of all: Thank you so much for all your kind reviews. I'm back from my vacation, and I was so glad to read all your positive reviews and your messages. Thanks to each and every one of you._

_We reached an important point in this story. I've been thinking about this moment for the longest time, so I hope you're happy about this chapter as much as I am. But there is more to tell, so don't go anywhere :-)_

_Enjoy!_

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Suddenly there was change in the air.

Brooke felt it inside of her, how everything was turning upside down for good. She didn't know exactly why, and why now, but she felt that she had to be honest to herself. She felt tired of blanking out all those hidden thoughts and feelings. She couldn't do it anymore. As she looked up, she found herself once again in the club. Her feet had carried her back again in the room, where she needed to see those blue eyes so desperately.

The club was already almost empty. She scanned the room, but couldn't find him, instead she spotted Mouth and Millie at the bar, talking and laughing.

"Hey guys. Have you seen Lucas?" She asked as she approached them.

They both turned towards her. "No, I guess he must have taken off" said Millie as she was looking around, looking for Lucas too.

Mouth sat behind Millie and gave her a warm smile and winked in her direction. Brooke tried to ignore him, and didn't notice Peyton showing up beside her.

"Hey Peyton. Did you see Lucas?" Millie asked her, trying to help Brooke.

"Yeah, he left with Nathan and Haley. Why?" Peyton asked.

Brooke looked alarmed. Before Millicent could answer, Mouth cut in, saying: "We were just looking for him."

"Well you just missed him. He left a few seconds after you and Chase." She turned to Brooke. Brooke swallowed and nodded. Suddenly she thought about that hug, and hoped Lucas hasn't been watching them, and hoped he hasn't understood the whole situation wrong.

"Speaking of, why are you back in here? And where is Chase?" Before Brooke could answer, Peyton added: "I told you, I need to take care of a few more things regarding. the band. So go on, enjoy the rest of the night B.Davis!" She smiled at her friend.

"I'm just here to give you the keys to the car." She placed the keys in Peyton's palm. Peyton thanked her and went backstage to meet the band. Brooke watched her walking away and turned again to face Mouth and Millicent. Mouth formed the word "go!" with his lips, and gave her an encouraging smile.

Brooke stepped out into the night and called a cab, considering she had a few drinks tonight, she couldn't be driving anyway. As soon as she was in the cab she grabbed her phone to call him. For a brief moment she thought about what she was doing. Was this the right thing to do? She felt how her head was overtaking. She turned her face towards the window watched the landscape of Tree Hill by night passing by. Her heart was screaming at her to dial his number. But she hadn't made the best experience in the past to listen to her heart. Too many times she was left alone, picking up the pieces and tried to move on. She took a deep breath and waited for silence in her mind. But all she could see was his eyes. All she could feel was his touch. And all she could hear was his name.

She finally dialled his number. Mailbox. She frowned. Then she dialled Haley's number. Haley informed her that they just dropped Lucas off at his house. Brooke thanked her.

After she arrived at his house, she paid the cab driver and got off the cab. She walked around his house and remained in front of his bedroom door. She took another deep breath. Then Haley's words came back to her mind, which she had told her before on the phone. "Be brave."

Lucas wandered around his room. He couldn't get the picture of Brooke and Chase out his head. How he tenderly kissed her cheek, and how she responded to his embrace. He felt angry at Peyton for keeping him back at the club, when he should have get a hold of her before she would leave with Chase. But most of all he felt angry at himself for not realizing sooner how he truly felt about Brooke. How could he have been so blind? How could he ever make her listen? He shook his head in disbelief how the evening had turned out. Suddenly he looked up, and remembered Haley's words at the club earlier. "Just be patient." He was going to be. But maybe he needed as well to accept the fact, that Brooke really left with Chase, and that maybe she wasn't returning his feelings. Maybe just too much had happened. He felt the urge to clear his head and decided to go to the rivercourt. He grabbed his keys and opened the door. His jaw dropped in surprise when he found her standing in his doorway.

For a moment they just looked at each other, neither of them seemed to be able to break the silence and break the moment they were sharing without even using words. Their eyes where shining at each other.

Eventually, Lucas broke the silence. "How long have you been standing here?" he asked, his voice mixed with a sweet undertone and still some uncertain jealously.

"A few minutes" she answered, shrugging her shoulders. "But I guess I have been standing in front of your door for the longest time. I just don't know how to enter." Her eyes seemed immediately sad.

"Sure you do. You always knew." He folded his arms and smiled slightly and genuinely.

"But you might as well use the doorbell or just knock. I heard it's very efficiency." He grinned at her, and she returned it slightly.

"But you know what's not? Flirting with other men in front of me." He pointed his finger at her and went back inside, letting his keys fall onto his desk. When he turned around he found Brooke still standing in his doorway.

"You know, you just could've said the word if you're not feeling the same way I do about you. I didn't need that little demonstration of you and Chase, thanks" his voice got louder. He didn't know where that was coming from, he just had to speak it out loud.

Brooke shook her head. "Okay, first of all, I didn't ask Chase to come…" she entered his room with a few quick steps.

"Whatever Brooke…" He made a hand gesture and sat down on his bed.

"And secondly" she insisted, "I'm sorry I avoided you. And I'm sorry for acting so childish" she confessed while she sat down next to him.

He looked at her in surprise, he didn't expect her to say that. His expression softened. "You're here now" he said, almost in a whisper.

She simply nodded, biting her lower lip.

"I meant what I said, Brooke." He put his hand onto hers. "About us" he paused. "The way I'm feeling about you" he smiled slightly at her, bright-eyed, and hold her hand even tighter.

She nodded again and squeezed his hand back. "Your words touched me Luke, they really did."

They shared a look.

"Like they always do" she added. "But there is so much more to this, and you know it…"

He frowned, still holding on to her hand.

"Is this about Peyton?" he asked.

"In some parts, yes. She's my best friend, Luke. And she's still in love with you and not too long ago you loved her back."

He looked down, not able to argue the converse.

"And whatever this may be between us, I just can't do that do her. I know how it feels. And I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy…"

"She'll get over it" he said, trying to reassure her.

She simply looked at him, knowing how hard it was to get over the boy called Lucas Scott. She slightly shook her head. "What about you? Are you telling me you're already completely over her?"

He frowned. "Did you listen to anything I've been telling you the last days and weeks?" he paused, looking at her irritated. "How can you even ask me that?" His voice sounded louder than he intended to.

„I am now, and I will always be in love with Peyton Sawyer" she said, and he immediately realized that she was quoting his book.

"You wrote a book about how much you love her, Lucas!" She said calmly. She let go of his hand, got up and walked over to his window. "I read it" her voice got louder too, "the whole world has read it!" She turned around and faced him again. "Those were your words!"

„And i'm not dening it, ok?" he tried to explain, but she cut him off.

„What? That you'll always love her?" she snapped at him.

„No…" He said, trying to stay calm. "I am not gonna deny that I wrote these words, and when I was writing them I was truly in love with Peyton. Because I was. And even though Peyton and I aren't on the best terms lately, she will always be very special to me. I won't pretend she isn't."

„Then what the hell is this Lucas?" She threw her hands in the air and walked by him. After she stepped away from him she faced him again. "How can you seriously standing here in front of me, looking at me with the this same expression you've had when you told me all those things years ago – like you being the guy for me, you wanted to be with me, not with Peyton – all those tings clearly never meant anything to you. So how do you want me to believe that they mean something now?"

Lucas looked away. He could feel she was still hurting.

„Because those words meant the world to me…" She paused briefly. "You meant the world to me..." Her voice was on the edge of cracking.

He looked at her, her face in pain. He was already running out of words. That was always his problem with her. Somehow, she managed it to make him speechless.

„So did you Brooke, and you still do…"

„Then why did you kiss her again on that day in the library? In that moment you weren't the guy for me, were you?" she said reproachful.

„No, I guess not" he mumbled. He could feel that she got more and more upset. He tried his best to keep her calm. "But for what it's worth – she kissed me. Kissing her in that moment was the last thing on my mind."

Brooke shook her head. „I feel like we are turning in circles, or worse, I feel like I'm back in high school!" She paced around the room.

„Well you're the one who's talking about the past" he stated. She glared angrily at him.

"But maybe it's important to speak those things out – you still seem pretty upset about everything."

She raised her eyebrows and looked away.

„Don't get me wrong Brooke, I think it was about time we speak those things out. And it is your right to be upset, I know I hurt you, and I don't want to make this any harder."

„Then don't, okay? I just can't take this anymore. You can't keep going like this. One year it's me, and then it's her again. My heart can't take this anymore Lucas..." Her voice cracked and he could see how her eyes were filled with tears.

„Then please believe me Brooke: My heart is with you."

„You already told me that once, remember?" Brooke was shaking her head in disbelief. „At the wedding of Nathan and Haley. And still, after a few months you were all over her!" she shouted towards the end.

„After you broke up with me for no reason and I tried everything to win you back!" his voice raised as well.

„That's so not the point!" She yelled back. The air in the room around Brooke and Lucas was tensed. They remained silent for a moment and simply looked at each other.

"Don't you see?" Brooke tried again. "I let you go, and you proved me right, you did exactly what you always denied during the entire time we were together – you just rushed right into her arms" Her expression remained disappointed. And this time, Luke's expression softened too. „Brooke..."

"And it's not just about Peyton, Luke" she cut him off. Somehow, she couldn't hear anymore excuses or explanations. "I told you some time ago that I want a baby. I want to have a family. I need somebody that I can count on, and that I can trust. I don't need somebody who's cheating on me, who's lying, who won't let me in… I don't want to be anyone's rebound-girl anymore. No more."

"That's not what you are for me, Brooke" he tried convincing her.

"How can you be so sure about that? What is suppose to be different today than the last two times you broke my heart into a million pieces?"

He looked at her face, noticing how she was fighting back her tears. He was looking for an answer to that question. He seemed too late, because she had already took a step back, and he could tell right in that moment, just from the look in her eyes, that he was about to loose her for good.

„I'm sorry Luke, but this is just crazy. God, what have I been thinking?" She turned around and walked to the door. "How could I even be considering any of this…"

"Brooke please, stop walking away from me!" He followed her, grabbed her arm, and forced her to look at him. She let him, and they faced each other again. He could see all sorts of things in her eyes. Anger, fear, disappointment – but most of all he felt like he was looking at the girl he once dated in high school. The one girl he had left behind – and in that moment he whished more than anything that he hadn't.

"I didn't ask for you to warm up our past, and bring up all those issues" she whispered.

"I'm not warming up anything here, okay Brooke? Because I know how terribly wrong things went back then. But I'm not that guy anymore. I don't want to live in the past, I want to live here in the present, I want to live right in this moment – and what matters even more – I want to live it with you."

He tried to get through to her, but he could see that she wasn't ready to let him in. She tried to escape his embrace and went once more to the door. He tried to hold on to her.

"Brooke…" he began.

"No Lucas – just let me go" she begged in a whisper, still blinking her tears away.

"Brooke, this won't be over when you're walking through this door" he said softly.

"I can't. It's just… I don't trust you anymore." She looked straight into his eyes and added with the raspy voice of hers: "I don't trust you anymore with my heart."

He opened his mouth to say something – but felt himself in shock and hurt by her words. He was trying to find something in his mind or heart to change this, and prove her that how truthfully his intentions towards her were. But he was running out of words and arguments. When somebody tells you, that they don't trust you with their own heart – there isn't much you can answer. So he let go off her. She turned, grabbed the door knob, and went out of his room.

He followed her immediately out on his porch. But he stopped and watched her walking away - again. He breathed in the fresh air of the night, mixed with her sweet flavour still lingering around him. For a moment he just stood there, unable to think of anything. Then suddenly he felt how his body moved and his voice screamed her name.

She stopped, but didn't turn around. She remained standing there, wrapping her arms around her body. He approached her slowly from behind.

„Is this the point where you're telling me you're sorry again?" she whispered coldly. She felt how her body was shivering as moments from the past came to her mind. His soft voice snapped her out of it.

„I understand that this is all very confusing for you. And I understand that you're having a hard time believing me. But I just want you to know something – and maybe you can't believe me right know – but someday maybe you will." She finally turned around. Her eyes were full of tears, insecure and anxiety. He took a few steps towards her and took her hand, putting it to his heart for the second time this evening. „Since the day I fell in love with you, you never left my heart. You were always there, hidden in a place where only I knew where to find you." She looked at him, trying her best to blink away her tears. „You were there Brooke. You were there when Nathan had his accident, you let me vent about Dan. You were there when my best friend Haley left town and I went to see her, you were there when Keith died – you gave me space and comfort at the same time. You where there when my basketball dreams shattered, you hold me in your arms on the river court for hours, and understood without a lot of words what I was going through. You were there a few months later when my dream of wining state champion ship came true. You were the first one to hug me, and congratulate me. You were there when my second dream came true – you were in New York, celebrating with me." Tears were now running down her cheek. „I don't know how it happened, but right now, I'm standing here in front of you again begging you to let me in, well aware of the fact that a lot has happened, and that there are a lot of obstacles and doubts standing in our way." He paused for a few seconds and finally admitted: "Truth is, you have all the reasons to tell me that you don't trust me with your heart, but my heart is still right here with you – it never completely left you Brooke." He squeezed her hand a little tighter. „So the only question is: Are you here with me one last time?" He put his hand on to her cheek, and wiped some tears away. She leaned her face into his palm, trying to find some shelter. But she couldn't deny the obvious anymore – she had fallen in love with Lucas Scott all over again.

--

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hello everyone**_

_**Here comes another update. I decided to post one despite the fact that not too many of you reviewed the last one. **_

_**It's a long one, I had some inspiration from a few threads in the brucas discussion thread on the forum - reminding me that there are still some brucas-loving people out there. So this is for all of you brucas fans who might have losen faith, or sometimes find it hard to keep on believing.**_

_**After all the drama, we have some funny moments as well - but don't worry, the drama comes back right towards the end... **_

_**I hope you're still interested in this story, and you will enjoy this new chapter.**_

_**As always, comments and reviews are very appreciated...**_

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It was a morning like any other.  
The sun was rising, the mail got delievered, and it was time to rise.  
Nathan and Haley were enjoying their time alone while Jamie was having breakfast over at Mouth's and Skillz's. Milicent was opening the cloths over bro's store and an exhausted Peyton just got home from the club. She entered the house and called for Brooke. But everyhing remained silent.

A morning like any other. But yet something was different. Something was definetly different when Lucas opened his eyes this morning. He felt it right when he saw her. Lying on his chest, and sleeping tightly in his embrace. They had spent almost the whole night talking. They talked about their past, about how things went wrong, but also about some good moments. He felt her insecurity shine through from time to time, and that's when he realized that he had really messed up. But at the same time he realized how lucky he was, that he could actually feel her right know in his arms. How fortunate he was that she hadn't run away again, that she would try to give him the chance – that she would give both of them the chance to reunite again. He stroke her hair while the scene of last night rushed again through his mind.

How she had looked at him, with that intense look. And before he could start guessing if he had reached her with his words she had put her hands around his neck and kissed him. In that moment the insecure girl was gone, while her lips crushed onto his passionately, he felt that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

Clearly they both didn't want to rush things, so after they had gotten back in his room they simply laid down on his bed next to each other. They were facing each other and had began talking. About everything and nothing. And in moments of silence they simply looked at each other and were communicating without using words. Sometimes his hands had found hers, just like their lips did from time to time.

He smiled as he was watching her sleep. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and cuddled himself up to her body. He breathed in her sweet fragrance and felt how he was falling asleep again.

When he snapped his eyes open for the second time this morning he saw Brooke staring at him.

"Good morning" she wishpered.

"Hey" he answered, sounding sleepy and looking pensivly.

"What? Surprised to see him?" she added and started to smile.

"For a moment I thought you had left again" he confessed.

She shook her head and brought her hand up to his cheek and fondled it softly.  
"I'm right here. I wouldn't wanna wake up anywhere else right now."

She felt how he was finally relaxing. He hugged her tightly, burried his face in her hair and whispered: "Good." She leaned into his embrace and closed her eyes again.

Haley stepped with a cup of coffee outside the house and walked towards the pool. She sat down and thought about Lucas and Brooke. She was praying with all her heart that they both would finally find happiness. Together or by their own – she just wish to see both of them happy again. Lucas has always been her best friend, he's been with her every step of her life. Tough Brooke hasn't been a life-long friend, she had found in her a true friend who she could always turn to. She took another sip of her coffee and let her eyes wander across the water and the sunlight, which was reflecting in it.

She seemed deep in thoughts as Nathan approached her from behind.  
He placed his hand on her shoulder. She immediately turned around to face him.  
"Hey" she wispered. He smiled at her and sat down next to her. She nestled her head up against his chest. He rubbed her back softly. She closed her eyes and said: "What a wonderful morning." They sat together in silence. Then after a beat she added: "We should do this more often." He pulled her even closer to him. "Spending time together. Just the two of us." She looked up to him and he returned her look.  
"Yeah, I've been enjoying this. Not that I would ever mind Jamie's presence" he explained. Haley nodded. "I know."

Back in Lucas's room, Brooke and him were still lying in bed, cuddled up to each other.  
"Wanna know a secret?" Brooke asked. "I think I could stay like this all day long" she confessed.

"Yeah me too."

They smiled genuinely at each other again. But then Brooke's smile vanished and she added: "But I think I have to go see Peyton."

He looked more serious as well as he nodded.

"Everything ends someday right?" she said.

"You and I won't pretty girl." Lucas stroke her hair while he repeated: "We won't."  
She nodded slightly as he pressed his forehead against hers. He kissed the tip of her nose. Pretty girl – his nickname for her resounded in her head, making her thinking back about lost times.  
Eventually she broke from his embrace and sat up. She reached for her shoes on the floor and put them on. Lucas sat up as well and put his arms around her from behind.  
"You're sure you don't want to stay a little longer?"

She leaned backwards into his arms. "You know I'd love to" she answered. "But if we really want this to work this time I want to do it the right way, you know?"

She looked up to him and he nodded. "I know. You're right." He let go of her and laid down again with a sigh. She got up on her feet and walked over to the mirror and checked her hair. Suddenly Lucas sat up again. "You're sure you don't want me to come with you?"  
Brooke looked at him through the mirror and nodded. "We already talked about this, remember? I still think it's for the best if I talk to her first alone."

"I know, I know" he said, thinking back of their conversation they had had last night. "I just feel like I'm leaving you alone with all of this. You don't have to deal with this alone. It's you and me now, you know?"

She could feel the happiness in his voice. She turned around and smiled at him.  
"What?" he asked as he got up and approached her.

"Nothing. It's just strange because for the longest time it has just been me. Or me and my work, me and my designs..."

He put his arms around her waist. "Well you better get used to it. Because from now on it's you and me, Brooke."

She teared up a little as he pulled her into a hug. She returned his gesture and hold him tight. He run his fingers trough her hair. She breathed in his scent and try to take as much courage as she need to make it through this day.  
He accompanied her to the door and opened it. She stepped outside.

"Call me if you need anything, okay?" he said. She turned around and said: "Okay."  
They remained looking at each other. He reached for her hand and dragged her towards him again. Then he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Everything is going to be okay" he reassured her.

She tried to smile and nodded. "Bye." She stepped back and and began to walk away.

"Mommy, Daddy!" Jamie came running towards Nathan and Haley, who were still sitting by the pool.

"Hey sweetie!" Haley opened her arms and Jamie jumped right up to hug her. Nathan put his arms around them as well. Skillz and Mouth showed up right after Jamie.

"Did you have a good breakfast?" Haley asked. "Yeah, we ate in front of the television while we were playing Wii."

Nathan raised his eyebrows and Haley turned to the boys as well. Both laughed. "Well don't get used to it little boy." Haley told her son as she let him down again.

"Do you guys want some coffee?" Nathan offered.

"I just had one, but hey, I'm so tired I think I need another one" Skillz said.  
Nathan smiled. "When did you get home last night?" He asked him as they both went inside, accompained by Jamie, leaving Mouth and Haley alone.

"Thanks for taking care of him for the last couple hours" Haley said.

"No problem, you know how much we love to have him around."

Haley smiled and sat down again by the pool.

"Hey did you heard something of Brooke?" Mouth asked her.

Haley looked at him in surprise. "Well no, not today. Why?"

He shrugged. "Just wondering, that's all."

Haley studied his expression. "She told you, didn't she?" she asked with a little smile on her face. Mouth smiled and said: "Yeah she did. But I guess even a blind man would have seen what's going on." He sat own next to her.

"I'm a little worried about her" he confessed.

"Yeah me too. About both of them acutally" she said.

"But I´m sure they´ll figure it out."Mouth added. And Haley nodded in agreement.

"Peyton?" Brooke yelled her best friend's name as she entered her house. She put down her keys on the table and looked for Peyton. After she scanned the living room she went upstairs to her room. She knocked on the door and asked for her once more. Then she opened the door, only to find it empty. She ran down the stairs again and grabbed her purse, to search for her phone. That's when she saw the red light blinking on the answering machine. She went a step forward and pressed the button to hear the message.

"Hey Brooke, it's me Peyton. You will never guess what happened: There was someone in the crowd yesterday who acutally loved the band. They're talking about co-producing the record and investing money in my label. Anyway, I'm at the airport right now, heading to New York to meet them and talk about everything" she paused. She was talking really fast, she was obviously excited. "Sorry I'm a little bubbly, I haven't slept at all and I'm super excited. Unfortunately you weren't home this morning when I got home. Anyway, I'll be home in two days or so, can't wait for you to fill me in with all the details of you and Chase... Gotta go, bye."

Brooke shook her head and let herself sink down on a chair. Could this get any worse? She wanted to tell Peyton right away, she wouldn't want to wait anymore. She had been waiting for too long... She got up and wandered through the living room where she was looking at some picture of her and Peyton framing on the wall. Peyton. She had been her best friend since beginning of time. They had been through some rough times. She had been hurt. It was hard to forgive and to move on. But she hadn't regret it for a second. Because no matter what, Peyton was the one person in the world she was actually consieridering as family. She was the sister she never had. Better to each other and worse to each other than anybody else. She took the frame from the wall and put it to her chest, sighing. She hoped that Peyton had it in her heart to understand her. She hoped with all her heart that she wasn't going to lose her.

Suddenly the front door was opened and somebody entered with fast steps.  
"Brooke?" she heard Lucas's voice. Brooke turned and looked up.

"I'm here" she answered.

Seconds later Lucas was standing in the living room. "I'm sorry, I know, you said you wanted to do this alone, but I couldn't just stay away" he explained.

She smiled slightly at him.

He studied her expression. "Where is Peyton? How did she take it?" he asked.

"She wasn't home. She left a message on the answering machine. She will be back in a few days." She got up and put the frame back on the wall. She stepped back in Lucas's direction and stopped as she felt his arms around her body.

"Do you think I should call her?" she suggested.

"And tell her on the phone? No, I'd wait until she comes back."  
She leaned back and he kissed her cheek. Brooke remained silent. They both stared at the picture in front of them. The two girls smiling into the camera. Happy and light-hearted.

Towards the evening both of them were sitting on the terrace of Brooke's house, enjoying the the last rays of sunshine. They nestled up to each other on the bench, covered with a blanket. They had spent the afternoon together in Brooke's house, cooking, eating, talking and mostly laughing. Lucas had missed Brooke's smile, and how good it felt inside of him. How good she made him feel by just being around him. But he felt from time to time how her thoughts drifted to how her best friend might react to the news.  
"Do you think it's wrong to feel so happy, when the exact same happiness is about to cause some real damage to another person?" she asked with a little voice. He had put her arm around her and her head leaned onto his shoulder.

"She might be more understanding than you think, Brooke" he said softly into her ear.

"I wouldn't be so sure, Luke... I mean I know how I felt when she told me that she was in love with you. My best friend telling me she had feelings for my boyfriend. It felt like my whole world was crashing."

Lucas looked confused. "Wait a moment..." He sat up a little to look at her. "What are you talking about? Peyton and I got together weeks, even months after we broke up."

Brooke just looked at him.

Suddenly Lucas seemed to understand. "Unless, she already told you before..."

She kept looking at him, still not responding.

"She told you before she told me..." He looked at her with big eyes as it finally hit him."And that's the real reason you broke up with me..." he said, still unable to process what he's been saying. "But why didn't you tell me?" he said softly.

"You mean to litterally watch you walking away from me?"

"Why would you think I'd walk away from you?" he asked.

She just gave him another look and he nodded. "Because of that kiss in the library, right?" he guessed.

She shrugged and nodded slightly eventually.  
He sighed and let himself sink on the bench again.

"I was afraid that once you'd find out, once she would tell you, you'd break up with me, like you did before. And I couldn't bear the thought of that, so instead I talked myself into not needing you, not missing you anymore and out of loving you."

He sat up again. "I wish I had known all of this back then. Things would have been different."

"Well things pretty much turned out as I expected them to. Once Peyton told you her true feelings you two got together."

Lucas shook his head in disbelief, burrying his face into his hands. Finally he understood, he saw the whole picture.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all this. But most of all I'm sorry for making you doubt me and the love I had for you." he put his hands on her cheeks., framing her perfect face .She closed her eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers. "I won't ever let that happen again" he whispered. She put her hands onto his and smiled through her upcoming tears. He pulled her towards his chest and leaned back, holding her tightly in his arms.  
If he only had known sooner...

Later, they moved into the living room and made themself comfortable on the couch, because it was getting a little cold outside. Lucas had opoened a bottle of wine, and they were sharing some stories from the few years they haven't seen or heard much of each other. Brooke told him about life as a celebrity and how much she still loved her job, despite all the long hours and stressful deadlines. Lucas told her how he helped raising Lilly, and taking care of Jamie. How he was hoping to have an impact on his life just like his uncle Keith have had on his. His eyes darkened when he spoke about Keith.

"I miss him" he admitted with a little voice.

Brooke squeezed his hand. "I know." She sat up a little, to face him. "Do you have any idea how proud he would be of you right now? You're being the man he raised you to be. A good, honest, warmhearted man. Just like he was."

He smiled sadly and nodded. "I try my best."

"Maybe you should stop trying so hard, Luke. Because for me, you already are that man. You always have been" she whispered. She put her hand on his cheek. He leaned into her palm.

"Sometimes I wonder how I made it through that dark place. How I could actually recover from something like that."  
Brooke looked at him, her eyes full of sympathy.

"But I already know the answer to that question. I had a hell of a girlfriend" he smirked, and she smiled back.

For a moment they were lost again in each other's eyes. Lucas leaned forward and kissed her gently. He felt how his body and mind were yearing to be close to her, but he tried his best to be reasonable and take it slow. Especially regarding they still hadn't talk to Peyton, and he felt that Brooke wasn't oo comfortable with that. So eventually he broke away from her lips and her sweet loving eyes. He checked his watch. "I should get going."

She looked at him with sad eyes. "Already?" she said a little short of breath.

"Well.. it's already late" he explained.

"Well, I guess you should then." They got up and walked to the front door. They were standing in front of each other, their eyes fixing each other.

"So, I'm gonna go" he said. He stepped closer to her, taking her hand in hers.

"Yeah, okay" she responded and stepped closer as well. Their hands entangled, and their face came closer and closer, until their lips crushed on each other. Arms were put around the other one, and they stood in the hallway, kissing passionately.

"You know what I'd love to do?" She whispered between the one kiss and the next one. Or was it the one and the same?

He shook his head and kept kissing her sweet lips.

"Waking up to you in the morning" she said softly. He put his arms around her waist. She smiled shyly. "You could stay, and we could talk and..." He interrupted her with another kiss.

"Talking sounds just... perfect" he assured. They smirked at each other.

"I was hoping you would say that" she added.

Their hands entangled again, as he guided her towards the stairs. Hand in hand they went together upstairs.

As soon as they reached her room, Lucas let himself fall on Brooke's bed, with him on top of her. He kissed her lips, and she responded immediately. Then he wandered down her neck, while he was caressing her hair softly. Her hands were stroking down his back. "Lucas" she whispered out of breath. He stopped, rolled a little bit away from her, supporting his head on his elbow and looked at her.

"You don't have to say anything. I wasn't planing on rushing anything here."

She simply looked at him, appearing shy.

"But I just can't help it... God, can't believe I forgot how good it is to feel your skin against mine" he softly stroked her arm. "Or kissing your perfect lips." He leaned forward again and captured her lips with his. "Or how insanly good you smell." He rested his head on her shoulders.

She smiled, blushing a little. "Luke..."

"But I know, I know." He lifted his head and looked at her again. "We should wait until everything is well ordered. You're right."

She nodded in agreement.

"Since when are you so reasonable anyway Brooke Davis?" he said, with a grin on his face.

"Hey, what's that suppose to mean?" She looked at him slightly scandalized.

He just laughed and she smiled along. Then her expression got more firmly.  
"I can tell you it helps to have been in the exact same situation."

"Brooke" he sat up a little. "Stop coparing this to what she did to you. Because I know you do, especially regarding the news I got today. You are not destroying a relationship. You're not destroying anything. Peyton and I are not together. We haven't been for the last 2 years" he said and meant it.

"I know that. But..."

"There is no but. I'm not saying it's going to be pleasant, but you shouldn't feel so guilty about all this. This is a good thing, remember? You and me?" He placed his palm on her belly.

"Yeah, you're right. And I know that... It's just, I can't really be here with you, and enjoy all of this unless I haven't talked to her."

He nodded and seemed to understand.  
He rolled away completely and got on his feet. Suddenly he felt her hand on his arms. He looked at her, and she looked back.  
"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm going home, giving us some space?"

"But, what about me wanting to wake up to you?" she pouted.

He smiled, letting himself sink down to the bed again. "Do you really think I can take my hands off you while you're sleeping next to me?" He looked at her, with his typical flirting look.

She smiled, she had missed this look. "Well you could try!" she answered.

He smiled. "Okay, I will try. But I won't guarantee anything" he pointed his finger at her, and smiled back. She giggled, obviously happy that he was staying after all. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him briefly. Then she got up, and bounced over to the bed room door. "I'm gonna get some water, do you want some?"

He shook his head.

"I'll be back in a sec" she disappeared out of Lucas's sight.  
He sighed but smiled at the same time. Then he got up as well, wandering to the bathroom.

Brooke ran to the fridge, and got a bottle of water. She couldn't wipe of the smile out of her face. She felt like 17 again, young, careless and so in love. Suddenly she heard her phone ringing. She went over to her bag, grabbed it and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Brooke, it's me, Millicent."

Brooke recognized her voice immediately. "Hi Millie."

"I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, you didn't."

"Sorry to call so late, but I was just wondering If you're coming to the store tomorrow or if should be there on time to open it?"

Brooke frowned. "What are you talking about? I've never been on time, you are the one who's taking care of everyhing. I'd be lost without you, you know that..." she trailed of. Then she suddenly realized what was going on. "Wait a minute, this is just you checking on me, right?"

After a beat Millicent admitted: "Acutally it's Mouth. He made me call you to..." Then she heard how somebody took the handset.

"Brooke? Is everyhing okay?"

Brooke smiled. "Mouth you're so sweet. Yes, I am fine. But just for the next time: You don't need an excuse to call me. Ever."

"I know. I just didn't want to interrupt anything."

Brooke looked in the direction of her bedroom. "Trust me, you didn't."

"So, you sound happy, I assume you talked to him?"

"Yes, we talked. And we still are actually."

"Oh okay. Then I will leave you two. I'll check in with you soon, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. And tell Millicent that I don't know if I'll be at the store tomorrow."

"Man, that must be some good talking" he giggled and Brooke rolled her eyes but smiled as well.

"Good night Marvin."

"Good night Brooke."

Then she hung up the phone and went back upstairs.  
As she stepped into her room again, Luke was lying on the bed. He had removed his T-Shirt and was only in his boxers, gazing outside the window. He still looked the same. His apperance was still this well trained physique, and she remembered how she used to place kisses all over his body. She shook her head, trying to blink out those thoughts.

As he heard her entering he turned towards her. "Hey there. Where have you been so long?"

"Millie called..." She frowned. "Well sort of." She walked over to the other side of the bed and got changed. She turned herself towards the window, not facing Lucas.

"You know, I've seen you naked before, right?" he said with a grin.

Brooke grined as well but just continued to remove her clothes without facing him and put something more comfortable on. With a tank top and some shorts on she hoped into bed.: "That's right. But that's sooooo long ago – I'm sure you don't remember."

"Oh trust me, I do remember" he grined again and rolled over, to be near her. "Any new tattoos?" he said with a little voice, still grinning.and narrowing with his eyes the spot where her chinese symbol tattoo was,

She laughed and hit him softly in his shoulder. "That one must have been really impressive when you're 16, hm?"

He nodded, laughing along.

She touched his shoulder. "Well you obviously still have yours as well" she stated. Her fingers wandered over his cheast and softly stroke his body. He closed his eyes for a moment.

Suddenly Brooke snapped out of it. "Why don't you put a shirt on, Luke?"

He grinned. "I see, you'd better play it safe." He rolled over and took his shirt from the floor, put it on and rolled back next to her.

"Better?" he asked, while he nestled himself to her body.

She nodded. "For now it is." She put her arms on his arms and hold him tightly against her. Brooke felt Lucas smiling. "What?" She asked with a little voice.

"Nothing. It's just..." He pulled her a little closer to him. "perfect."

"What is?" she wondered.

"This stillness I feel inside of me. Like I'm finally where I've always belonged" he whispered."And it's wonderful." He added in a sleepy voice.

She placed a kiss on his arm, which was placed around her shoulders and whispered: "I know the feeling."

Their breaths found soon and equally rhythm, carrying them into a peaceful sleep.

The morning sun was chasing away the darkness of the night when Brooke opened her eyes the next morning. Her room was already bright, as she blinked her tiredness away. She rolled over to the other side and realized disapointed that her bed was empty. She sat up, pressing the blanked against her body and looked around. Then she got up, put on a bathrobe, and stepped outside her room. That's when she heard noises from downstairs. She walked down the stairs and located the noise from the kitchen. She clearly heard two people talking. Her eyes widened as she opened the door and saw Peyton and Lucas standing there, having coffee and talking.

"Good morning B. Some coffee?" Peyton handed her a cup of coffee.  
Lucas simply stood there and looked at her with raised eyebrows. Brooke took a few steps forward into Peyton's direction. "Yeah, thanks" she said as Peyton handed her the cup.

Brooke put the cup down on the table. "Peyton..."

"I already know what you want to tell me Brooke" Peyton cut her off.

Brooke looked unsure from Lucas to Peyton. "You do?"

"Yes. Luke told me everything." Brooke was surprised that Peyton didn't sound angry or upset. She soundend rather calm.  
Peyton walked over to Brooke and pulled her into a hug. "It's fine Brooke. I'm okay with it." She let go of her and faced her. "You deserve it. You're my best friend B.Davis. I love you, and I want you to be happy. That's all there is to say."  
Brooke smiled trough her upcoming tears. She felt the weight of the world falling off her soulders. "Thank you Peyton" she whispered and the two girls huged again.

Suddenly Brook felt herself ripped away from Peyton's embrace and she opepend her eyes. She looked around and found herself once again in bed, waking up. She looked around, and found her room with the same brightness as before. She turned around and the bed beside her was empty. She frowned. She got up in a hurry, put on her bathrobe, and went outside her room. She heard noises from down stairs. She ran down the stairs and opened the kitchen door. She found Lucas standing at the stove, cooking something. He turned around as he heard her entering. "Hey beautiful. You're awake."

She nodded and looked around the room, still not really sure what was reality and what wasn't.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

"I'm not sure" she answered. "Peyton isn't here, is she?" She asked.

Lucas frowned. "No, why would she? Are you expecting her this morning?"

Brooke shook her head as she went to the frigde and poured herself a glass of juice. "Too good to be true" she whispered to herself, smiling sadly.

"Excuse me?" Lucas asked, trying to drown the noise of the ventilation and the radio which was playing a random song.

Brooke put down her glass and went over to Luke, escaping in his arms. He put down dipper immediately and put her arms around her shoulders. "What's wrong?" he asked, while he was rubbing her back.

"It's nothing. I just had this dream, where Peyton would acutally be completely okay with the idea of the two uf us." She explained.

He looked at her sadly, not knowing what to respond. Instead he just hold on to her a little longer, trying to give her some comfort and courage.  
After a beat she let go of him. "What are you doing here anyway? You can't just get up and leave me all alone in that big bed" she said, and seemed to want to forget about her dream.

"Well, what does it look like?" He answered and made a hand gesture over the kitchen. She smiled as she realized that he was making her breakfast. She had been so preoccupied with her thought about Peyton, that she didn't even noticed the smell of scrambled eggs in the air, fresh coffee and toasted bread.

"Aww Luke... You shouldn't have..."

"I know. But I wanted to." He turned around and took care of the eggs again. She sat down at the covered table.

"Besides" he turned around again and pointed a finger into her direction. "I had to get back to you for leaving me waking up by myself not too long ago." He grined and turned around again.

Brooke shook her head and thought back of that morning. It was strange how quickly thing could turn around. She reached for the flower standing in the vase on the middle of the table. She put it to her nose and smelled it. She smiled as the sweet fragrance of the rose filled the air around her.

Suddenly there was a knock on the front door.  
Both turned around immeditaly towards the front door.  
"Are you expecting anyone?" Lucas asked.

Brooke shrugged her shoulders. "I'll get it." She got up and walked through her living room and reached for the door.

"Hey Brooke" a smiling Haley greeted Brooke.

"Good morning" she answered, opening the door only to the width of a chink.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" Haley asked. Brooke adjusted her bathrobe a little. Before she could actually answer, she noticed Jamie, standing besides Haley.

"Hi buddy" she said. Jamie stormed into her house, leaving Brooke unable to react in time to stop him. Haley followed, calling for Jamie. Brooke went after them, closing the door.

"Jamie, you can' just..." Haley stopped lecturing her son as she spotted Lucas standing in his boxer shorts and a Shirt in Brooke's kitchen.

"Uncle Lucas!" Jamie ran over to him, and Lucas lifted him up, hugging him tightly.  
"Hey Jamie. What are you doing here?" He turned around and faced a surprised Haley and an embarrassed looking Brooke.

"We found him Momma!" Jamie said.

"Yes, Jamie, I can see that" Haley answered. She looked quickly over to Brooke and back to Lucas again.

"Were you looking for me?" Lucas asked.

"Yes, I was worried because you weren't picking up your phone and I wanted to hear how you're doing."

"Sorry Hales, I must have left it in my jacket, downstairs."

"Mhm. Downstairs." She stated, looking again to Brooke, who couldn't restrain a smile.

Haley started to smile too. "Well, everything seems to be fine, so we are gonna leave you two alone."

"No, I want to have some breakfast too, Mommy" Jamie said, as Lucas let him down on the floor again.

"You already had breakfast Honey."

"I know, but can't I have a second time? It smells really good in here."  
Everyone in the room started smiling. Lucas smiled stroke over the boy's head.

"Not today. Come on Jamie, we leave your godparents alone." Haley reached out for his hand, which he grabbed eventually. "And you two go back to.. whatever you were doing." Haley grined shyly.  
On their way out, Jamie stopped as he passed Brooke and hugged her tightly. "You clearly are something special. Uncle Lucas never made me breakfast before."

Brooke smiled as she put her arms around Jamie.

"Some other time, okay Jamie?" Lucas yelled after him, as he was leaving with Haley. Jamie nodded enthusiasticly in response, and then they were gone.

"Oh my god, did that just happened?" Brooke covered her mouth and started laughing. Lucas laughed along.

After they had enjoyed their breakfast, Lucas told Brooke that he had to the gym, getting ready for tonight's practise. At first she pouted a little. She had been enjoying the time they shared together. Alone. Maybe she wasn't ready to face reality just yet. But she told him eventually that it was fine, and that she wanted to check on the store anyways.

Brooke was sitting in the living room as Lucas came down the stairs, completely dressed and ready to go. Brooke got up as she saw him coming towards her.

"Duty calls" he stated. He reached for her hands and pulled her towards him. "But you know what the best part is?" he mumbled.

Brooke laid her hands around his neck and shook her head gently.

"To be coming home tonight to you" he said while his eyes locked hers.

A blissful smile came across her face. He guided her chin in his direction and kissed her softly. "See you tonight" he said as if it has been the most normal thing for the longest time.

Brooke nodded. "Bye." She let go of him and watched him leaving.

As Lucas entered the school this morning he walked by Haley's classroom. He saw her sitting there, writing something. He knocked on the open door. She looked up, noticing him in the doorway. "Hey, I see you got dressed after all" she gave him a big smile.

Lucas grined and stepped into the room. "Yes, I normally get dressed when I come to work."

"Thank god" Haley said, while he sat down in a chair in front of her. She studied his face for a beat. Then she added: "And thank god you're finally seem happy again."

Lucas nodded slightly. "It's still a little unreal you know. But I'm good. I'm very good." He smiled at her.

Haley returned his smile. "I can see that. And I think it's great."

Lucas got up and walked out of the room. "Oh and Haley – please don't tell anyone, Peyton kind of still doesn't know and..."

"Don't worry Luke. I won't tell. But you guys should tell her as soon as possible."

"Yeah, Brooke is taking care of that." He waved at her and disapeard in the hallway.

Back in Brooke's house, Brooke was sitting on the couch after taking a long shower and getting dressed. She had been staring at her phone for the longest time which was lying on the table. Her expression was pensive. Eventually she grabbed her phone and dialed Peyton's number.  
But she had turned her phone off and all she could reach was her mailbox.  
"Hey Peyton, it's me, Brooke" she heard herself talking. What was she going to say?  
"I was just wondering when you're planing on coming home. Because I'd really like to talk to you about something. So just give me a call or something. Okay, bye." She hung up and sighed.

After Brooke stopped at the store just to see that everything was ok she headed over to Haley's in the afternoon. She felt like she had to talk to her about the situation this morning.

"Hey there" Haley greeted her friend as she spotted her sneaking in through the backyard. "I was just thinking about calling you."

"Really?" Brooke made her way through their garden and finally stood in front of Haley.

"I'm so sorry for interrupting like that this morning, I was just worried about both of you, I had to come over and check." She apologized to Brooke.

"Don't worry, it's just that..."

"Peyton still doesn't have a clue, I know. Lucas filled me in." Haley told her. "You have to tell her Brooke. You don't want her to find out through somebody else."

"Yeah I know. And I wanted to tell her the other day, but she had already left for NY. I tried calling her, but she doesn't answer. I will talk to her as soon as she gets back" Brooke explained.

"You know why I'm insisting on this, right?" Haley asked, as she was sitting down on a chair, offering Brooke one as well.

"Yes, because Brooke Davis of all people should know how it feels to discover that your best friend and your boyfriend sneaking around your back." Brooke let herself fall on a chair infront of Haley.

"No, that's not why." Haley shook her head. "But first of all, Lucas isn't dating Peyton, Brooke." Brooke looked down, playing nervously with her fingers. "You're both not seeing someone, you don't owe an explanation to anybody."

Brooke let this sink in and remained quiet.

"And there lies the reason why I'm insisting on this. I know you Brooke Davis. Unless you haven't talk to her you're gonna keep blaming yourself and you won't be able to completely open up and enjoy this happiness which lies right infront of you. You need to talk to her for your own sake Brooke." She reached for Brooke's hand and squeezed it."And because I saw that happy smile of yours this morning, and I realized how much I missed it. You – being happy. That's why I'm telling you this."

Brooke smiled genuinely at her. "Thank you" she said hardly audible.

After her talk with Haley Brooke went back to the store again. She sighed as she entered her office and saw all the work on her desk. She clearly hadn't checked in for last few days. So after chatting with Millie for a bit, she barricaded herself in her office.  
She spent the next few hours working, and didn't see the time flying by. Only as Millie came in to wish her a nice evening she noticed how late it already was. After Millie had left, her phone ringend and ripped her out of her concentration once more. She smiled as she saw who was calling.

"Hey Luke" she answered the call.

"Hey there beautiful. Where are you?"

"At work"

"How about you call it a day and come join me at my house? I just ordered some pizza."

"Sounds really good, but I have to finish a few things first here."

"Come on Brooke. It's not you and work anymore, it's you and me, remember?"

She smiled into the phone, not answering for a beat.  
"You know what? You're right. I'm on my way."

She hung up and grabbed her bag. As she left her office she looked back again. It was the first day in a long time where she felt that there was something better waiting for her than her work. She switched off the light, locked up the door and left with a smile on her face.

Haley and Nathan enjoyed the end of the day with their son. Mouth and Millie were cuddled up in front of the television. Skillz sat in the coach office and planned tomorrow's practise. And Brooke and Lucas sat down on the floor in the living room, illuminated only with a few candels Lucas had lit before, equipped with a lot of pillows, having pizza and a glass of wine. While they were enjoying each other's company Brooke's cell was ringing in Lucas's room. She had left it in her purse, on Lucas's bed. The melody of her latest ringtone was playing – but it was left unnoticed.

"I'm glad you called and made me come" Brooke confessed as she laid down on Lucas's lap. She put her head on his outstreched legs, while he rested his head on the back of the couch.

He looked down on her pretty face, running his fingers gently over her face, and caressing her cheek.

"Yeah, me too." He smiled and gazed at her with his typical loving eyes, which she loved so much.

She smiled back, returning his look. He leanded down and placed a kiss on her lips. He lifted his head a little, only to feel her hand around his neck, dragging him down to her lips again. A little smile played around his lips. After a beat their lips crushed again. Lucas caressed Brookes hair, as their kiss got more and more passionate. He put an arm under her body and made her sit up a little, pulling her even closer, without once seperating his lips from hers. He held her in her arms, still kissing her. Brooke couldn't get enough how his sweet lips and his the smell of his skin, which she had missed so much, and made her feel like she finally found what she's been searching for all those years. Brooke put one hand on his chest, and felt his heart racing. Suddenly Lucas broke away from her, lifting his head, leaving Brooke winded. She didn't open her eyes right away, she was still amazed and enchanted by his touch and his nearness. After a beat she opened her eyes only to see Lucas eyes narrowing the other side of the room. Her sweet smile vanished as she saw Lucas's stern expression.

"What's wrong, Luke?" She lifted her head and followed his gaze. Her jaw dropped as she finally saw what he had noticed just a few seconds before her.

Peyton was standing in the doorstep of Lucas's frontdoor, looking shocked at both of them.  
Disbelief and anger were reflecting in her eyes.  
After a beat her low and shaky voice resounded through Lucas's candle lit livingroom. "What's going on here?"

--

_**TBC**_


	11. Chapter 11

After the big bang there was a sudden silence in the air.

Everything was quiet on the countryside highway – except for a few noises, coming from a black car, a comet, lying upside down in the gras, about 50 meters away from the street.

A soft summer breeze was blowing over the car, mixing the peaceful air with the smoke coming from the smashed car - where two bleeding and injured bodies were resting.

**A FEW DAYS EARLIER**

Peyton was standing in the doorstep of Lucas's frontdoor, and looked shocked at both of them. Disbelief and anger were reflecting in her eyes.

After a beat her low and shaky voice resounded through Lucas's candle lit livingroom.

"What's going on here?"

Lucas and Brooke remained for a moment in their position, both caught by surprise as well. Then suddenly Brooke jumped to her feet, mumbling "Oh my god" more to herself than to anybody else. She stepped forward, but the girl she was trying to reach out to stepped back immediately.

"What is this?" Peyton asked again, still unsure.

"Peyton..." Brooke tried to start explaining, stepping closer to her friend, but Peyton stepped back again, raising her hand and forced her to stop.

"No, don't you dare..." She whispered angrily through her clenched teeth.

"Please, just let me explain!" Brooke tried to get through to her.

"Is this why you asked me to come home? To get a front seat to this freak show?" she raised her voice and Brooke could feel her friend's anger.

"Hey!" Lucas threw in from behind, obviously a little offended, getting on his feet as well.

Brooke ignored Peyton's snappy comment, and tried again talking to her. "Peyton..."

But she was cut her off again.

"You can't be serious!" She narrowed Brooke with her eyes. Then she looked back at Lucas, standing behind Brooke folding his arms, and again at Brooke, and her remorseful face. "This is a joke!"

"Excuse me?" Lucas got a word in edgeways, not believing what he'd just heard. He stepped forward, and stopped at Brooke's side.

"I'm not even talking to you right now!" yelled Peyton, pointing with her finger in his direction.

"Well you better!" he yelled back. "Because you're standing in my house, without being invited I might add, insulting us!"

"The damn door was open, okay?" she snapped back at him.

Brooke faced Lucas for a moment, touching his chest briefly, trying to keep everybody calm, trying to signalise him, that she had the situation under control.As she turned around to face Peyton again, she just saw her running out of the room. Brooke followed her calling her name.

"Brooke!" Lucas called after her. She stopped, looking back at him. He could see how the whole situation was upsetting her as well, and how she was quarreling with herself if she might had taken the wrong decision by getting close to him again. He looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Where are you going?" He asked, getting a little desperate himself.

"I need to go after her, I need to talk to her" she answered, still shocked how things had turned out.

"Maybe you should give her some time to calm down. I mean, I don't think you're the person she wants to talk to right now" he suggested.

"Then I will make her listen" she stated, blinking her tears of despair away.

"Brooke..." Lucas tried again, fixing her again with his eyes.

"Luke, just let me handle this, okay?" Her voice sounded harsher than she intented to. She broke away from his gaze and left.

And then she was gone. Lucas looked down, still not realizing what just had happened. He teard his hair, paced around the room for a moment and finally let himself fall down on the couch. He blew out a candle, standing on the table next to the couch. All he could do was wait. Waiting for her to return, and having faith that she wouldn't back down.

Brooke parked her car in her driveway and rushed into the house.

"Peyton?" she called into the house. She saw how the light was on in Peyton's room and ran upstairs. As she got in her room, Peyton was packing some stuff from her closet in a bag.

When Peyton spotted her standing in her doorway she glared angrily at her, but kept packing.

"Peyton..." Brooke said, her voice now less insecure as she was walking towards her friend.

"You know what Brooke? I don't want to hear it" said Peyton. "Playing your little game of friends with benefits again?" she snapped at her. "You know it's one thing you seem to be back to your old high school-you, but doing this with Lucas? Doing this with the one man your best friend's in love with?"

Brooke stared at her, remaining in shock what she'd just heard.

"Peyton, this is not about playing games. This is much bigger."

Peyton started to laugh. "Do you wanna tell me that this thing between you guys is serious?"

Brooke swallowed hard and looking away, letting this sink in.

"I love him. And what I came to realize is that I probably always have... And he..."

Peyton raised her hand again. "Just stop, okay? I don't want to hear any of this."

She walked again to her closet, getting some more cloths.

"I get that you're upset right now, we didn't mean for you to find out like that, I am truly sorry about that."

Peyton just glared at her, not responding. Then she picked up her packed bag and walked out of the room. Brooke closed her eyes, sighed and followed her after a beat.

"Peyton, wait, where are you going?" She ran down the stairs and reached her in the living room.

"I am sorry..." Brooke started again trying to explain, but Peyton cut her off this time.

"Great, you're sorry. That really makes a difference right now, thanks."

"Do you think I wanted this? It just happened, I didn't force anything here..."

"No, Brooke Davis never forces anything if it comes to sleeping with men" she said with a sarcastic note in her voice.

Brooke obviously felt hurt by her words. "This isn't about that. And besides, we didn't do anything, I didn't..."

"But you slept with Nathan." Peyton's word were cold and accusing.

Brooke was caught by surprise, looking at her shocked that she would bring that up again.

"Another man I had feeling for at that time" Peyton added.

"Peyton, this has nothing to do with Nathan. Please try to understand, this is something real here..."

"No, real is what Lucas and I had and still have. He proposed to me. Me!" She placed her hand on her chest. "Stop making a fool out of yourself Brooke!" She stepped closer to Brooke. "You will never have what I have with him, and you know that."

With that said she lifted her bag up again and walked out of the house, leaving a hurt, and upset Brooke behind. Tears were running down her face, unable to process what had happened in the past hours, not knowing what was right anymore.

Lucas dialled Brooke's number. He couldn't wait anymore, he felt so helpless by just sitting around and waiting for her to call. But she didn't answer. She didn't answer the first time he called, and she didn't the next ten times he tried reaching her.

The next morning came way too soon. Brooke was laying in bed, awake. Still awake. She hadn't slept at all, thought kept turning around in her head. She felt sorry for hurting her best friend like that, at the same time she was trying to figure out how she could solve this mess. Yesterday she was so sure about everything, but now all she could think about was her bad conscience. Her old doubts started to find their way back again in her head in her heart as well. _"You will never have what I have with him" _she heard Peyton's words again. She got up on her feet, dragging her own body under the shower, telling herself that a hot shower would surely help her decide what she should do next.

But by the time Brooke got dressed and walked into the kitchen her head was still upside down. She poured herself a cup of coffee and checked her phone. Several missed calls. Her heart jumped, wishing for a word from Peyton. But it had been Lucas. Lucas. She lifted her head feeling tears forming again in her eyes. Lucas. Her reawakened feelings had taken a back seat, all she could do was worrying about her best friend.

Suddenly there was a knock on her door. She put her phone down, walked to the door and opened it. As soon as the door was open, she could feel Lucas's arms around her. He pulled her in a hug and placed his head on her shoulders.

"Oh, I'm so glad to see you. I got really worried" he said softly into her ear.

She returned his embrace hesitantly. Even though she still felt drawn to him, somehow to be close to him didn't seem right regarding the circumstances.

"Why didn't you call me back?" he asked as he faced her again, holding on to her hands.

She shrugged. "I've just noticed, sorry." She let go of his hands and walked into the house.

"Where is Peyton?" he asked.

"Gone" she answered with a low voice, turning his back towards him. She folded her arms and sighed.

"So I assume the talk didn't go too well?" he asked precautiously.

"It didn't go at all."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he suggested.

"She would barely listen to me... She was so angry and said all those things..."

"What things?" Lucas stepped closer to her.

Brooke shook her head. "All sorts of things. But honestly, what was I expecting?"

Lucas put his arms around her. "It will all be okay, Brooke. You'll see."

While Lucas was trying to convince her, Brooke's expression was revealing that she was still lost in her thoughts. She stepped away from him and faced him.

"I better go find her and try to talk to her again."

Then she walked past him. "Do you want me to come with you this time?" he offered.

"No, that's probably not a good idea." She turned around and faced him again. "I'll call you, okay?"

Before Lucas could respond to any of it, she was already out of the door. He frowned, concered about the feeling that began to grow inside of him. A feeling of fear and powerlessness, of watching her slipping away again. "Bye..." he finally whispered into the empty house.

As soon as Brooke parked her car in front of Tric she got out and rushed upt the stairs, to gain access to Peyton's office. Loud, angry rock sound was resounding through the hallways. She knocked on the door, but finally entered, sure that Peyton wasn't able to hear her anyway. As she opened the door, she spotted Peyton immediately, sitting in the middle of her room, obviously drawing. She stepped to the stereo and turned down the volume.

Peyton turned her head immediately. Her look was still full of anger. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you." Peyton turned her head again, continued drawing.

"Peyton please. You got to give me the chance to explain this to you."

Peyton got up, taking her drawing with her and put it on her desk. Then she turned around, faced Brooke with folded arms. "I don't think there exist words to explain what you did Brooke."

"What I did?" Brooke raised her eyebrows. "Do you think I wanted to fall for him all over again? Don't you think I tried fighting this?"

"Well apparently you didn't try hard enough."

"Peyton…"

"Don't give me that Brooke. This has been going on for some time now, hasn't it? You've been lying to me this entire time!"

"Do I need to remind you that you are not really a saint in that area as well?"

"I was honest with you Brooke."

"You weren't about that kiss in the library. You kissed him while I was dating him - _again_. You knew how much I was in love with him."

Peyton remained silent.

"Do you remember that night after the party I threw after the shooting? How we talked on your porch, and you told me that you're not going to hurt me again? Do you remember that?" Brookes voice was about to crack up. "Well you did Peyton. More than you will ever know. You swore to me that you're not going to do it again, and in exact that moment you had already taken care of that." Tears were shining in her eyes. "So don't stand here accusing me, while you are not that much better!" Her voice got louder.

"Pay back is a bitch, right?" Peyton's voice was cold.

Brooke's jaw dropped. The fact, that Peyton would actually believe that and had said that out loud left her speechless.

Peyton stepped forward, walking towards the stereo. Before she put up the volume again she said: "Please shut the door on your way out."

Brooke realized that she wasn't getting anywhere. She shook her head slightly and left.

Later in the evening Lucas at Tric with Nathan. After discussing the basketball practise at school, they decided to have a drink together.

The club was not too crowded tonight, giving the two brothers oppurtunity to talk to each other. Before Nathan and Lucas had sat down at the bar, they ran into Millie and Mouth by accident. But while the two brothers were enjoying a drink, the couple was hitting the dance floor.

Lucas had just filled Nathan in about the recent developments. "That really doesn't sound pleasant" he stated while Lucas took a sip from his beer.

"What are you and Brooke gonna do?"

Lucas shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I know what I want, but I'm not so sure that she still does."

"Lucas Scott finally know what he wants?" Nathan raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I do." Lucas turned to face his brother. "All I want is her." A little smile came across his face. "Sounds pretty simple, huh? God I wish it was..."

They shared a look, and then Lucas turned his face again towards his beer.

"Well what about her?" Nathan asked.

"She's obviously really upset about Peyton's harsh reaction. And I'm afraid she's questioning us. I feel like she's avoiding me. She doesn't really let me in. She didn't returned any of my phone calls yesterday, this morning she literally run out of her house to get away from me, and she didn't call since even though she said she would."

He thought about how he had waited the entire day to hear a word from her, but everything remained quiet.

"Maybe she just has other things on her mind right now."

Lucas shook his head. "Can you believe that? A few days ago this whole new world is opening up in front of me, giving happiness a whole new definition.." A little happy smile came across his face, as images of Brooke and him were rushing through his head from the past days. Then his smile vanished again. "And now I feel like it's slipping away. I feel like she's slipping away again..." His gazed sadly at his brother. Nathan put his hand on her shoulder, trying to give him some comfort.

In that moment Brooke entered Tric, following by Haley. The two girls had spent an hour on the phone talking, as Haley suggested to go grab a drink to clear Brooke's mind. Brooke didn't want but Haley showed up a little later at her door, to pick her up. And she wouldn't accept any excuses. For a moment Brooke felt like Haley's was right, she could really use a drink right now. As the girls headed for the bar, both spotted Lucas and Nathan immediately.

"Brooke, I'm sorry, I had no idea that they were going to be here" Haley apologized, knowing that Brooke was looking for distraction.

That's when Lucas turned and saw her. Both looked at each other from across the room.

"It's ok Hales. Let's go say hi." She suggested. They walked over to them, and as Haley kissed her husband Brooke stood unsurely infront of Lucas. He got up and took her hand in his. She let him and returned his squezze. He smiled at her, and Brooke couldn't help but return his smile. And for this moment, the world seemed okay again. Just when Lucas was about to lean into a hug, a harsh voice was ripping them out of their shared moment.

"You gotta be kidding me!"

Haley and Nathan turned their heads as well in the direction of where Peyton was standing.

"Is this your way of showing how sorry you are? By putting this right into my face? Really nice Brooke." Peyton folded her arms.

"What? I didn't mean to..." Brooke tried to answer but Peyton cut her off.

"Just save it, okay? I have enough of your lame explanations."

Lucas just wanted to come to Brooke's defence, as Haley stepped forward.

"I doubt that, since you wouldn't even hear her out."

Peyton chuckled sarcastically. "This can't be serious." She looked from Haley to Brooke, and shortly to Nathan, to Lucas and then back at Brooke.

"So you filled them in. I bet you told them before you told me!"

"I tried contacting you several times" Brooke tried explaining.

"Oh great, now you're gonna tell me that this all is my fault?" Her voice got louder.

"What's going on here?" Mouth and Millie joined their friends, attracted by their obvious arguement.

"We really meant to tell you Peyton." Lucas assured her, after looking over to Mouth.

"Great, apparently you fillet anyone in, beside me!" Peyton's voice was still loud and furious.

"Peyton, there is no need to..." Lucas tried to calm down the situation.

"Don't you dare telling me what I need to do" she answered him, looking angrily at him.

"Okay, you know what? It sucks how you found out. And we are sorry for that. But we don't owe you any explanation. You have no right, no right to stand here and cause this scene or act the way you do!" Lucas felt his anger growing.

Brooke looked around in panic, she didn't want this to cause a scene, and she didn't want to make this any harder on Peyton. Even though she was touched how Lucas was coming to her defence, and deep down she might have known that he was right, she also knew how Peyton was feeling right now, the compassion for her friend was like always her first and biggest concern.

Peyton remained silent, feeling uncomfortable how everyone was looking in her direction.

"Peyton, why don't we go outside and talk, please?" Brooke looked at her with pleading eyes.

Peyton narrowed Brooke with her eyes. "Like I said, I have nothing left to say to you." Then she turned around and walked away, leaving Brooke speechless for a moment.

Lucas shook his head in disbelief and turned around to his friends. But Brooke wasn't ready to give up yet. As Lucas turned towards his friends, Brooke followed Peyton and catched up with her just infront of the entrance to her office.

"Peyton, wait!" she put her hand on her arm, forcing her to stop. But before Brooke could start talking, Peyton had already raised her voice.

"You know what? You keep mentioning our so called best friendship, so if our friendship really means that much to you, you have to end things with Lucas. Because our friendship doesn't exist in a world where you and Lucas exist."

Brooke's jaw dropped. She was trying to find her voice again.

"You can't be serious about this Peyton..."

"I am. And until then I have nothing else to say to you." Peyton walked past Brooke, heading for her office. Brooke let her go, still in shock about what she had just heard. Her heart was aching, she closed her eyes, and felt how tears were formed in her eyes and about to roll down her cheeks. She put her arms around her and fixed with her eyes the closed office door. As she felt Lucas's hands on her bare shoulder she winced a little. She turned around quickly and burried her face on his chest. He put his arms around her, pulling her closer, trying to protect her form the pain he knew she was feeling. He hadn't heard what Peyton had said, but he sensed immeditaley how it had upset Brooke. He knew she was hurt, and how she had wished for her best friend to understand.

Their friends watched them full of sympathize. Haley and Nathan exchanged a worried look.

Brooke lifted her head and wiped away her tears. Without looking at her friends gathering around the bar, she just whispered to Lucas: "I need to get of here. I'm sorry, I just can't..." She looked at him totally confused. She seemed simply over-burdened by the whole situation. Before Lucas could find something to answer she had already turned around and walked with fast steps towards the exit of the club. Lucas followed her with his gaze. He stepped forward, ready to follow her, but Haley stopped him.

"Wait. Let me go after her" she said.

Lucas looked lost for a moment, but eventually he nodded, adding "Okay" with a little voice.

As Haley was running after Brooke, Nathan got up and reached his brother's side. "Come on, I'll give you a ride home."

Lucas fixed with his eyes the spot where Brooke had left a few seconds ago. He thought about going after her as well, but then he felt the urge to do something else.

"Just give me a couple of minutes, okay?" he said to Nathan as he reached for Peyton's office door.

Nathan walked back to the bar and sank down on his chair again. Mouth stepped forward.

"What the hell was that? Seems like this game never gets old with the three of them."

"Yeah, tell me about it" Nathan agreed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Peyton jerked around as Lucas's angry voice was resounding through her office.

"Just leave me alone" she snapped back and remained seated in her office chair.

"You know what? If you so despretately need someone to blame then pick me." He stepped closer to her desk. "Blame me all you want if that makes you feel any better. But don't you dare" He put his finger in her direction "don't you dare put this on her Peyton. She's been your best friend, she forgave you again and again, and she was always there when you needed her. She was the one believing in your dreams, and helping you realizing them. She has been nothing but your best friend. And I won't just be standing there and watching you hurt her. So don't you dare." He looked sternly at her.

"I'm not going to have this conversation with you Luke. This is between me and Brooke."

"No, this pathetic mess has always been a triangle Peyton. I've played my role in this too Peyton, I'm well aware of that."

"So, then what do you want from me Luke?" She got up on her feet. "Did you come her to tell me that I just need to forget about all this? And just let this go?" She crossed her arms and added more shyly: "I mean, we're talking about us here…"

"Peyton, there is no us!" his voice had gotten louder. She looked at him with big eyes, obviously hurt by his harsh words.

"I'm sorry. I thought I made myself clear about that. There is no us anymore. There won't be" And after a beat he added: "And even if Brooke didn't come back in the picture again, I still wouldn't have come back to you."

Peyton avoided his eyes, deep down she knew that he was right.

"We can't help who we love. I really thought you of all people would understand." She looked up to him again, meeting his eyes only for a short moment. He shook his head slightly and walked away.

Outside of Tric Haley had finally caught Brooke.

"Hey girl, wait. You're okay?" she asked her friend.

"Not really." Brooke looked trough her purse to find her car keys.

"Brooke..."

"Haley?" Brooke lifted her head, and faced her. "I love you for caring, but right now I just want to go home. I need some time alone. Okay?"

Haley nodded, still concered but let her friend get in the car and watched her drive away.

When Brooke's car had disappeard Lucas and Nathan came up from behind.

"Where is she?" Lucas asked.

"She left. She said she needs some time alone." Haley turned around and faced him. "Maybe you should give her the time."

Lucas felt the urge to be there for her, and talk to her.

"Come on man, we'll give you a ride home." Nathan placed his hand on his shoulder and guided him towards their car.

In the next afternoon Brooke took a walk on the beach. She had been walking along the shore, but stopped after a moment.

A cold wind was blowing and Brooke crossed her arms as she stared out over the water. There had been a few people when she'd arrive earlier, but they'd taken note of the clouds and had left. Now she found herself alone on the beach and she took in her surroudings. The ocean, reflecting the color of the sky and a few sunrays, making their way through the cloudy sky. Heavy clouds were descending slowly, and the fog was beginning to thicken, making the horizon more and more invisible. Waves rolled up steadily on the shore, crashing and dying at her feet, after they had wet her them.

After lifting her head from her feet she noticed him walking up to her. She studied his appearance. He had burried his hands in his pockets, wearing a pair of black trousers, and a bright blue shirt. His expression was firm, his blue eyes were dark, like he was expecting why she had ask him to come.

"So you got my message" she started as he finally reached her.

He just nodded, looking at her with worried eyes. He had been waiting the whole day for a sign from her side. When his cell was finally ringing in the afternoon, telling him he got a new message his heart jumped when he had seen it came from Brooke. But the message was clear and brief, requesting him to meet her at the beach, near Dan's beach house.

"Are you okay? We didn't really get the chance to talk; you left so sudden yesterday night..."

She shrugged. "Not really to be honest."

He stepped forward but she stepped back. He looked at her irritated and confused. "What?"

"Let's not make this any harder" she whispered. The wind was whirling her hair around.

"What are you trying to say?" he looked unsurely at her, deep down he already knew what he was about to hear.

"Lucas, you know I love you with all my heart. I always have…" her voice trailed away, on the edge of breaking.

"I love you too" he responded immediately.

Brooke simply looked at him, then looked away again. As she regained her voice again she added: "But I just can't do this to Peyton."

"She did it you. She did even worse to you."

"I know. And I know it hurt like hell, and it's something I've never really recovered, and I don't want her to end like this. And I don't want to lose her."

"So what about me?" his voice sounded very low in the beginning, almost loosing its sound in the wind. But then he said louder and clearer: "What about us?" Tears were shining in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, but you saw it yourself, she's never going to be okay with this."

"So what? I don't need Peyton to be okay with anything" He said with a angry undertone. Then he added softer: "All I need is you, Brooke."

Brooke just looked at him, unable to respond.

"What exactly did she tell you yesterday at tric? How come you've lost faith in us like that? I mean, a few days ago we were in heaven, and now it's all supose to be over?"

"I just think it's for the best" her voice was on the edge of cracking, her heart was about to break into a million pieces. Did she really just say that?

He looked at her, obviously hurt by her words.

"You don't mean that, Brooke."

Brooke just nodded and turned around, signalising him that she had already made up her mind. Her heart was telling her to keep him close to her and never let him go again. She tried her best to keep her body from shivering and shaking.

She heard his steps in the sand, walking away from her. But then, it stopped.

Lucas turned and looked back to her.

"Do you know that I finally know where I belong Brooke?" The wind was bringing his voice to her ear. "It took me some time to finally arrive and realize it" he continued,"but I did. Only by your side I truly feel alive..." he said genuinely. Brooke wrapped her arms around her. She kept her back towards him as tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"And If you think I'm just gonna give up on us, or just get over you - you're wrong. Because I won't, Brooke."

She closed her eyes, touched how he was fighting what she's been telling him. She remained standing there, trying to breathe equally, and keeping her tears unnoticed.

After a beat she felt that he was gone. His presence was gone, she could sense it. She turned slowly around and all she could see was his appearance in the distance, walking away. In her mind she had a thousand words to keep him from leaving, ready to be spoken out loud. But she remained quiet, still unable to move. The image of him leaving was mixing itself with memories of the past, of times they had spent on almost the very same spot on this beach. When he found her after as she had been hurt, and lost completely faith in her fellow men. This was where they had shared their first kiss after such a long time apart. This is where he had told the whole world that he was the guy for her...

A cold breeze was blowing into her face letting the memories fade away, and her hair dance around her tearstrained face.

"Knock knock" An hour later Haley entered Lucas's house, looking for her friend. He hadn't opened the door, so she used her extra key to open his door and found him laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Who's there" he answered, his voice sounded unemotional.

"Your best friend who's here to offer her support?" She walked over to his bed, sitting down beside him. He sat up a little.

"What happened?" she asked softly as she noticed that must've been crying.

"Brooke decided to save her friendship with Peyton over me."

"Luke, I'm sorry" she reached for his hand.

"Yeah me, too." He paused. "I mean, can you believe that I can't be with the woman I love because I dated this other woman years ago?"

"Only that it wasn't just another woman, Luke. Your two girls are best friends."

"One. There is only one girl for me. One."

Haley looked at him with sad eyes. "I know, I know..." She squeezed his hand.

At the same time Brooke was rushing out of her store, running to her car.

When she was just about to open the car she spotted Peyton on the other side of the road, getting in her car as well. She crossed the road and approached the blonde woman.

"Peyton."

Peyton turned around as Brooke spoke up. She looked at her for a moment, but didn't respond in any way. Peyton opened her car and got in. Brooke ran around the car and opened the passenger door.

"Please wait" she bent down, looking into Peyton's car. Since the sky was rather cloudy today the roof of her cabriolet wasn't open. She leaned down to face Peyton.

"Please close the door Brooke" Peyton said with an ice cold voice.

"Look, can we just talk?" Brooke jumped into the car, letting herself sit next to Peyton.

Her pleading eyes met Peyton's.

"Okay, I kind of was expecting the silence treatment, so I wrote you a letter instead" Brooke said carefully as she drew an envelope out of her purse, which she had placed on her lap before. She handed the letter over to Peyton.

Peyton looked at it for a beat then she took it and threw it on the back seat.

"Great, more apologies and lame excuses. Thanks."

Brooke looked hurt and offended. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Like you wouldn't know. Now would you now please get out of my car? I'd like to go."

"No, I'm tired of chasing you and you running away from me."

"Well it's suppose to mean, I don't want to talk to you."

"Well I'm not going anywhere until we talked."

"Do you have my answer yet? I told you on which terms we two could talk again."

"You'd know it by now if you read my letter."

"Yeah, maybe some other time" she said with a fake smile. "No get out of my car Brooke, I mean it."

Brooke folded her arms, signalising that she wasn't going anywhere.

"Fine" Peyton snapped at her and started the engine. She drove the car out of the parking lot and the two girls where driving through Tree Hill.

"I guess I should be feeling honored, that the princess has decided to talk to me in person this time" said Peyton ironically.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on, like you didn't send Lucas over to talk to me."

"I didn't... I didn't know..." Brooke stopped, realizing what she was saying, that Lucas must have had talked to Peyton. After a beat she concentrated on Peyton again:

"So there is absolutely no way for you to get passed this? That we get passed this?"

"Right, because that's what you did in senior year" Peyton snapped back, resting her arm on the open window.

"I was dating Lucas Peyton, while you kissed him. Twice. And right now you're not dating him Peyton, actually you haven't for the last couple years."

"But we got closer again since I came back and you knew exactly how I'm feeling about him!" She shouted at Brooke. She could feel that Peyton got angrier by the minute. But this time she didnt' back down, she felt her own anger grow as well.

"So what are you saying? You can't have him, so no one should have him?"

Peyton didn't answer, she focused on the street.

"Dont' get me wrong Peyton, I know how hard this must be for you."

"You don't know a damn thing Brooke! You don't know how it feels to..."

"...be betrayed? To watch your best friend lying in the arms of the man you love?"

Brooke's voice got louder as well and was on the edge of cracking. "I know exactly how it feels Peyton!"

As they were argueing they were driving outside of town, along a countryside highway.

"Oh please, you can't compare that high school fling to what we had. He proposed to me, he was ready to spend the rest of his life with me! We were supose to have forever!" Peyton shouted furiously at Brooke, as she turned towards her, still accelerating the speed of her car.

"Peyton, you're driving too fast, please slow down" Brooke looked worried from Peyton to the road which was infront of them. Trees and fiels were passing them faster and faster.

"Now you're gonna tell me how to drive my car?" Peyton looked at Brooke and took her eyes off the road once again, as the car was speeding.

"Peyton, watch out!" Brooke's voice resounded through the car and Peyton's head, but the speed of the car left Peyton no time to react. As she looked infront of her again, and realized that the car was getting off the street, it had already been too late. Brooke was screaming a cry of fear and put her arms around her head. When Peyton slammed on the brakes, the car had already left the street and was heading for a tree, which it hit a few seconds later.

The car crashed completely, and its speed turned the car upside down, letting it fall into the roadside ditch, and eventually glided down the little hill, where it came to stand still after flipping over several times.

After the big bang there was a sudden silence in the air.

Everything was quiet on the countryside highway – except for a black car, a comet, lying upside down in the gras, about 50 meters away from the street.

A soft summer breeze was blowing over the car, mixing the peaceful air with the smoke coming from the smashed car – where two bleeding and injured bodies were resting.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Thanks for all your kind reviews and messages!**_

_**Here comes the newest chapter. Enjoy - and as always, reviews are highly appreciated.**_

--

Peyton was sitting on a bed in the emergeny room of the tree hill hospital

Peyton was sitting on a bed in the emergeny room of the tree hill hospital. Nurses and doctors were rushing around her, one was examining her right shoulder. Peyton's big eyes were staring into space.

"Miss? Miss?" The doctor's voice got eventually through to her. She looked up to him. Her hair was covered with dirt and dried blood.

"Do you know how you got here? Do you know what happened?"

Peyton's eyes got bigger. She slowly shook her head, licking her lips, tasting a salty flavour. That's when she realized that she must've been crying.

"You had an accident" The doctor informed her. "It's not unusual that people blank out the details, it's a sort of shock condition, and the brain is simply not working properly..." The doctor's voice faded away and Peyton frowned. Accident?

"Accident?" she repeated out loud.

"Yes, in your black car. You had a car accident miss, outside of town. Can you remember nothing at all?"

Peyton frowned again, turned her head and looked outside of the window.

And then suddenly she heard Brooke scream and saw flashes of images.

"Brooke" she whispered barely audible and closed her eyes. Tears were streaming down her cheek as she began to realize what had happened during the past hours.

As Peyton regained consciousness, she slowly opened her eyes. All she could feel was pain. Mostly coming from her right shoulder. It took a moment for her to be able to take in her surrounding, to realize where she was. The front windshield was broken, she was able to look right into the green, fields where located in the distance. Finally she turned to her right, and saw Brooke, lying bleeding in her seat. She looked seriously injured. She had several bruises on her head. For a minute she freezed, kept looking at her, without reacting at all. She blinked, trying to process what she was seeing. Suddenly she pronounced her friend's name, and tried to move but remained gasping in pain, realizing that she was injured as well and that she was still wearing her safety belt. She reached for the it and unbuckled it.

"Brooke" her voice was louder this time, as she reached out her hand to touch her friend. But she wasn't able to touch her, as she was lying at the very opposite end of the car, it looked like she's been whirled around a lot. Peyton turned and tried to open her door. After trying several times, her shaky hands mangaged finally to let herself out of the car. She repressed the pain she was feeling as she threw herself literally out of her car. Seconds later she found herself lying the gras. She got up on her feet and took a look at her car. She covered her mouth in shook as she realized that there wasn't much left of it. The back of it was completely wrecked and the roof was ripped apart, and from the front there was smoke raising up in the air. After a beat she hobbled around it, to get to the other side, and kneeled down in the gras, and beside Brooke. The side window was broke as well, so that she could touch Brooke's head. Tears filled her eyes as she stroke absently her friend's hair, realizing that her fingers got covered with blood. As if by a miracle Brookes eyes fluttered open slowly.

"Peyton?" her raspy voice sounded weak.

"Brooke, it's going to be okay, I'm gonna get help. Just..." Her voice was on the edge of breaking. "Just try not to move, okay?"

As Brooke closed her eyes again Peyton got up and searched through her pockets for her cell phone, but realized that she must've lost it during the crash. For a moment she felt completley lost and helpless. She looked around and finally saw the street from which they had drifted away. She began to move her body very slowly, feeling pain in almost every part of her body. But she could move, and that's what kept her going foward. Her feet carried her up the little hill, and let her reach the street shortly after. As soon as she was standing on the street she looked from left to right, and realized in panic that there was far and wide no on to be seen. Her eyes got bigger with the growing feeling of helplessness, of not knowing what to do. She ran down the hill again as fast as she could and hobbled back to the car and to Brooke. She sat down again in the gras, next to a weaken Brooke.

"Okay, it's going to be okay. We just need you to get out of the car, okay?" Peyton brushed carefully a strand of hair out of Brooke's face, trying not to touch her bruises. Brooke opened her eyes again.

"Peyton? What happened?" her voice was still weak, but the fact that she was speaking, and she was alive gave Peyton an impulse of energy.

"Shh, don't talk sweetie. It's gonna be alright.." Peyton said, trying not to show, how terrified she was. She breathed in heavily, and reached for Brooke's shoulders and started dragging her out of the car very slowly. She pulled a little more as she felt how her body and her muscles had find new strength. Brooke uttered words of pain, but Peyton kept dragging her with her. As she got her out of the car she pulled her with her for some more meters, until they distanced themselves from the wrecked car, resting beneath a tree.

Peyton's hand remained on Brooke's shoulders, as she pulled her on her lap. Tears were streaming down Peyton's face as she saw all the blood covering Brooke's body. She ran her finger through Brooke's hair, which had been covered with dirt and blood as well.

"I'm gonna go try to get some help."

"Lucas..." Brooke whispered, having her eyes closed again.

Peyton swallowed hard. "He's not here. But I will get some help, okay?"

"No, please stay" Brooke's voice sounded weaker and softer with every word.

"I won't be far" Peyton assured her.

"I feel so tired..." said Brooke.

"No, you got to stay awake, do you hear me?" Peyton shook her body softly. "Brooke, open your eyes, you can't leave me here!"

Brooke didn't respond in any way. Peyton gasped in shock and bursted into tears. "Brooke..." She shook her body again, trying to wake her up. How she would love to hear a word that raspy voice of hers. Even a mean one, even if it would lead to an arguement.

Suddenly she listen attentively, believing to have heard a sound of a car in the distance. She looked up, her face showing a shimmer of hope. "I'll be right back." She informed her friend, as she shoved her sofly away from her lap. She got up and tried to get as fast as she could up the hill and on the street. She ignored all the pain she was feeling in all different parts of her body. She had no idea where the sudden strength came from. As she was climbing up to the street, images rushed through her head. She saw Brooke and her as little girls, playing in the garden, how Brooke was holding her hand after her mom had died, how they could laugh together, she saw them at their first school day, and some good moments from high school as well. She stumbled onto the street, feeling dizzy again. But as she saw the lights of the car coming nearer and nearer she stepped on the middle of the street, threw her arms in the air, waving, blanking out the pain in her right shoulder and started crying for help.

Peyton opened her eyes and was back in the hospital again, sitting on the bed, facing the doctor. "I want to see my friend. Where is she?"

"I'm afraid that's not possible..." The doctor's voice sounded very firm. The nurse started taking care of the one bruise she had on her forehead.

Peyton looked at him, still puzzled about his words and not understanding what he was telling her. "What do you mean, not possible?"

"She's still in surgery."

"Surgery?" Peyton's voice sounded shaky and afraid.

The doctor nodded. "It's a miracle that you're not seriously injured regarding the accident you've been involved in. You should consider yourself lucky."

Peyton's eyes got lost in the distance. "I have to go now" she said after a beat.

"Well like I said, you're not seriously injured but I'd like to take a closer look. I would advise you to stay for at least a night."

"I'm fine" Peyton answered immediately.

The doctor and the nurse exchanged a worried look.

"Do you have anyone that we can call for you, miss?" The nurse asked.

Peyton looked totally lost, and didn't seem to know the answer to that question.

"Any family?"

She shook her head slowly.Then she teard up as she whispered.

"She's my family. I am her family."

The nurse didn't respond immediately. "What about a friend? And what about her, does she maybe have someone we should inform? Maybe a boyfriend?"

Peyton looked up to her. Then she nodded.

"Do you want me to make the call for you?"

Peyton breathed in heavily. "I'll take care of it." The nurse showed her which phone she could use and left her alone. Peyton's hand were shaking as she was reaching for the telephone receiver. She put it to her ear, listening to the sound of the dial tone and thought about was she was going to say. They say sometimes it's more about how you say it and not what you're saying. But as she heard his voice, at the other end of the line, answering the call, she knew that either way, it was going to break his heart.

About twenty minutes later Lucas rushed into the hospital, followed by Haley and Nathan.

"Oh my god Peyton! Are you okay?" Haley asked as she hugged Peyton who was still looking rough. In her hair were traces of blood and dirt, as well on her left cheek. Peyton nodded absently. A few seconds later Mouth and Skillz arrived as well.

"Where is she?" Lucas's upset voice attracted Peyton's attention immediately. But she wasn't able to respond as she faced his worried eyes. "Where is Brooke?" he asked her for the second time.

"She's... She's still in surgery" Peyton informed Lucas and the rest of her friends who had gathered around them.

"Surgery? So is it bad?" Mouth asked from behind.

Peyton remained quiet, wrapping her arms around herself.

Lucas kept looking at her, waiting for an answer.

"Peyton?"

"I don't know..." she finally wispered, fighting back her own tears.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Lucas asked, obviously troubled about her short answers.

"I don't know, they told me nothing!" She finally said, regaining strength in her voice.

"Somebodys' gotta know something in here!" Lucas worries got mixed with that cruel feeling of helplessness. He turned around and stopped the first doctor passing them by.

"Excuse me, we're here for Brooke Davis, apparently she's still in surgery, we would like to know how she's doing..."

Before the doctor could inform them, that he wasn't the attending doctor his colleague showed up at the end of the corridor, nodding in his direction. "You're here for Brooke Davis?" he asked as he was walking towards them.

Everyone turned and walked in his direction. Lucas was the first to answer:

"Yes, how is she?"

"Is it serious?" Haley asked only a second later.

The doctor took a look at all those worried faces who had gathered around him. "We're still operating. She has some serious internal injuries and some fractures as well. I'm afraid that right now, it doesn't look too good. But we're doing everyting we can." He assured them, but he could tell by the expression of their faces that they weren't even paying attention. That's what relatives rarely do. Bad news are hard to process. Just like now, he saw it in their faces. Fear, Worry, concern, care.

The doctor said a few more words, and then left again in the direction of the OR.. Lucas's head was spinning. He couldn't grasp what he was hearing. It's like his head refused to process the shocking news he'd just got. Eventually he spotted Peyton, still standing a little aside from him and the rest of his friends.

"What happened?" Lucas asked Peyton as he approached her.

"I don't know. There was this accident and..." She paused, unable to say any more.

"What kind of accident?" Lucas digged deeper. But before Peyton could react, a nurse approached them, asking for someone to fill out the paper work. Lucas immediately agreed to take care of it. He left with the nurse, as the other remained waiting in the hallway.

"There you go sir." The nurse handed him a few documents where he had to fill in information about Brooke. He tried his best to concentrate on the questions; full name, birthday, adress, insurance company. As he was writing down the informations, his sight got clouded by his upcoming tears. He tried his best to control himself infront of the nurse, and tried to chase away all his concerned and worried thoughts. But he couldn't help it, pictures of a imaginary bleeding and injured Brooke kept rushing through his mind.

Allergies. Hereditary diseases. He put down the pen and covered his eyes for a moment with his hand.

"Is everything okay?" the nurse asked.

"I don't know all the answers. I mean, I can't tell you if she has any allergies. I don't know..." he said desperately.

The nurse nodded, realizing the current overstraining of the young man standing in front of her. "Don't worry about it, just write down everything you know, leave the rest to us."

He nodded, looking down at the documents again. Then he liftet his head again, still unsure if he should really ask the question he's been wanting to, if he was already prepared for the answer. "Can you tell me what exactly happened?"

Back in the waiting room, Haley was pacing around the room.

"Don't you want to sit down, Hales? You're making me even more nervous" Nathan told his wife. Haley faced him with a worried expression. Then she walked over to him and sat down next to him, taking his hand into hers.

"Peyton, are you alright? Aren't you suppose to be in a hospital bed too?" Skillz asked her while he was watching her sitting in silence in the opposite chair.

"I'm fine" she said, without looking into his eyes, trying to black out the dizziness she was feeling.

Everyone looked up, as Lucas entered the room again. Haley got up immediately and asked: "How is she? Any news?"

Lucas simply shook his head, standing in the middle of the room. Haley pulled him into a hug, whispering "It's going to be okay" into his ear.

"But, she's going to be alright, right?" Peyton's shaky voice made Lucas break away from Haley's embrace. He turned around slowly and faced her. His eyes darkened.

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you crashed your car into a tree."

Everyone listened up and seemed to be shocked what they were hearing.

Peyton looked at him with big eyes. He approached her. "What really happened Peyton?" He narrowed his eyes.

"I was driving and we were..." her voice fell suddenly silent. Peyton seemed absent for a moment. But then she seemed to find her words again. "We were argueing and somehow I lost control of the car..."

"How can you still be sitting here..." His voice was full of anger.

"Excuse me?"

"This is all your fault. What the hell is wrong with you?" his voice sounded not even angry, more deeply desperate.

"I didn't mean for this to happened. It was an accident."

"An accident?" Lucas voice got louder, now more angry than before. Haley stepped to his side, touching his arm, trying to calm him down. But he wasn't even paying attention and kept looking at Peyton.

"She might be dying Peyton! She might be dying because she was trying to make excuses for something she shouldn't even feel guilty for in the first place!"

"I am sorry..." Peyton was tearing up as she was trying to explain herself.

"Get out. I can't stand seeing you right now" he said in a steady but stern voice.

Peyton tried to object: "Lucas..."

"Get out!" He yelled. His voice resounded in the hallways of the hospital, leaving everyone around them frozen and a little uncomfortable. But noboby said anything, as Peyton tried to reach out to someone with her big, pleading eyes. She swallowed hard and nodded eventually. "Okay" she mumbeld and got on her feet. She turned around and felt how her tired and hurting body was carrying her away, in direction of the exit. Lucas watched her leave for a beat, but then turned around as well and made his way up to the OR again. He covered his mouth in shock, still not realizing what has happened in the last few hours.

"I'm gonna go check on Peyton" Skillz said, looking briefly at his friends. They didn't respond immediately. "Despite everything, she shouldn't be alone right now" he said. Nathan nodded, telling him to go after her. As Skillz walked away, Millie arrived in a hurry. She sat down next to Mouth who was sitting on a chair, with his head in his hands. As he felt Millies comforting touch on his back he looked up, glad to have her by his side.

Peyton made it eventually to the end of the hallway. But as soon as she was around the corner, her legs didn't seem to be able to carry her body anymore. She felt dizzy again, and the next thing she knew was sinking to the floor, her body had collapsed and forbid her to move any further. She broke out in tears, started to sobbing, not able to control her tears anymore. She hit her hand hard on the floor, whispering a weak "No... No..."

That's how Skillz found her when he came around the corner. He helped her up immediately, and carried her to the next free bed. "We need some help here!" He shouted down the hallway.

After a few hours, everyone was still infront of the OR station. Everyone was still sitting in their seats, silent and looking worried. Lucas stood infront of the door, which was seperating him from the station where she was being operated. It was prohibited to access the station. So all he could do was standing there, thinking about her, praying for a miracle. Praying that she was going to be okay. He leaned his head on the wall, and was the picture of a broken man. He wished he could be by her side, next to her, telling to be strong, to fight, and to return to him. But for now, all he could do was staring at the OR door.

Suddenly the OR opened, and the doctor came out, still in his green scrubs, removing his mask from his face, breathing heavily. Everyone got up, looking full of expectation at him.

Lucas pushed himself away form the wall, approaching the doctor.

Nobody seemed to be capable to ask the question, the question if she had made it, everyone was fearing the answer. Finally the doctor said: "We're done with the operation. Your friend has been seriously injured, some of them are life threatening. But we were able to stop the internal bleeding, and for now she is stable."

Mouth breathed out heavily in relief. Nathan put his arm around Haley, pulling her near her.

Lucas remained tensed. "Stable? What do you mean by stable? Is she...?"

"We did lose her for a moment, she had a flat line. But we were able to get her back. And truth to be said: That's a miracle regarding all the injuries she had."

Haley walked over to Lucas and put her hand on his back, showing him that he wasn't alone.

"At least her condition is stable for now" the doctor added.

"So you're saying she's not out of the woods yet?" Nathan asked.

The doctor shook his head. "No, she is stable for now, but she still hasn't regain consciousness. Her body is still too weak."

Lucas swallowed hard, stunned, not knowing what do with this information. "But... She is gonna wake up eventually, right?"

The doctor just looked at him. "I can't answer that. We can't predict how her body is going to react."

Lucas nodded slightly. Trying to control himself, trying to concentrate to ask the right questions, blanking out the ache he felt in his heart, and focused on the facts.

"But what do you do next, I mean, how do you treat something like this?"

He paced around a bit.

"I'm afraid right now there is not much we can do for your friend. We will have to wait for the next 48 hours, and see how her body reacts. I'm sorry."

"But, she's going to be okay, right?" Lucas's voice lost its strength with every spoken word. Haley pulled Lucas a little closer to her, she had feeling that he was about to break down.

"I'm sorry, right now I can't tell you much more than just to wait and see." The doctor looked at each and every one of them full of sympathy.

"Can we go see her?" Mouth asked from behind.

"Like I said, she's still unconsious."

"I want to see her" Lucas stated, his voice sounded like he wasn't going to accept a no.

The doctor looked at the young man in front of him, tears were shimmering in his eyes. His body was slightly shivering, and his expression was firm.

Eventually the doctor nodded. "Okay, but be quick. She needs to rest. And you got to scrub in first."

Lucas nodded and looked back at his friends. They all nodded encouraging in his direction, telling him to go. Haley hugged him briefly and then he followed the doctor through the doors of the OR section. As the door closed again, a teary Haley searched comfort in the arms of her husband. Mouth turned in shock towards Millie, who let him rest by her side.

"I already told you I'm fine" Peyton tried to stand up again, after she had been put on a bed.

"Young lady, you're not fine. Even if physically you've been very very lucky, emotionally you're far from being fine. You're facing a trauma. Which is not surprising regarding what happened to you."

Peyton looked away, folding her arms.

"Now I'd like to take a look at your shoulder. And I'd like to run some tests as well..."

Peyton was about to object, as the doctor cut her off immediately: "Just to be sure that you're 100 okay. And after that you are free to go."

Peyton looked at him.

"Peyton come on, you need this. You're not helping anyone by being so stubborn" said Skillz from behind. He had been sitting in a chair, across Peyton's bed.

Peyton looked over to him. After a beat she finally put her legs back ion the bed, and mumbeled: "Fine."

The doctor seemed relieved, and started examining her shoulder.

After Lucas had scrubbed in he was allowed to go see Brooke. As the door to her room opened and he entered, his breath caught. At first he was shocked by all the tubes coming out of her body, and all the medications that were getting back to her body. He managed to put one foot in front of the other and he slowly made his way up to her bed.

There she was lying. Pale, injured and weak. He just looked at her for a beat, trying to process the picture he's been seeing. He took her hand in his and squeezed it, trying to show her that she wasn't alone. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. Trying to make this all go away, praying that when he would open his eyes again she would be smiling at him, and look at him with her loving eyes. That she would return his touch and that he would be able to feel the warmth coming from her skin. But when he opened them she was still lyiing there, not responding to his touch or his thoughts.

"Hey Brooke, it's me..." He finally managed to say. He reached out his hand to touch her cheek but he pulled his hand back again, afraid that he might hurt her. She looked so small and so fragile; it was almost like he could break her. He lifted his head, taking notice of all the monitors blinking beside her bed. Then he lowered his eyes again, resting them on her pretty face. "I am here. I'm not going anywhere. And I will be here when you wake up" he promised in a whisper while his eyes got filled with tears. One tear was streaming down his face, but he let it fall freely, concentrating on this girl lying infront of him. Not just any girl, his girl.

While Lucas was visiting Brooke, Skillz catched up with the others, who where still waiting in front of the OR. He told them about Peyton, that she was now lying in a hospital bed as well. Skillz filled them in; that she needed to stay for a few days in the hospital but it was nothing serious. They all took notice, but didn't ask any further.

"So how's Brooke?" he asked eventually.

In that moment the door opened and Lucas stepped out. His eyes seemed lost but he laid them eventually on Haley who was ready to catch him, as she offered him a big hug. He gladly returned her gesture, not able to talk for the moment.

A nurse came into Peyton's room. "You called Miss Sawyer?"

"Yes, I want to know how my friend is doing… Her name is Brooke Davis."

"The girl who was with you in the accident?" asked the nurse.

"Exactly. As far as I know she's being operated right now."

"They've already finished" said the nurse.

"And how… How is she? I mean, is she…"

"She's alive. She made it through the operation. But she is still uncouscious."

"But when she's gonna wake up, she'll be okay?" Peyton asked with a little voice.

"I don't know. Right now everything is still unclear. But you should talk to the doctor in charge."

The nurse left again, leaving Peyton alone in her own world of the big unknown.

As time went by, Nathan left to check on Jamie, Millie went home as well, and Skillz went to school to cancel practise for the next few days.

It was past midnight when only Mouth, Haley and Lucas remained sitting in the seats which they have been sitting for hours now. Waiting. They didn't talk much. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Haley tried her best to be there for her Lucas, but was feeling awful as well.

Suddenly Luke's voice resounded: "I keep asking myself – why was she in that car? And why were they even argueing? I mean, Peyton got what she wanted…" He blinked his upcoming tears away. "Brooke told me that it was over in the sake of her friendship with Peyton – so what was there to argue? Why did this accident happen? And why her?" Haley didn't know what to answer; she just looked at him full of compasion. Then she reached out her arms and placed it around his shoulders. "It was an accident Luke. A terrible cruel accident. I don't think we're supose to understand something like that."

Mouth watched the scene from across the hallway in silence. He frowned, and you could see from the look on his face that he was lost in his own thoughts.

The doctor walked by again. "Don't you think you should head home? There is nothing you can do for your friend right now..."

Mouth got up. "Yeah, I'm gonna head home. But I will be back tomorrow."

The doctor nodded and turned towards Lucas who was still sitting there, his head in his hands. "What about you? Don't you think some sleep would do you good? We call you as soon as something changes."

"I'm staying" he simply said.

"Luke, maybe you should..."

"I'm staying" he repeated, he raised his voice, showing that he didn't approve any contradiction. The doctor nodded and walked away. Mouth said goodbye to his friends and walked away. Haley watched him leave as she faced Lucas again.

"Why don't you come home with me? You'll have a shower, maybe get a few hours of sleep and then you'll have some new energy to face this here again in the morning."

"Haley, I'm not leaving her. She needs to know that I'm not going anywhere..." He faced her briefly but looked away again. "It's not going to happen again. I won't leave her" his voice was on the edge of cracking.

Haley put her hand on his back. "I'm sure she knows that Luke. I'm sure she feels that wherever you are."

"Still, I'm not going to let her go through this alone."

"And what if I'm not going to let you go through this alone?" Haley said.

He looked at her. "You should get home Hales. Jamie needs you."

Halley resigned and got up on her feet. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

He nodded. She kissed him briefly on his head and then she left.

In the next morning Peyton got a visit from a officer from the Tree Hill Police station.

"I'm sorry about your accident. Hope you're doing better?" he asked as he sat down in a chair next to her bed.

Peyton shrugged her shoulders. "It will be okay."

"I'm glad to hear that Miss Sawyer. Listen, I just came by to tell you that we're closing the investigation. It was clearly an accident."

Peyton blinked, not sure to feel shocked that they seem to have investigated or relieved that they stopped. After a beat she just nodded.

"Oh and in case you're wondering – your car is at the breakers yard. It's totally wrecked. I'm afraid you won't be able to fix it." He leaned forward. "We saved all your belongings at the police station. You can get them anytime you want."

"Okay, thank you" Peyton wrapped her arms around herself.

The officer got up and was already on his way out as he turned around again.

"I found this on the backseat of your car. I thought I'd bring this to you in person."

He handed her an envelope which was adressed to her. She immediately reconized Brooke's handwriting. She froozed and stared at the envelope in his hand. She took it eventually with shaky hands. She didn't even hear the officer saying goodbye or how he opened the door and left, all she could hear was Brooke's voice and reliving the moment again where she had given her this letter.

"_Okay, I kind of was expecting the silence treatment, so I wrote you a letter instead" Brooke said carefully as she drew an envelope out of her purse, which she had placed on her lap before. She handed the letter over to Peyton. _

_Peyton looked at it for a beat then she took it and threw it on the back seat._

"_Great, more apologies and lame excuses. Thanks."_

_Brooke looked hurt and offended. "What the hell happened to you?"_

As Peyton snapped out of it she was back in the hospital room, sitting in her hospital bed, still holding the letter in her hands. Her whole body was shaking and she stared into space with big eyes.

At the same time Mouth stopped by the hospital before going to work. At the reception desk they informed him that it was possible to visit her room. She did make it through the night, which was a good sign.

Mouth wasn't surprised to find Lucas sitting by her bed, watching over her.

As he opened the door Lucas didn't even turned around he didn't even notice him. Mouth eventually spoke up: "She was on her way to you."

Peyton turned the letter around in her hands. New tears were formed in her big green eyes. Somehow she didn't feel worthy to open it. Like she lost the right to do it.

But then her fingers ripped the letter open, unfolded it, and she began reading, hearing Brooke's raspy voice over her.

"_Dear Peyton__, I'm writing you to let you know that I did break things off with Lucas. Just like you've asked me to. I gave it all up for you. I couldn't bear the thought of loosing you. You're my best friend, you're the sister I've never had but alway wished for. You're family."_

Lucas turned to face him in surprise. He frowned. He seemend tired.

"What are you talking about Mouth?"

_"So I looked into the eyes of the only man I've ever truly loved and told him that I could never be with him. I made him walk away, just like I walked away from him a few years ago._

_But you know what I came to realize Peyton?"_

"You asked yourself why she was in this car. The last time I saw and spoke to her was a few hours before I got that call telling me about the accident. It was probably right before the accident. She was leaving her store to go find you – and somehow she ended up here, in that hospital insted of your arms." He paused, resting his eyes on her. Then he looked up face Lucas again. "But she was on her way to you."

**FLASHBACK**

"Brooke?" Mouth walked into the store, looking for his friend.

"I'm here Mouth" he heard Brooke saying. Her voice came from the back of her store. He walked in her direction and found her finally under her desk, sitting there in tears.

"I really messed up Mouth…" Tears were streaming down her cheek. He kneeled down beside her, offering her a tissue, which she accepted thankfully.

"What happened?"

"I broke things off with Lucas."

"What? Why would you do that?"

"Well, Peyton told me that we won't be friends anymore until I would end things with Lucas for good."

"She did what?" Mouth's voice sounded highly irritated.

Brooke bit her lower lip, and wiped away her tears, not responding.

"I can't believe this" Mouth said. "Well, what did Lucas say?"

"That he wants to be with me. That he finally found where he belonged..." Brooke looked at him, and Mouth returned her look. "So after our talk I went home, and I wrote Peyton a letter, telling her, that I just couldn't go through with it, that my heart is just stronger than my head."

Mouth nodded, still listening.

"But then I came to my office, and here I am again, having second thoughts about pushing my best friend away for good. I mean, what if he hurts me again, what if we're not meant to be after all?" Tears kept streaming down her face. "God, this whole thing is so messed up!" she said in her own desperation, burrying her face behind her hands.

"Actually it's very simple." He said and fixed her with his eyes. After a beat he added:

"Do you love him?"

Brooke closed her eyes, resting the back of her head on the desk. After a beat she nodded. "Yes, I do."

"That's the only answer you need Brooke. The only right answer to this mess."

"Mouth, I can't. What about Peyton…"

"Brooke, this isn't about Peyton." He cut her off. "This is about you. Stop putting your own happiness on hold for other people's sake. And stop feeling guilty about this. I've been seeing you way too long doing this to yourself. Life is short Brooke. Quit being scared and stop worrying about what others might think or what may be tomorrow or in a few years from now – all we have is now. And I say if you found your happiness, then grab it, and hold on to it as tight as you can…" He put his hand on hers and squeezed it. "So go find happiness. You deserve it."

Brooke's expression changed as she let the words of her friend sink in. Suddenly all the worry and the guilt desappeared and all there was left was Lucas. How he was looking at her with his loving eyes, how his hand was touching hers, how his lips would capture hers so perfectly.

"_You can't run away from love.__ When you found that one person who makes you whole and completes you, who makes your heart ache in a good way, who makes your skin crawl…"_

In the present, Haley and Nathan were cuddling up next to each other on the couch, both looking worried.

_"…who can tell how you are and what read your thoughts by just looking at you, who shares your dreams and desires, – when you've truly found the one person in the whole world you want to grow old with – you should hold on to him as tight as you can and never let him go..."_

"Go!" Mouth encouraged her, knowing exactly what was going on in her head.

Mouth helped her get on her feet. As soon as she was standing in front of him a shy smile came across her face.

"Thank you Mouth." She hugged him briefly and then she ran out of her store, heading for the parking lot, where she had left her car earlier.

"_So I'm gonna go find Lucas and hope that he will be able to forgive me and that he still wants me the way I want him.. And I want you to know and to understand that I am not doing this out of revenge nor out of intention to hurt you – I'm doing this because I need to follow my heart."_

After Mouth had left again, Lucas was still sitting in the chair beside Brooke's bed. His hand was on Brooke's hand, and he simply watched her with tears shimmering in his eyes.

_"I want to start being the girl I lost somewhere along the road and show her that there is no need to feel not good enough. I want to tell her that it is wrong to think not to deserve a love so pure and sacred."_

Peyton's tears were streaming down her face as she was reading Brooke's letter, still sitting in her hospital bed.

Haley and Nathan were talking to Jamie, trying to explain their son what had happened to his beloved godmother.

Millie closed the cloths over bro's store and walked over to Mouth who was waiting for her on the other side of the street.On the door there was a sign, saying: "closed due to family medical emergency"

Lucas was still sitting in the chair beside Brooke. Waiting and praying.

He had his head in his hands, trying to process what Mouth had just told him. He looked up again and faced her. She had been on her way to him...

"_A girl who is your friend as well Peyton. And I am praying that the one day you will be able to look at me and see your best friend. The one I've been since our childhood, the one I am being right now writing this letter and the one I always will be. Love, Brooke."_

Peyton sinked her hand and let the letter fall on her bed cover. She covered her mouth with her hand and started to sob and cry.

--

_**TBC**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Hey everyone**_

_**Thanks for all your sweet feedback and kind reviews, I am glad that each and every one of you enjoy this story.  
I am sorry for this delayed update - I am having a diffcult time right now, my boyfriend and I broke up after five long years... I've been busy crying and mending and not so much with writing...**_

_** But most of all I am trying to understand why life can turn out to be so cruel... It's almost ironic, even though you love one another so dearly sometimes it doesn't seem to be enough...**_

_**- Elisa**_

--

Peyton woke up the next morning screaming Brooke's name. She found herself sitting in her bed. She had lived it all over again. The accident, Brooke's scream as they hit the tree, watching the ambulance men carrying her body into the ambulance. As she opened her eyes completely she realized that someone was sitting in a chair beside the window with crossed arms. He wasn't too close, it's not like he could reach out his hand to touch hers. It was like he intentionally distand himself from her.

"Having a bad dream?" asked Lucas with a stern expression.

She frozed for a beat, surprised to see him. She wasn't able to read him, not sure if he was going to yell at her again or if this would be a friendly visit.

"The doctor said that you'd be fine in no time. That you'd be able to go home by tomorrow."

Peyton nodded. "Yeah" she simply responded. She sat up a little, and went with her fingers through her hair. "How is she?" she asked with a little voice.

At first Lucas chuckled bitterly. He covered his eyes with his hands for a beat. Then he looked up to her and narrowed his eyes. "Worse than you that's for sure."

Peyton looked down on the cover of her bed sheets.

"She's still unconscious. Still fighting for her life" his voice was raspy.

"Luke, you have to believe me, I didn't want this. I am so sorry..."

"I am not here to hear how sorry you are, Peyton." He cut her off immediately.

Peyton's eyes widened by his harsh voice. "So I guess this isn't a friendly visit" she mumbled more to herself than to him.

"Remember in senior year, when Brooke broke up with me? When I was showing up in your room? 'crying like a baby' how you would call it. And you'd come up with all those ideas how you could bring us back together."

Peyton had no clue where this was going. But she nodded. "I was just being your friend."

Lucas ignored her last comment and went on. "And do you remember how I couldn't get this question out of my system? Why did Brooke break up with me? What could possibly had happened that she would leave me? Was it about that stupid kiss in the library?" He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "And you, my so called friend Peyton, claimed to not know why." He got up, and turned towards the window. "But you did." He turned around to face again. "You did know why Brooke had been scared and had second thoughts, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Lucas..."

"You told her about your feelings for me. Months before you and me actually were a question for me. You made her doubt my intentions towards her. How could you do that?"

Peyton swallowed. "I tried helping you getting her back."

"Out of bad concisous?"

"No, no. Because... Because I knew you loved her" she said, realizing what she's been saying.

"That's right. And still you kept the real reason from me. Afraid that I might find my way back to her?"

"Why does this even matter now Luke?"

"Why does it matter?" He stepped a few steps closer. "Do you know how many days and nights I've spent missing her and asking myself why she left? I even told myself and her that I wasn't the guy for her!" His voice sounded sad and remorseful. "And there you were. My seemingly friend Peyton. Knowing the answer all along."

She shook her head. "This happened such long time ago..."

"And nothing has changed. You're still so full of selfishness..." He looked at her, and she stared back. She opened her mouth to say something but find herself too shocked to come up with something.

He made his way to the door. Before he left out of the door he said: "You'd better hope and pray that she's going to be alright."

When Lucas was walking his through the hallways back to the intensiv care unit he thought hearing a familiar voice. When he passed the last corner he saw her standing there. Looking good as always. He speeded up his walk and finally reached her. She put his arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He leaned into her embrace, closing his eyes and letting his strong guard he has been holding up lately fall down. He was in the arms of the woman who might knew him the best, who had knew how to comfort him his whole life. His mother.

Only shortly later, Lucas was sitting at the kitchen table in his house, drinking a hot tea. Haley, Nathan and Jamie had stopped by the hospital, so his mother could convience him to leave the hospital for a few hours.

His hair were still wet, as he was just coming out of the shower. Karen sat across from him, listing attentively to her son, telling her all about how he and Brooke had found each other again, and how the accident had happened. She hold his hand when his voice was about to crack up, and she offered him a hug when he was about to break down.

"Where is Lilly and Andy?" he asked after some time.

"They stayed in Florida. That's where we last were with out boat. As soon as Haley called I knew it was serious. So I took the next flight and came here."

"Mom, you didn't have to..."

"I know. But I wanted to. My son needs me right now, how could I be anywhere else? And besides, they will join us as soon as they can. Unless you mind a crowded house?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. It would be nice to have you around." He looked at her. "It's so good to see you Mom"

She nodded and stroke his cheek. "You too son. You too."

Back in the hospital, Nathan, Haley and Jamie were gathered around Brooke's hospital bed. Jamie had been looking at his godmother for the longest time, not saying anything. Nathan and Haley shared a worried look.

"Is she sleeping mommy?" Jamie asked his mother eventually.

She stroke his head.. "Yes sweetie."

"Then why doesn't she wake up?"

"Because her body is too weak. She still needs to rest" she explained her son, choosing her works carefully.

"Can I squeeze her hand?" he asked with a little voice.

Nathan could feel that his wife was tearing up. He stepped closer and lifted Jamie up. He let him sit on the edge of the bed. Jamie reached out his hand and put it on hers. His little fingers were rubbing hers. His eyes got bigger as he was watching her. Nathan put his arm around his wife, as they were watching the heartbreaking scene.

Peyton was sitting in the chair facing the window when she heard suddenly a knock on the door. She didn't answer, but it opened anyway. She didn't even bother to turn around. She kept staring out of the window.

"Hey Peyton" Skillz and Mouth showed up by her side. Peyton faced them eventually.

"How are you feeling, better?" Skillz asked.

"I'm fine" answered Peyton, almost automatically. "Any news on Brooke?" Her eyes were full of hope. But it vanished again as the two boys shook their head.

"Actually I'm gonna go check on her" said Mouth. "I'm glad that you're okay Peyton."

"Thanks for stopping by Mouth" she thanked him.

"It's what Brooke would have wanted me to do." He touched her shoulder briefly. He was about to let her go again as Peyton hold him back, putting her hand on his. "Mouth?"

He stopped and turned around again.

"Please tell her... Tell her that I am sorry. And just... just tell her I love her, okay?" Her big pleading, teary eyes stared into his. Mouth nodded and left Skillz and Peyton alone.

Haley sat by herself at Brooke's bedside. Nathan and Jamie had left again, they didn't want expose Jamie any longer to the image of his hurting beloved godmother. She wanted him to remember her as the good hearted, smiling, kind and beautiful woman she always has been. She closed her eyes and tried to remember their last conversation or their last moment she had seen her. But somehow she wasn't able to. A knock on the door made her open her eyes again. She spotted Mouth in the door. She smiled weakly into his direction as he made his way up to her.

"Hey" he greeted her softly. "How is she?"

"No change" Haley breathed out heavily. "I just wish that there was more we could do, you know?" She got up on her feet.

"And I wished that there was more I could do for Lucas. I mean he plays it down, trying to be strong, but I know how broken up he is inside. I mean just look at her..." Haley stroke Brookes hair carefully, not wanting to touch her bruises.

Mouth nodded. "I know." He walked on the other side of Brooke's bed. Both watched her in silence, trying to hold on to the hope that everything was going to be okay.

In the next morning Lucas got up early. It's not like was sleeping anyway but he promised his mother to lay down for a few hours after they had talked trough the most of the night.

As he was about to get out of the door his mother showed up behind him.

"Luke? Are you going to the hospital?"

He turend around and faced her. She was already fully dressed.

"Yes. I need to be near her."

She nodded. "Care if I join you?"

Lucas smiled a little as he shook his head. As she got her jacket he opened the door and let her walk out first.

At the same time Peyton was released from the hospital. She had packed her stuff and looked around in her room for a beat. Her arm was packed up in a armlet to keep her shoulder from being moved. She knew that no one was going to pick her up. But she found herself waiting anyway. She took a deep breath, took her bag and walked out of the room. She followed the long hallways in direction of the exit. But then the sign "intensive care" pointing to the right hallway caught her eyes. She stopped and looked at it for a beat. Then she turned right and went down the hallway.

Shortly after she opened the room. She scanned the room before she entered. She was relieved to see that there was no one around. She approached her bed slowly. As soon as she saw her she covered her mouth in shock. She was still pale, fragile and covered with bruises. She stepped closer and put her hand on her arm. "Sweetie I am so sorry. I didn't want this." She shook her head, trying to keep her tears from falling. Her head snapped around as she heard how the door was being opened.

Her surprised, almost fearful looking eyes met Lucas's angry eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked through his clenched teeth. As he stepped a forward into her direction she froze.

"I just needed to see her Luke" she tried to explain herself.

"You have no right to be here!" He exclaimed with a hushed voice. That's when Karen entered the room. Her eyes widened as she saw Peyton and realized how much Lucas was upset. She could feel his anger. She stepped at his side and touched his arm.

"Lucas..." she started to calm him down.

But Peyton stepped back from Brooke's bed. "It's okay Karen. It's okay" she whispered. Under Lucas watch she distanted herself from her bed and walked to the door. Lucas kept standing in the room, he wasn't moving an inch.

Peyton reached for the door, but before she opened it she turned around again.

"She chose to follow her heart. She chose you, Luke..." she said in a soft voice. Lucas closed his eyes, letting this sink in.

"I thought you ought to know that" added Peyton almost in a whisper.

Karen had turned around to face her. She tried her best to give Peyton a encouraging smile. Peyton nodded slightly. Then she left quielty.

Lucas walked up next to Brooke and leaned down to put a soft kiss on her lips. Her lips were cold, and as expected didn't respond. He remained close to her face for a beat, but then he straighten up his body again. Karen stepped at his side. "Do you really think that the pain you're feeling, that fear of loosing her is going to get away by blaming Peyton?"

Lucas looked down. "It was her fault mom."

"Maybe she was the one who's been driving that car, but you can't seriously think that she caused this on purpose" tried Karen to get through to him.

Lucas didn't respond. He just kept looking at Brooke.

The next day came and Lucas had spent another night in the hospital. As he was getting out of the bathroom down the hallway he heard the doctor talking to his mother and Nathan and Haley. At first he speeded up his steps, but as he approached them he stopped, waiting behind the corner, listening to them without being notice.

"I'm afraid it doesn't look good for your friend" the doctor said with a stern voice.

"But you said that the operation went well..." said Haley.

"Yes, regarding the circumstances it did went well. We stopped her internal bleeding and injuries, but you don't have to forget what an immense damage this accident caused to her body. She's still recovering, but to tell you the truth, it is not a good sign that she still hasn't woken up yet."

"But what is that suppose to mean? She might not be waking up at all? That she might..." Haley stopped, unable to speak the thought out loud. Nathan put his arm around her, shocked as well.

"What are her chances, doctor?" Karen looked at him with a last glimmer of hope in her eyes.

The doctor waited for a beat until he answered. "Not good. Because even if she might wake up, the longer she stays in that coma, the bigger chances are that she might have permanent cerebral damages."

Karen looked away, letting this sink in.

"You're wrong!"

Everyone turned around in surprise to find Lucas stand in front of them.

"Lucas..." Karen tried reaching out to him, realizing that he has been listening to them.

"You're wrong" Lucas repeated, not paying attention to his mother. He approached the doctor. "She is going to wake up. Because she is stronger than you think. And until she does, I'm gonna watch over her..." He looked the doctor in the eye. Then he turned around and headed for Brooke's room.

Haley could feel how her best friend was hurting. She was about to follow him, but Karen stopped her. "Let me take care of him."

Haley nodded silently and watched her rushing after her son.

Nathan thanked the doctor. As he was leaving, Nathan went over to his wife, and pulled her into a big hug.

Karen entered Brooke's room and find her son standing by the window, staring out into space. "Just leave it mom. I don't want to hear anything the doctor said. I just need to believe that she's going to come back to me..."

With bright eyes he quickly glared over to her.

"Did you know that Keith always was very fond of Brooke?" she asked him with a hushed voice.

As his mother mentioned Keith Lucas looked up to her. His mother didn't talk much about Keith – the father of her little daughter, his little sister. Keith – the man she had fallen in love with a long time ago, maybe even at the time they were raising Lucas. Keith - who always was a father to him.

Their eyes met.

"He approved her a lot. To him she was this honest, good-hearted, beautiful – strong young woman who was underestimated. I remember he once told me, you're the happiest around her. She always managed to take that weight off your shoulders you seem to carry around with you. And he was right. He loved to see you happy, to see you smile – we both did." Karen fixed Brooke with her eyes as she sat down in a chair next to her bed.

Lucas couldn't help but smile a little.

"He was sure that you too had found each other for good this time."

"You've never told me this before." Lucas turned around from the window and sat down as well on the other side of her bed.

"Well, you have been dating other women since" she grinned at him, and he returned it slightly, rolling his eyes a little. "And you know, for a long time it has been hard to talk about him. Or to just think about him. But I realized that I want Lilly to know her father. I want to tell her as much as I can about him. And I want you to recall the moments you shared with him. I don't want the memories to vanish – because it might be everything he left us."

Lucas stared again into space. "God I wish I could talk to him. I wish he could be here right now..."

He looked at his mother again. She reached for his hand over Brooke's bed, letting him know that she was sharing the feeling.

"Knock knock" Haley entered Peyton's record label only to find her sitting in the middle of the room, records spreading all around her.

"I thought I'd find you here, since you weren't at Brooke house."

"I moved out of there. Besides, it wouldn't feel right to go back there right now" Peyton answered with a sad voice. "Why did you come, Haley?"

"To see how you're doing. How's the shoulder?"

Peyton shrugged. "Getting better I guess."

As Haley approached her she turned around to face her. "How is she?"

Haley simply looked at her. "No change" she finally said.

Peyton turned towards her records again, and remained silent.

"Music used to give me so much. It used to heal me. But right now there is nothing but this void inside of me. I tried search for this one song which would it all make go away, which would it all make better – but I just can't. Because there is no pretty melody, no true lyrics out there which could possibly fill this emptiness I'm feeling."

"How about facing the real reason of that emptiness?" Haley suggested as she sat down beside her.

"Lucas wouldn't want me to" Peyton answered as she frowned.

"Can't really blame him, can you?"

Peyton nodded. "No" she said barely audible.

"I'm surprised to see you Hales. I thought nobody would want to have something to do with me anymore" she admitted. "But I can't blame you guys either" she added.

"It's not like that Peyton..." Haley tried to explain. "Doesn't mean that I don't want you to be okay."

Peyton faced her briefly, giving her a little smile, showing her that she does understand.

Haley got up on her feet again. She touched her shoulder briefly. As she walked away Peyton suddenly spoke up.

"Did you know that she encouraged me to come home? She gave me this record label... But most of all the offered me a home. A warm welcoming home. One of the homes you're happy to return to at the end of a bad day, or even a great day." her voice trailled off. She shook her head slightly. "And what did I gave her in return? Nothing but self-rightousness."

"Make sure to remember that and to tell her that when she's going to wake up" advised Haley before she left the room.

The next days went by without any change on Brooke's condition.

Her bruises on the outside were healing, but the process of recovering from her inside injuries were onnly going slowly. Everyone had to stand by – sit and wait for her to wake up.

Brooke had a lot of visitors. Millie and Mouth came by, bringing her flowers. Haley and Nathan came by daily, sometimes they brought Jamie along. Peyton stayed away, but found herself infront of the hospital building every day. She stopped and thought about visiting her every time, but she couldn't overcome her bad conscious and decided leave again.

Lucas barely left her side, and when he did he felt the urge again to be at her side again. But he appreciate the warmth he refelt when he came home – the house was crowded with Lilly and Andy, who had joined Karen. As much as he enjoyed their company, especially the company of his little sister he hasn't been seeing much in the last years, he felt most needed in this particular hospital room, watching over the woman he loved so dearly.

"Hey pretty girl..." Lucas find himself sitting next to Brooke's bed once again. He had gone home and promised his mother to take some rest, but he couldn't sleep. Everytime he had closed his eyes he saw her infront of him. Images had rushed through his head, and he wasn't able to control them or to make them stop. He got up, left quietly, without waking his mother and arrived here some minutes ago. So there he was sitting in the chair, looking tired and desperate. He spent his time just watching her, still not ready to let go of the hope that she was going to wake up. It has been almost a week now that she's been lying in a coma. No change. He banished the doctor's voice resounding in his head he had heard the other day, saying that the chances would sink with every hour she spent in that coma. He got on his feet and softly shoved her to the side, creating a little space for him to lie down. He put his leg on the bed and softly pulled his whole body with him, placing his arm on the top of her bed, around her head, carefully trying not to touch or hurt her. He turned himself towards her, and caressed her cheeks softly.

_Pray God you can cope  
I stand outside this woman's work  
This woman's world  
It's hard on the man  
Now his part is over  
Now starts the craft of the father  
_

He would never gave up on her. She was strong, and he knew that she was fighting her way back. Back to life - back to him. He remembered Mouths words: _She was on your way to you._

_I know you have a little life in you yet  
I know you have a lot of strength left  
I know you have a little life in you yet  
I know you have a lot of strength left  
_

He fighted back his tears. He didn't want her to show how he was longing for her – he wanted to be strong for her. At the same time he felt angry, that destiny wasn't giving them the chance to live what they finally found in each other – what has been there all along – a love so pure and strong.

_I should be crying, but I just can't let it show  
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking  
Of all the things I should've said  
That I never said  
All the things we should've done  
That we never did  
All the things I should've given  
But I didn't  
Oh, darling, make it go  
Make it go away_

"Sometimes I wake up and find myself unter that same night..." whispered Lucas into her ear. "Unter those same stars. Where we sat on your balcony, you were sitting by my side, resting your head on my shoulder. We talked and the air was full of possibilites, chance and hope. The same night I fell asleep by your side and as I was just holding you, listening to your heart beating, I felt this stillness I've been missing for so long. And now I'm sitting here, trying my best to find that feeling again. But I just can't..." Lucas chocked up a little.

_  
Give me these moments back  
Give them back to me  
Give me that little kiss  
Give me your hand_

"It vanishes with every day, minute and second that goes by. I'm trying my best to hold on here, Brooke. But you gotta help me out here. I need you. I need you to open your eyes and look into mine." He took her hand in his. "I need you to squeeze my hand." He rubed his thumb over her hand. "I can't do this without you... We didn't even started living my pretty girl... We never had the chance.. I need you to come back. Please..." As he was talking to her he felt for the first time as if she was gone. Like he was literally just talking to a body. His eyes told him that it was Brooke. He could touch her, and he even could reconize her smell when he concentrated. But still, his feeling was calling her name, missing her terribly, and telling him that she was no longer there.

And that's where it hit him, he couldn't hold back his tears, couldn't control anymore, everything he's been holding back kept coming out.

"_I'm holding on for dear life, but I need you to need me back."_

The image of her breaking down in front of him at the reception of Haley and Nathan came back to his mind. He whished he could go back and change it. He wished he had said something. He wished he had done something.

He burried his face on her shoulder, sobbing and crying. He put his arms around her, trying to hold to her for dear life.

_  
I know you have a little life in you yet  
I know you have a lot of strength left  
I know you have a little life in you yet  
I know you have a lot of strength left  
_

In this very moment, Brooke Davis' fingers began to move, and her eyes fluttered open.

--

TBC


End file.
